David had a hard time getting to sleep that night. The pain from the welts his dad had painted on his legs and butt that evening kept throbbing. He could still taste that awful Ivory soap hours after he had finally been alowed to take that nasty bar out of his mouth. His dad had never allowed him to rinse it out, nor eat anything to cover up the taste. His stomach growled from hunger, he had had nothing to eat since lunch. Normally he ate enough for someone twice his size.
But more than the physical discomfort, it was the psychic discomfort that kept him awake. His life seemed shattered. His home no longer felt safe and secure to him. At school he knew he would face endless ridicule from his peers. His dad had said that he was doing this "because" he loved him, and that it was for his own good. Right now however, he was not feeling very loved.
He was afraid. Afraid that nobody loved him. Afraid that perhaps he was not worthy of being loved. Most of all he was afraid of the week to come.
He thought about what his dad had said. About his being ashamed of his actions. About being good and you can earn back priviledges, but any further bad behavior would deepen and prolong his punishment. Priviledges like the right to have his pants and underwear pulled up when he was not at school. So far he had tried to be good, to do everything his dad said, but he had still just messed up over and over and dug him self in deeper.
He thought about what his dad had said about making good decisions. The first decision his dad wanted him to make was what he would be spanked with the next morning. To him a good choice would be a feather. He knew full well that that was not what his dad ment. Bringing down something easy on his butt would only make his dad mad. That had to be avoided at all costs. Even worse, if he did that his dad would have absolutely no respect for him.
GOD, how he wanted his dad's respect. He knew he would have to earn it. Given the hole he was in now, it would not come cheaply. He would have to earn it with his ass. Bravery, humility and contrition were the only things he could use to win that respect. He would have to act brave, but how could he when he was so afraid?
He twisted and turned, his butt was still killing him hours after the whipping was through. How could he take another dose of that switch? He couldn't, yet he knew he would probably have no choice tomorrow night. For the morning he had to choose. Until this evening he had no experience with being hit with anything other than his dad's hand. He had just learned how much a thin little three foot long stick could hurt. He thought of all sorts of items and wondered how bad they would hurt.
He knew some of his friends got spanked, and tried to remember what they got hit with. Most of his friends did not go into great details about their punishment, mostly they were embarrased by them. If they did talk about it, none of them were exactly advertising that implement as a great thing to be punished with. He knew that Jeff got spanked with a paddle his dad had made for him with holes in it, but David didn't have a paddle (yet, dad had made clear that that would change by Saturday night). Jimmy had once mentioned being spanked by his grandfather with a yard stick, would that be enough to satisfy his dad? What about a ping pong paddle? A fly swatter? David thought about each, and rejected them in turn. Finally he drifted off to sleep at 3AM, without having made a decision.
To be continued