Red ass Ryan #1 - The German Teacher

by Red ass Ryan <>

The German teacher was at the front of the room, babbling on and on how the Berlin wall is long gone, and how our textbooks are wrong. Big deal. I wish that we didn't have to take German. I'm only in the 5th Grade. Why can't we take Spanish. Si Seniorita, and all that. The guy beside me, Dave, has a German dictionary and was looking up dirty words in it. He passed me a note with the word, "Schlampe (slut)" written on it. I asked him why he gave it to me. He said, "call the teacher that."

"No way!!" I replied. "I don't want to call then teacher something mean!"

"You are a god_d_a_m_n_ chicken _s_h_i_t_, Ryan." He said.

"Alright... I'll tell her." I replied. I felt sort of curious as I raised my hand.

"Was ist denn los, Ryan?" asked the teacher. (What is the matter?)

"Frau, du bist eine Schlampe." (Ma'am, you are a slut) I said. When her face turned as red as a beet, I knew I was in for it. She screamed," go down to the Principal's office NOW!!!" I knew that was bad since she NEVER speaks English in class. Anyways, I went down to the office, and told the secretary why I was there. 10 minutes later, the teacher came down, and told the Principal what happened. They then called my Dad. My stomach dropped down to my feet. I had been in a bit of trouble recently, and he was somewhat agitated with me. I figured that he would ground me for a month or two. That was as harsh as Dad got, but it was his silent treatment that made me feel sick. After he came and spoke to the teacher and Principal, he drove me home. When we got in the door, he didn't even look at me when he told me to go to my room.

He came to my door about 15 minutes later. He was very pissed off. His face was still red, and his eyes were downright mean looking; I was scared. Then I saw what was in his hands: a gigantic wooden bath brush, the kind with the flat back. I felt like my appendix exploded. I never thought that he was going to SPANK me!! He hadn't done that for about 6 years now.

He sat down next to me said, "son, not only have you offended your teacher, but you have humiliated me. The people at the school now think that I am a bad parent since you know this word. I'm going to fix that. Not only am I going to spank you like never before, but you are going to show your bruised bottom to your teacher tomorrow."

"You can't do that!!!!" I cried.

"Watch me," he said. And with that, he grabbed the waistband of my jogging pants and my underwear and ripped them down to my knees. In one motion, he pulled me onto his lap, and put his leg around mine to prevent me from squirming. He then announced that I was to receive 50 smacks with the brush. 50!!!! I begged and pleaded, but my cried were met with deaf ears. The first *CRACK* made my whole body go into a spazm. I didn't really start to cry until the 5th *CRACK*. Then, he spead up, *CRACK* *CRACK* *CRACK* like a metronome. I was bawling like a 2-year-old who lost his mommy. My bum was SO sore, and hot. By the time the 50th *CRACK* was applied to by rear, was blubbering away. He took me off his lap, and told me to, "wait there." He went down the hall to his room, and returned with a belt. He then announced that I was to get another 50 with the belt. He then put me spread-eagle on the bed, and applied the belt to my ass with another 50 resounding *CRACK*s. By then, I was almost unconscious, or at least I thought. He then gave me a gigantic bear hug, and told me that he loved me, and that he hopes that I never use that kind of language again. I was in so much pain that I kept crying for most of the night.

The next day, the German teacher made me bare by bum infront of the entire class to demonstrate what happens to kids in Germany when they disobey their parents. What a friggin cultural experience for the class. I went through the rest of the month with the name, "Red ass Ryan." Dave, the dictionary guy, laid it on the most. I had my revenge planned for him....

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