Horse Radish


by Apple Butt

This takes place right before the stories HORSE TRAINER and HORSE WHIPPED. Like those others, it is based on a rockin' story I read right here...

***

Well, summer time came and went. Without much noticed. I got a letter from my friend, Alex, again. He is such a trip. I really do miss him sometimes. Since Markley forced me to get a job, I didn't have much time for hanging out with my friends at home, much less travel all the way up to see Alex and my Uncle Rod and the gang.

The other major disappointment to working during the summer, is that I wasn't able to go on too many scouting trips. Not that I was really that keen on hanging out with a bunch of kids younger than me, but Skyler and Tim were still in scouts, and we still had some fun going camping and stuff.

I was particularly bummed that I had missed the big Camporee. It was the first time in years, too, that I had missed it. I wasn't alone, either; neither Sky or Timmy made the trip either. And neither did Chris, who was still (after all these years) the object of my continued obsession.

I can't explain it why Horse still fascinated me. Not since Alex was I that captivated by another person. I knew Skyler hated Chris (and with good reason), but I couldn't help thinking about him each and every second of each and every mother-_f_u_c_k_ing day. And I knew things would only be getting worse soon: the little creep would be coming to the high school in the fall, and I'd be seeing him and fantazing about that creature in his pants.

That's why, dispite being told not to do it by Timmy and Skyler, I invited Horsey to come on our own Scout camping trip the week of the Camporee. It was suppose to be just me, Tim, Sky and some of the younger kids from the Weeblo's Troop that couldn't go on the Camporee either, but by inviting Horsey along, you would have thought I had invited Satan himself.

"Dude!" Skyler was so pissed. "Why did you invite that _s_h_i_t_?! Are you asking for trouble?"

"Hey!" I said, defending poor, misunderstood Chris. "The boy just needs someone who cares about him."

"Man, Skyler's right," Timmy said, shaking his head. "The idea of this trip was for us regular scouts to take some Weeblos out on a real camping and fishing trip."

"Yeah, Chris is way too old," Skyler added.

"He's just 14, he'll be fine," I said in my defense. "Besides, he hasn't been able to go on too many other camping trips."

"Thank God," Skyler said, rolling his eyes.

"You just wait and see!" Tim added. "Horsey is nothing but trouble!"

"Yeah, and you're going to be the one to take care of him!" Skyler finished, as I mischieveously thought, "Perfect!"

I was sure the trip was going to be fine. One seventeen year old (me!), two sixteen year old (Skyler and Tim), one fourteen year old (Horsey), and two twelve year old Weeblos (Ned and Mark). And to make sure that Chris didn't act up, I brought along the trusty PADDLE.

It was going to be perfect, or else!

Or at least that's what I thought, until I discovered Horsey had packed along a couple of Playboys in his duffle bag, and stashed some cigerettes. I took them and threw them in the trash. We hadn't even left, and he was pulling this crap!

"_s_h_i_t_, dude!" Horsey said. "That is so uncool."

"I don't want that stuff around Mark and Ned, understand?!" I barked, sounding more and more like Markley, or my Uncle Rod every day.

"You suck!"

That's when I showed him the paddle. "You see this!" I growled. "I can use this if I need to, okay! I had this thing used plenty of times on me, and I won't hesitate using it on your ass!"

"Yeah, whatever," he said, sulking as we got into my car.

Once into the car, I surprised both of us by grabbing him around the top of shirt and pulling him over my lap. There we were in the driveway of his house, and I already had him ready for a spanking!

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!!

I let the paddle fall just three times over the seat of his demim pants. Just enough to make him notice.

"Don't you _f_u_c_k_ing back talk me on this trip," I said, letting him up. Actually (truth be told) he was strong enough that I was afraid that if I had continued on much longer he would have overtook me.

All the way up there, during that long drive, I could tell the little _s_h_i_t_ was plotting something, and that's when the knot in my stomach came to me; _s_h_i_t_! What had I done!! Inviting Horsey to this camping trip was like bringing along a case of dynomite! _s_h_i_t_! What the _f_u_c_k_ had I done???

We got to the campsite without incident. The others had already arrived, so we made ourselves at home and then went looking for them. Chris was still pretty _d_a_m_n_ sore and wanted revenge, and before I knew it he scooped up some fire ants and put them down the back of my pants!

YOUCH!

Just a couple, but they were stinging me like hell, and the only way I could get them out of my clothes was to strip everything off right there on the trail.

Horse convinced me to skinny dip in a near-by stream to wash them away, and then he disappeared with my clothes. This was so embarrassing! Before I knew it, he had gone and found the others and told them I was _f_u_c_k_ing drowing!!

With Mark and Ned watching, Timothy and Skyler quickly jumped in after me, and took my struggles to get away as the thrashings of a drowning man! They punched me in the jaw and hauled me out onto the bank. I lay there a long time before I came to my senses and realized that I was the center of attention and needed some clothes!

When I explained what had happened, Skyler gave me a serious "I told you so" look on his face. Tim kind of laughed about it, and even reminded Skyler of the time HIS clothes were swiped when he went skinny dipping with Horse year earlier.

"That was so cool!" Chris laughed. "I was only nine at the time, but I was able to spank your ass!" Mark and Ned laughed in hysterics as Chris told that whole story, and then followed it by the time Benny had spanked me!

UGH! What a little bastard!!

As I put on my clothes, Skyler just shook his head and glared at me. "He is YOUR responsibility!" he snapped, as they all made their way back to the camp.

I trailed behind with Horsey. "I guess we're even now, huh?" I said.

"Ah, no _f_u_c_k_ing way, man!" he laughed. "That was just the beginning."

"What do you mean?"

"You heard me, ass-wipe!" Chris said, stopping on the trail. "This weekend your ass belongs to me!"

"Excuse me!" I was furious. I don't care how hot the little _s_h_i_t_, there was no way I would take being talked to like that by a snivelng little 14 year old.

"You heard me! If you don't do everything I say this weekend, I'm tellin' all of them, and the entire scout troop, that you exposed yourself to me..."

"WHAT!"

"...and that you molested me!" I couldn't believe what I had just heard. Before I could answer, he turned and ran after the other four. "Hey! Wait for me! Don't leave me alone with this perv!"

I shook my head and followed quietly, wondering if he really would go ahead with his threats.

The rest of that first day went off without incident, and so into the night things seemed to be pretty cool. I decided not to mention anything about his threat, as we shared the same tent that night. Maybe he was just blowing smoke up my ass, I figured. I was hoping the next day would be fine.


More stories byApple Butt