Comments of Dr. Jeffrey Keller on Creative Punishments to Winslow Pta

by Jeffrey R Keller, Md <>

[this is the second of a series of discussions being held to address the problem of growing teenage vandalism and disobedience with the Winslow PTA]

Thank you for inviting me back to this PTA meeting. I must say I was surprised, if not a bit overwhelmed by the number of emails that I received from those of you at the last meeting and from those who heard about the last meeting. That might explain the fact that it looks like the number of parents here this evening is about double the last meeting. I take this as a sign of both your interest and in the severity of the problem that we are dealing with. I speak, of course, about the use of Corporal Punishment. At our last meeting, I talked at length about the need to have control and that the emphasis should not be on the pain of the spanking as much as on the embarrassment and humiliation. I say this because, in my opinion, if you use pain as the sole determinator of the punishment then we run the risk of inflicting too much pain and crossing the line between punishment and abuse. It was in response to this problem of pain as a measure of punishment that led to the movement away from Corporal Punishment. Today, we understand that Corporal Punishment –Spanking— is not about the pain as much as it is about the embarrassment and humiliation of the punishment, which we multiply by making the punishment into a ritual that forces our son to participate in his own humiliation. In short, we minimize the risk of abuse by maximizing the embarrassment.

That is not to say that there is no pain. There is. As we discussed, the only way to administer a proper spanking is on a bare bottom. In order to maximize the embarrassment and humiliation I administer all spankings to my sons with them naked. Myself, I prefer hand spanking. I think the skin-to-skin method enhances the humiliation while minimizing too much pain. However, I realize that some of you still think pain plays a role and are still fond of the use of spanking implements. I noticed the circular that came in the mail from Winslow Hardware announcing that they now carry an array of punishment tools from paddles to canes. I will only caution you that once you move to implements then you must carefully judge the amount of pain you are administering whereas with your hand, you have much less risk of going too far. I always leave my sons in tears after their punishment even though I know the pain is not what is prompting the tears. And I always hug them afterwards so they know their punishment was administered with love, not hate. And it for that reason that I discourage immediate punishment. Never punish when angry.

For those of you that do not believe hand spanking is sufficient, I would suggest that there are ways to maximize the sting without going to implements.

There is the area on a boys backside known as the sweetspot. The sweetspot is that area where the buttox curves to the thigh that brings the nerves closest to the skin surface. An experienced spanker knows that the same intensity of spanking generates far more stinging pain when focused on the sweetspot. If you are looking for screaming reaction, focus on the sweetspot. The curving toward the anus also brings the nerves closer to the surface. If you make your son spread his legs, you can better address that sensitive area. Sons instinctively know to protect this area and also try to keep their anus hidden out of shame. Since we want to maximize humiliation, you want him to keep his legs spread exposing not only his anus but also those sensitive inner thighs and inner buttock area.

But what do you do when you feel the need to intensify the level of punishment? You can use implements, of course. You can either invest in a made-to-use implements such as those offered at Winslows or you can use trusty household items such as the ping pong paddle, wooden spatula, hair brush or belt. Again, I counsel against moving to these kinds of implements unless you are able to gauge your use of force. Sometimes, the answer lies not in going to greater pain through implements but to finding other sweetspots.

For example, not too long ago, my older son went to play with a boy he is forbidden to play with at his house where he was forbidden to go and tried to cover up this serious misdeed by lying about it. However, his plan was exposed when he and his friend were caught trying to steal candy. He told us he was going to another boys house to study for his upcoming Science test which as it turns out he should have because he got a less than satisfactory grade on that test.

Clearly, my son knew if he was caught, he would be punished. However, he wrongly thought his chances of getting caught slim. It was my conclusion since he knew that getting caught would result in a spanking that he had weighed the odds and consequences and went with the odds. My judgment then was to raise the consequences.

Upon entering his room after he had showered and was in his robe, I ordered him out of his robe and had him stand in front of me, his knees touching my knees as we always do. He stood naked, hands behind him in Parade Rest position, legs apart. I told him that since he had engaged in a multitude of serious offenses that he was not going to receive his classic over-the-knee spanking. I also informed him that his punishment would also include a punishment enema on Saturday morning, though at the time he was not aware of the type of enema I was planning.

Boys hate enemas. They are degrading. The cramping is most uncomfortable and depending on the recipe that you use can make them stay close to a toilet for the next several hours. However, for his spanking, I ordered him to lay on his back on his bed. He has a twin-sized bed which is located far enough away from the wall so you can access the bed from either side. Once on the bed, I told him he was going to receive an inner thigh spanking. For this method of punishment, I had him grasp the headboard with his left hand, raise his left leg so he was knee-up, foot down position and spread his legs wide. With his right hand, I had him grasp his genitals and pull them to his left and protected from my smacks. I then proceeded to smack at 3 second intervals the most sweet of sweetspots....his inner thigh. He received 25 on his right, then he shifted legs and received 25 on his left. That was two and half minutes of increasingly sharp pain. To add to the humiliation, I ordered him to keep his eyes open and looking at me or that smack would not count. This was the first time he ever experienced an inner-thigh spanking and it was one that I have chosen to use with increasing frequency to raise the consequences of deliberate disobedience. Incidentally, with his hand over genital position, as he reacted to the smacks to his thigh, he unconsciously squeezed his penis and ended up with quite an erection upon completion, a subject which I want to discuss at some length, no pun intended, shortly. And after we concluded this spanking, he also received the traditional over-the-knee spanking.

I mentioned briefly the use of punishment enemas. Nothing strikes dread in the heart of a boy more than seeing that enema bag come out. I dont know if any of you have ever experienced an enema. Many of you ladies may have since enemas are often given prior to child delivery and some of you men may have in the hospital, or at the hands of your grandparents. No matter the reason, it is nevertheless a very humiliating experience to be on the receiving end, especially if you are a boy near or in puberty.

With my boys, it is not only receiving the enema that is the punishment. He is informed on the Friday night review session that the enema is going to be administered on Saturday morning. That weighs heavy on his Friday evening and Saturday morning breakfast. Enemas can be of many recipes. Myself, I prefer to use Ivory soap. The reason is that Ivory is pure soap with no perfumes or harsh chemicals found in typical deodorant soaps. I administer a one-quart enema for my older, 13 year old boy and half-quart to my 6 year old. Now, you can use other soaps such as Castille available at our local drug store. Castille also sells a very effective peppermint soap which will enhance stomach cramping. However, I prefer Grandmas recipe of Ivory soap. The degree of concentration of the soap will determine the level of cramping and usually duration my son will be able to hold it. The other factor is the temperature of the water. The hotter, the more intense the cramping. To determine both, I use my hand to indicate mixture and temperature. I prepare the mixture in your standard Rubbermaid plastic pitcher. I fill the pitcher with only hot water, drop the cake of Ivory and then stir with a wooden spoon. I select a mixture between total white-out to one in which I can see my finger an inch down in the pitcher. The whiter the mixture, the more intense the cramping. The water temperature should never be hotter than your wrist can tolerate. Let it cool or add an ice cube.

For my boys, I have a hook located in the ceiling above their bed. I have a rope tied to the enema bag and I control height by adjusting the rope. I prefer a height of two feet above the rectum. I place two pillows in the center of the bed and have my son kneel behind the pillows and resting his body on his elbows. This puts his body in a slightly declined position from rear to head enhancing the solution delivery. The typical enema tube has a control valve that has 3 positions from partially open to full open. Typically, I start the flow at the partial open position so the solution goes in slowly. This allows his intestine to more easily accept the invasion of the solution before the battle of the cramping begins. Usually, near the end I open it up wide.

I lube my son prior to the enema, not the enema nozzle itself. I also prefer to use KY warming gel as opposed to petroleum jelly. Petroleum products tend to be hard to clean and can harbor bacteria as a result. I use a latex glove and some KY to coat the inner anal passage of my son. I insert one coated finger about an inch inside of him and twist it slowly to coat his anal passage. This also adds to his humiliation and also makes it easier for him to grasp and hold on to the nozzle because there is not too much grease. I usually coat his anal passage before he mounts the bed, having him stand at the side of the bed and bend over placing his elbows on the bed, legs apart. I use KY warming only because the warming sensation tends to overcome a boys natural tendency to clamp his sphincter closed. The slight heat sensation tends to make him open up. I also do not use one of the two nozzles that come with the enema bag, though if I had to, I would choose the douche because of its more bulbous shape. I use a nozzle that I purchase from an Internet supply house that has a soft, arrow head shape at the top which makes it easier for my son to clutch. They sell a variety of nozzles now, some that are wide and offer a more satisfying surface for the sphincter to grasp and others that direct the flow in a particular direction so you can use it to bathe the prostate. This gives the enema a more medicinal value but will also subject your son to an uncontrollable raging erection.

While I start my son in a knees and elbow position, he usually ends up stretching out as the cramping commences. That is ok. I have the pillows under him for him to rest his chest so that he does not put pressure on his lower abdomen so that the solution can be more easily accommodated.

Of course, a punishment enema is all about cramping. The battle that results as your sons colon fights the harshness of the soapy solution. I try to ease the solution in completely before he has to deal with cramping. Depending upon whether he is regular or not, this can usually be done by slowly administering the enema. If I am successful in that, I will remove the nozzle, make him stand with bloated stomach and face the mirror on his closet door and then lecture him on mis-deed that earned him this punishment. Usually gravity caused by standing will also begin the cramping. I will then allow him to return to his bed and lie on his side, making him turn from side to side to make sure the solution fully invades his colon. Most boys will assume a natural, fetal position to assist in solution retention. Afterall, this is not only a punishment but also does have medicinal value. If his cramping becomes too severe, I will allow him to go purge on the toilet, but otherwise my goal is go make him hold it for 15 minutes. You can usually tell if that is not going to be possible. Sometimes, I will reinsert the nozzle to give his sphincter something to grasp to help hold back the cramping.

I have mentioned previously the use of solutions other than soap. For extreme punishments, I will use a solution of warmed milk (3 cups) and 4 teaspoons of warmed molasses. Being able to hold this solution for more than 4 minutes is usually impossible and after administered, I make my boy immediately stand by the toilet. This solution will cause harsh, gut wrenching cramps for 6 to 8 hours and leave his abdomen so sore he will feel like he was punched in the gut by a boxer using weighted gloves. It will leave him writhing in agony on his bed and toilet for a day-and-a-half at least unless I choose to shorten the punishment by 3 warm water rinse enemas. I dont. A boy who endures this punishment will think more significantly of the consequences of his actions in the future. After all, it comes down to giving your son the ability to make a reasoned decision on his own and weighing the consequences of negative behavior. If you want to see a demon turned angel, try this recipe on him once.

I have heard Reverend Sloan talk about deviant masturbation. Frankly, as a physician, I do not concur completely with his values on this. Those of us in the medical community see masturbation as not only a natural thing but also a necessary method of helping a boy control hormones and encourage normal _s_e_x_ual function. Nevertheless, I understand the religious grounds taken on this subject and also do recognize that masturbation usually leads to or encourages the use of pornography or impure thoughts during the act. I have heard Reverend Sloan advocate the controlling of masturbation through the use of scrotum spankings. I do not encourage this form of punishment simply because the testis are so vulnerable to damage. However, for those of you who are followers of the Reverend Sloan or some of the other religious leaders who agree with Reverend Sloan I would suggest that to give scrotum spankings you do so by having your son lay on his back feet tilted back to his head holding them with his hands behind the knees and using a rubber spatula, not a wooden one. I would advise using it in sling-shot fashion.....holding the spatula two inches from his scrotum pulling it back with one hand while your push forward with at the handle as you would a slingshot and then releasing so it slaps against the scrotum. I would suggest that you do this no more than five times, at fifteen second intervals.

I think I have covered more than enough this evening. I will now entertain questions from the audience. Those of you who would prefer to contact me privately can do so at Pedprac@yahoo. com. Please indicate if you do not want me to mention your name should I choose to discuss your query at the next meeting of the PTA.

At our next meeting, we will discuss the issue of privacy and why your boys should not have it, how to enforce it and other ways of maintaining a disciplined home.

Thank you very much.

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