Robin Hood's Restaurant


by Hazer

This is for Pete. Thanks.

So, uh - I'm a 27 year old ad exec who, ok, i like guys butts. I'll admit it. Yeah, I'm gay. No big deal, isnt that huge a drama in my life. My friends and family are cool, and I seem to be able to win everyone else over with my _c_o_c_k_y charm. I'm pretty masculine (no, I didnt say "straight-acting" cause that's a little homophobic) so I tend to pass in certain situations. Not that I care. Anyway...

I should also mention that I have some kinky tastes. We'll get into that a littlelater.

My friend Pete is a forty-something health care worker who shares my interest in certain, uh fetishes. For this story it's important to note that Pete and I both have bubble butts. I dont mean round, i mean BUBBLE. Two big round cheeks of butt. They stick out. Begging to be kneaded, tapped and especially spanked. All my life, in the locker room or out in the town, someone feels the need to slap my butt. It's a very inviting target. Pete's is the same. We refer to our selves as the Bubble Butt Buddies. Pete's bi, but can appeciate a nice beefy ass like me.

So it was to my extreme joy that they opened a theme restaurant in the small city I live in. One of our major attractions is the university, and a lot of the employees we found out were going to be members of the college football and wrestling teams. The restaurant was one of the sponsors of some of their charity events and offered them all jobs to help with tuition.

The restaurant was called Robin Hood's Restaurant. Bubble butt in tights. My favorite thing besides Italian food. I was there. Pete wholeheartedly agreed. And we took one Friday night and checked the place out.

God help me and my boner as I walked in. The place was decorated up like a medeival castle and the other half like Sherwood Forest. A couple of waitresses were dressed like Maid Marian, not my cup of tea. But the waiters, maitre d', and busboys....oh man. I recognized some of them from the televised university games. Our jaws dropped. Huge beefy athletes, dressed in short brown jackets that did not cover their butts. And legs, packages and beefy buns stuffed into emerald green tights. I'm talking butts you could shelve a beer mug on. And the best part? They all had this slight blush of embarrassment like they knew how ridiculous they looked, and how much of their bodies was being shown off by their mortifying costumes. It was my dream come true. Beefy embarrassed jocks. If only I could have brought a paddle!

So, the maitre-d ("Tim") a short stocky wrestler type seated us, and if mine and Pete's eyes weren't glued to his flexing buttcakes in their tight green prison, I would be lying. We were seated, looked at each other and started laughing. It was like a strip club for dudes like us. I swear, you could hear our boners knocking on the underside of the table. We hardly even talked, we were so transfixed by the scene around us. It was like Hooters for bubble butt enthusiasts.

As I looked around, I noticed something interesting. Most of the other parties were made up of college students. Namely sorority girls, and fellow athletes of the sheepish jock waiters. And they were their for one reason - to give their friends and boyfriends the maximum amount of humiliation possible.

In ten minutes, I noticed the following occurences -

A trio of college dudes were giving _s_h_i_t_ to their friend who was a waiter, one knocked a spoon off the table on purpose. When their blonde, beefy butt waiter bent over to pick it up - the swarthy jock type seated beside him stuck three fingers directly up the waiter's defenseless buttcrack. Causing him to "Yeow!", grab his butt, and stand directly on his tip-toes! Which made his rump shimmy like jello as it was lifted on his tiptoes, bottom raising. The table burst out laughing about the goosing. And the redfaced waiter administered a swift dopeslap to his chortling friend. "Nice pantyhose, Fitzie" his friend replied.

Two waiters were searching a large party of sorority girls who had one point, started smacking their butts with their hands whenever the waiters turned around. You should have seen these guys' ample bun cakes jiggle, as they whirled around in embarrassment.

That was also when I noticed two things...one, the waiters had tight green thongs on under their tights. Presumably so on one could get a glimpse of their _c_o_c_k_ and balls. Which had to have been even more humiliating cause to most jock athletes, any butt intrusion besides their doctors usually makes them fearful of instant homo_s_e_x_uality. Beefcake in thongs comes in second to beefcake in tights. The other thing was that I noticed the whole restaurant was systematically harassing these guys with spanks, gooses, and even the occasionally wedging of their thong deeper in their buttcracks. You could hear soft yelps of humiliation from these embarrassed athletes over the entire restaurant. It was a dream come true.

Even Pete and I got into the act. Just a little. When our waiter, a huge black haired football lineman named Andy bent down to put our tray of drinks down, we each slapped him on the rear end. I got the left cheek, Pete took the right. He straighted up, rubbing his butt.

"Dudes! What the hell was that for?" he asked, not angry but just surprised at the fact that the only two respectable looking adults in the place were joining in on the fun.

"Sorry, everyone else is doing it!" I said, pointing to the table beside us where an entire fraternity was helping give a wedgie to their friend Ron, who's package I noticed, looked bigger and more fuller as the embarrassing pouch of his thong tightened around it. They had pulled him out of his soft lowcut brown boots, and his tighted toes were curling with the sensation of the spandex buttfloss being rudely tugged into his buttcrack. He moaned as the frat burst into laughter, raising their beermugs to Ronnie's first day on the job! They completed the task by actually hanging the helpless Ronnie on the antlers of the stuffed moose head on the wall behind them by his wedgie! He hung there, swinging and moaning, feet kicking, helpless like a big burly puppet secured by his butt and going nowhere.

"Dudes, let me down! Im gonna get fired!" he pleaded, red-faced and shifting his butt in discomfort. No one did anything except throw a dinner roll at him which bounced off his package. Oh and take a Polaroid.

Andy marked us with a look, and ambled away. Muttering something about "how no tuition was worth this crap..." Pete and I looked at each, enjoying our boners and clenching our own buttcheeks. Little did we know our humiliation was going to be about ten times the kind these waiters were enjoying.

So, it all started when Pete and I discovered we had both forgotten our wallets. Pete, you got money? Nope. You? Nada. _s_h_i_t_. And after a quick walk around the restaurant, discovering there was no ATM. We were screwed. It was with sheepish grins that we informed Andy one of us had to go home and get his wallet.

"Oh you mean, you blokes cant pay?" Andy asked, a look of amusement crossing his face.

"Oh NO! We can pay! We just forgot our wallets!" I stammered noticing that the restaurant was closing around us.

Andy smirked and went off and got the manager. Who was also an assistant coach of the wrestling team at the University. He was big, brawny like a red-haired slab of concrete. His name was Dan. He was also dressed in tights...but his were gray and he was more dressed to look like the Sherrif of Nottingham. His butt was hugged by those tights, pressing his buns together. He and Andy were smiling at us as they approached.

"So, you varlets cant pay, eh?" he said.

"No, this is some mistake, we can pay. We just forgot our wallets. One of us will stay here. And the other will drive back to their place and get his." Pete said clear-headedly. He's the mature one. I merely must of looked panicked and was unable to take my eyes off Dan's package, swathed in his gray pantyhose. Man, it was big.

"Sorry, sir. We have a strict punishment policy for people who cant pay." Pete and I both looked at each other and mouthed the words "punishment"? I think I audibly gulped and shifted in my seat.

"Yeah. You two are gonna get punished. Much like the Sherrif of Nottingham's men would routinely be captured and punished by Robin Hood's men".

I noticed two things. The only people left in the restaurant were me, Pete, and a phalanx of jock waiters and manager Dan. The other was that more of the waiters had heard of our situation and were milling around, grinning. I think they knew what we were in for.

"So, I either call the police, or you two buttheads submit to us for the evening." Dan said, all friendly like. There was no malice here. Just goodnatured revenge for what the waiters had gone through tonight. I noticed in the background, two waiters finally letting Ronnie off his wedgie prison with a lot of laughter.

What was to become of us?

"So, uh, Dan, what are you going to do to us?" and with that mine and Pete's fate was sealed. Cause I knew these guys werent going to hurt us. And I had a boner because I had an idea of what we might be going through. Our dream come true.

Dan looked at Andy and smirked.

"Well, boys, there's two parts. The first part is the punishment for being unable to afford your meal. And the second part is to wait on us. It's Friday night and we need two beer wenches for our after-dinner rush unwinding right here."

Pete and I looked at each other. We had never waited tables in our lives.

But before we had a chance to protest, the unthinkable happened. Dan reached over with his meaty paws, and grabbed mine and Pete's noses between his fingers!

"Oh!" Pete said, as he pulled us out of our seats.

"D'oh! Bait!" I said, nose clenched shut. It didnt hurt exactly, but man, was it embarrassing. Like your older brother would do to ya when your parents werent home. We felt like embarrassed little boys.

He stood us up in front of him. Looked at us, the other waiters had gathered around, arms folded, smirking in approval. He let go of our noses, which we both rubbed.

"Ok, men, drop trou!" he said expectantly.

Pete and I looked at each other.

"No WAY!" Pete said, I nodded my head vigorously.

Dan looked at us menacingly. Now Pete and I are not small guys, we can take care of ourselves...but I gotta say, we were both into this. Plus, we didnt want the police involved for the non-payment of our meal. So we looked at each other and sheepishly undid our pants. And dropped em to our ankles. I was mortifed cause I noticed we were both wearing our really tight blue bikinis that we liked to spank each other in. They hugged our butts and packages like you wouldnt believe.

"Nice speedos, buttplugs!" Andy said, pointing and laughing. Mine and Pete's buns clenched in embarrassment. We must of looked so dumb. Standing their side by side, blue butt to blue butt. I thanked God we hadnt worn our thongs.

Dan looked satisfied.

"Ok, over my lap." He had pulled a chair away from one of the tables. And seated his big brawny rump on it. He slapped his legs, swathed in their gray nylon.

"L-lap?" I stuttered.

"B-both of us?" Pete said, looking at me in alarm.

No answer, just Dan grabbing us by our noses again, and YANKING us, asses up, over his lap. Our butts, now raised, two perfect spankable targets. We looked at each other, now moaning in embarrassment.

"Ready for your spankings, boys?" Dan asked sweetly, and the rest of the crowd of waiters cheered!

"You cant do this to us! We're respected professionals!" Pete yelled.

"Yeah, professional jackasses." Tim, the maitre'd cracked, and everyone laughed except PEte and I.

Dan was now rubbing our butts, warming them up for what was to come.

"Please dont!" I yelled, and I could feel my boner suddenly rear up and say hi! Dan pressed our butts together, kneading them like dough! Pete and I moaned and our faces with our hands.

"Now, say we will never try to chew and screw again!" Dan instructed in a sing-songy voice like you would to a little kid.

Pete and I didnt say anything, still in erotic shock. I could only imagine the scene. Two grown men, over this twentysomething man's lap like two bad little boys. Blue bikinis raised invitingly, just inviting slaps to these two bobbling butts. Our legs dangling behind us. Our red faces in front of us. Surrounded by huge athletes dressed like Robin Hood, swathed in tights and short jackets.

SPANK!

"OW!" Pete yelled, and then I got one on my ass.

SPANK!

"OH MAN! PLEASE!" I said. Dan's hand was like a slab of wood. It smacked into our bouncing buttcheeks, making us clench them, flex them, wriggle them - anything to escape the pain!

Suffice to say, as he played our butts like bongos, we repeated everything he told us to say. We would never chew and screw again! We were jackass buttheads! We were two little girls who liked getting their bottoms spanked! Our boners must have clued him into that one.

The most humiliating moment, besides the burning in our rear ends after his relentless barrage of spanks which had us moaning and groaning and pleading, were the apples. Yeah, Dan decided we were making two much noise, and told us we needed to stop squealing like little piggies. So he got two whole apples off a roasted pork plate behind him. And he stuffed them in our mouths!

"Mrrggh!" said Pete.

"mmpphh! MMrrow!" I said. We must have looked so foolish! Over a guys lap, butt to butt, in blue bikinis, with apples stuffed in our mouths like two roast pigs! Being gagged was so embarrassing.

He finally stopped the spanking, and told us he didnt want to look at our faces anymore. Besides, we had to go to the dressing room to get into our waiter uniforms! We looked at each other, teary eyed, apples corking our mouths like ball gags, and rubbing our swollen beach ball-sized buttcheeks. He made us take off the rest of our clothes! So we were standing their, butt naked except for the apples! Then, and man i cant believe Im telling you this, he took our bikini briefs...and he put mine over Pete's face and Pete's over mine! Wrapping them on tightly and informing us that he made sure to line up the buttcracks with our noses so we could enjoy the fragrant stench of our buddy's ass!

Luckily Pete and I are clean dudes, but we both got to enjoy the manly musk of the other dudes buttcrack and his buttsweat from after our spankings. Plus, we had to keep our gags in.

"Mmmrrppp!" Pete said as his face was wrapped in my underwear!

"MMMppphhhh!" I said, as my mug was wrapped with Pete's bikini briefs.

So here we both were, bareass, apples stuffed in our mouths so we couldnt speak beyond muffled grunting and our faces wrapped in each other's tight spandex underwear! And with red, red behinds to boot! We couldnt see a thing. Which was made worse when Dan, Tim, and Andy tied our hands behind our backs with dinner napkins from one of the tables.

"Ok, buttplugs, your mission is to make it to the mens room where we have your waiter uniforms laid out. You got five minutes. If you dont make it in time, you get your butts spanked again. And plugged this time. Go!"

Plugged? *Gulp*!


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