Cal,
OK, its like 9 oclock right now and Sunday. It is pouring down cats and dogs and its cold too. I havent ever written before but Ive thought about it Ill admit. I want to talk about all of this and Id like some feedback minimum I hope youll write back. Ive been reading your stuff for years now. I find it addictive. Its me. Your stuff often has warnings or maybe the word is just major cautions about who youre with and differences with S&M and all that stuff but being around a contolling sort of guy like you is something Ive always dreamed about finding. I dont even know where you are, but Im in school and never got up enough never to write and ask you either. Maybe it was that Ive been open to it or maybe its something deeper. I think deeper. I think it was helped along by the fact that Im younger and am the type guys find attractive and always try to talk to when Im out, but awhile ago I met a guy whos older and good looking and tall and distinguished and all and it was a weekend and after we talked a lot I went home with him on that Friday night and ended up wanting to go home with him something he made it obvious he wanted too. I had just enough wine coolers in that bar and was just enough into myself and not wanting to waste anymore time that with it being dark and all in the car that when he asked me what I was looking for I blurted it out and told him! I never admitted it before to anyone but that night I did. I told him I wanted to be someones boy and to be told what I was going to do what and when but I wanted someone who just didnt want my ass but someone who wanted it and also someone who would spank me real. He looked surprised and looked me over in the dark car a really long time. I was nervous as hell cause we were alone in his car on the way to his place. All he said and Ill never forget it either was I think I can arrange that. Nothing else was said in that car on the way to his place. That was the start of it all and I dont regret anything I did! . I wan ted someone to take control of me and take my ass anytime he wanted it, but in return I wanted someone who wasnt into crappy role play or anything like that. I wanted him to spank my ass and make me his. I wanted it for real and I wanted to bawl my eyes out over a guys knees like Id thought about for years.
After I said it, it got so quiet in that car! Every bad thought in my mind hit me and I almost chickened out but he looked Ok and even nice in that older guy sort of way and I had all weekend until I had to be back to school. Why not ask him to really spank me like I wanted him to? Hell, Id dreamed about it for years and dreamed I was Larry or Justin so now I wanted to live it for real.
When we got inside his place, he didnt bother to show me around but I clearly remember his asking me You know if I spank you tonight youre going to cry your pretty eyes out? I remember telling him only that I knew that was part of it and it was up to him to handle me as he wanted to. He seemed to really like that and he asked me if Id like something to drink? This time I asked for the hard stuff. I really wanted a strong drink! He said hed get it and told me to go in the room and he wanted me stripped and naked when he got there.
I did it. I took off my Levis and Shirt and my Sock and Shoes even my Watch and I was stripped naked right away. When Im out I never bother with underware. I like the feel of my tight Levis on my bare ass when I walk. I wasnt wearing underwear that night. I stood there in that huge living room and dining room kind of room feeling really stupid being naked like that and all andwaiting bare. I felt so nervous I even folded all my clothes and put them on the couch real neat like something Ive never done at my place but I just did it. I remember the curtains in that room were open and that didnt help me feel any better either, but I just stood there naked anyway like he told me to.
I remember it felt like hours but all of a sudden he stood there looking at me standing there naked. The way he looked at me brought shivers to my spine really. He had the drink I asked for in his hand but he also had a paddle! Hey I hadn't asked for that and I didn't think you gave the paddle to Larry or Justin the first time but this wasn't you and if he was going to paddle my ass then that was what I was in for. I wanted a man to decide these things not me but still I was suddenly scared. He put the paddle and my drink down on a small table and I remember him asking me if I wanted my drink right then or later. I admit it. I gulped in down right then. Ive never been naked in front of a man who held a paddle in his hand.
He made me stand still and told me to put both my hands on my head and keep them there and be still and all and he went over my body like a military inspection and his hands went EVERYWHERE too. OK maybe Im a late bloomer but it was the first time anyone had ever taken my _c_o_c_k_ and balls in their hand while they were flicking my nipples. As I said, Im young. Im 58 139 pounds and last week I just turned 21. I got nothing to be ashamed about in any department but I remember freezing when he turned me around and got to my buns and his fingers started going between them. I really frose so much I remember how he slapped my ass hard and told me to relax. OK, I tried. He seemed to really like me and kept on inspecting me and all until I just got more and more nervous and rock hard in my _c_o_c_k_. I was dreaming of Larry and knowing you were going to give me a spanking. I was hot and I dont mind admitting it. I was in my dreaming until I remember his telling me to look at him and when I did Ill never forget his words Youve needed this for a long time, son, Im going to give you a spanking now. I think it was his use of the word son like you use but with his hand on my ass and other hand on my _c_o_c_k_ I almost shot it all. He sat on a straight backed chair and spanked me. He spanked me hard right from the front and it really stung and shocked me too but at first it was just with his hand. He didnt limit it to that and I felt that paddle really spanking my ass and hard. He was determined to make me cry and I didnt disappoint him.
I dont know how long I cried or how long he spanked and paddled me but I was broken down for sure and ultimately I began struggling and begging too. He didnt stop either.
When he finally did stop, He hugged me a lot and had his hands all over me and youd never believe how hot my ass felt and I was sweating all over. He took me to bed and yea I cried in his arms and fell to sleep that way. It was awesome!
I ended up spending the weekend in a silk robe he let me use the next morning and we never left his place until he drove me back to school Sunday evening. My ass was so red I was worrying about my roommate! We did what he said that weekend and anytime I hesitated or even just didnt hear him, I got my ass spanked. I dont remember how many I got that first weekend but I got major ones Saturday night and Sunday afternoon too. He liked my tight Levis and especially liked that without any underwear my ass was more quickly accessible. I loved the feel of those Levis on my ass after he spanked me but most of the weekend I was limited to that robe or nothing at all.
We exchanged phone numbers and he began checking on me. He took to telling me what I was to do, but Ill admit my grades and motivation went up so I was all for it. Wed go to dinner and some times hed monitor (he called it that) my studying. It was definitely motivating too because the paddle would be sitting there too. He timed me on things and rewarded (he really called it that) my ass if things werent right when the timer bell went off. He knew how to crack my ass good and he got into it too. One night he took me to an adult shop without telling me where we were going and he bought a pair of shackels and wrist chains. I was so embarrassed that time because he told me out loud in the store that when he spanked my ass he wanted better control of me. Wow I was so embarrassed and I could feel my forehead just burning up with fever because here I was a good looking student with an older guy buying wrist and ankle cuffs and chains and talking about spanking my ass too. I know the others there heard him say that too and I got looks that really embarrassed me and when we got home he pulled down my Levis and put them on my wrists and ankles real short and really spanked me. Some weekends I have to wear them naked in the house but when they are loose they dont restrict me much at all. Its the idea and knowing hes going to be doing whatever he wants. Thats what I want. He really likes to inspect me too and he does it to me a lot.
But Im talking too much. Hes been in charge of me for awhile and Im fine with that. I got home about an hour ago from spending the weekend with him and my ass is red and hot like he likes to keep it. He spanked me today because I hadnt finished a report that due Tuesday. It was my own fault because he told me to have it done by this weekend. I just couldnt so I spent what he calls quality time over his knees and got my ass spanked real good and long until I was bawling and all. I like the regularness of his control and really turn on to it. But now Im looking to graduate soon and I want to ask something Ive been wanting to ask for a long time now. I spend so much time reading what you write and dreaming so OK here goes. Where do you live and how do I go about finding a 24 7 situation? When I graduate I can work almost anywhere so how about telling me. Id like to be in a real situation full time.
I hope you dont mind me asking. Maybe near you or someone you know whos real?
Jules
May 18, 2003