By fourth grade, corporal punishment was nothing new to Charlie and me. We had the grab ankles routine down pat! Our names were signed, side-by-side, on the paddles of many teachers in our fundamentalist christian school. But, we hadn't met up with Mr. Jenney until that very memorable day in fourth grade!
Our offenses were never terrible misdeeds. We were more the prankish types. Although, we would often test authority and break the bounds of school rules just for the sake of it! It was kind of a badge of your manlihood to take your swats without fear. Usually with your best buddy! Getting into trouble together marked you as best buds; taking your swats together created a bond that no faculty could break!
In the spring of 1973, we had somehow crossed a line that before we had not approached. It wasn't the intent this time. We knew better than to get into so much trouble that you would be sent to Mr. Jenney's office! But, none-the-less, we found ourselves in that very situation.
On the bus trip to school that morning, we had been yelled at by the bus driver for "being disruptive!" The teacher, that same morning had scolded us for "horse-play" in the cloak room. We were basically having our typical day!
Then at lunch recess, Charlie pulled out a pack of cigarettes that he had swiped from his uncle's house.
"Wow!" I said in my coolest fourth grade boy tone. "How'd ya get those?"
Charlie explained to me his act of theft. "Wanna try one?" he asked.
"I never have before. Have you?" I said.
"No" he answered. "I was waiting so that we could try it together" Charlie said.
"Let's do it! But, MAN, you know we better not get caught doing this!" I said with a stern immitation of Mr. Jenney, with his Boston accent..
Mr. Jenney was rather young to have been our school's principal. He was probably no more than 35. He must have been a real jock in school. He was rather large and very muscular. The guys that had felt the awsome force of his paddle quivered when they told their tales of the Jenney paddling that they received.
With a bit of recklessness, Charlie and I lite-up our first smokes! With having only taken a few puffs, followed by numerous coughs, Mr. Jenney walked up to us, hidden behind the school's bus garage and said: "I think you boys had better put those out and come with me!"
Mr. Jenney was very matter of fact about the whole thing! We were scared to death, but of course wouldn't admit it! The Jenney Swats was all I could think about. "He's gonna kill us!" I thought to myself.
Charlie looked pretty pale. But, in that classic Charlie-style, he looked at me and grinned. Then he rubbed his hands on his ass and made a face that said: "You know were gonna get it good!"
We followed Mr. Jenney back into the buidling and up to his office. He told us to wait outside in the waiting room. I remember his secretary looking at us with a look that seemed to be partly made up of disgust and disapproval and partly of utter compansion for immenent demise!
I looked at Charlie. We were both trying to maintain our cool! He was sitting with his right ankle across his left knee, in that manly fashion, wiggling his foot alt the ankle. One of the ankles that he was about to bend-over and grab, I remember thinking to myself!
Then the door to Mr. Jenney's office opened and he said: "Come in here, boys!" This was IT!!!!
Mr. Jenney had in his hand a hole-drilled wooden paddle. It was about two feet long and a half inch thick. Across is were the signatures of all the previous recipients of the Jenney Swats. We were about to become part of this elite group, even if it wasn't exactly what we had wanted.
"I've called your parents and informed them about your smoking. They know that you are being punished severly," he told us, again, very matter-of-factly.
With that news, I think that we both turned completely white. " It wasn't enough to paddle our asses until they'd be sore for three days?" I thought to myself. "You had to call our parents!" I knew I was getting it again when I got home! Any by the look on Charlie's face at that point, he was too.
At least when the teachers had pulled us out into the hall, there was no phone call to our parents. It was: bend-over, take your swats and now behave! But NO -- Mr. Jenney had to ensure that our parents knew!
Then, he said: "Charlie, bend over, place you hands palms down on the desk and count allowed after each swat!" "Well, this was a somewhat new routine," I thought. And then I watched Mr. Jenney raised the paddle high in the air and WHACCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!! I watched the paddle lower rapidly, with force and perfect aim right dead center on Charlie's firm ass! And Charlie said: "One!"
I watched that paddled rise and slam down nine more times. I knew Charlie must have been in agony! And I knew I was next!
After the tenth swat, Mr. Jenney told Charlie to stand up and put his hands on his head. "I don't want to touching your rear and trying to make it feel better!" he said to Charlie.
Then it was my turn. I bent over and placed my palms flat on the desk just as Charlie had done. And WHHHHACCCCKKKKK!!!!! "Man, I've never been paddled like this before! " I thought. The stinging and burning after that first swat was absolutely incredible!!!!! I counted aloud and maintained my composure as much as I could. I took tha other nine and was told to stand up and place my hands on my head.
Then Mr. Jenney lectured us about the evils of smoking. All we could think about was our "smoking asses!"
We signed the paddled and with throbbing, burning asses returned to class! Of course, after school, all of the guys wanted to hear a swat-by-swat replay -- after all-- now were members of the Jenney Swat Team! We had taken it like men; we were best buddies paddled by the best! We were as _c_o_c_k_y as ever!