For the longest time I've tried to figure out why this particular story would never post right...then I took another hard look and figured it out. I am so stupid sometimes. PLEASE! Someone spank me!!
Now, on with the story (PLEASE, I PRAY TO THE POSTING GODS, POST RIGHT THIS TIME!)
***
By now you must think that all Uncle Rod did was wake up, spank us kids, have breakfast, spank us kids, have lunch, spank, dinner, spank, bed. And you would be pretty close too, if that is what you thought. But in reality, Uncle Rod had a secret love.
Christine Mills.
Christine was a divorced mother of a grown son. She and Uncle Rod met when her son was on Rod's swim team years ago (when Chip was still a little gnat). She was married then, but she always seemed to dig Rod White, even if he wasn't really her type.
About a year after the divorece, she made the first move and asked if Rod and Chip wanted to come over for dinner. She thought it would take the edge off of it being a "date" if Rod's son was there, and it would have if cousin Chip hadn't changed his mind at the last second.
Anyway, long story short: those two hooked up. I've never met Christine's son. Whenever he was in town, Christine was scarce. I could always tell that was what was going on because I ended up with a lot more spankings.
Uncle Rod
(minus)
Christine
(equals)
Horny Uncle Rod
(which then equals)
My Sore Bottom.
Simple equation, so I always encouraged Rod to be with his "lady friend" (that's how HE referred to her).
All right, so I know what you're thinking: "What in the hell does this have to do with you getting you ass spanked?" you are thinking. "We know sometime or another you are going to get you rear end tanned hotter-n-hell, so cut the crap and get to it!!"
_f_u_c_k_ing sadists! That's what you all are!!!
All right, here it goes: one night Chip and I had agreed to a night of culture with Uncle Rod and Christine. She had taken us, in the past, to the symphony, the ballet, musicals, plays and various nonsense. Chip and I were usually pretty good, but sometimes we would zone out on the event.
Well, word came down that she was going to take us to the Opera! UGH! The _f_u_c_k_ing OPERA! No way! My only solice was that Chipper was also going to have to endure that _s_h_i_t_ along with me. But, no. To my horror of horror Cousin Chip came downwith a cold.
"I should stay home with him," I said, as Uncle Rod shook his head.
"Chipper is old enough to stay home, but not old enough to watch you," he sneared in that classic Uncle Rod snear-like way.
We get to the concert hall, and I'm fidgeting in the suite. Uncle Rod pulls me aside and gives me one warning: "remember the beach, remember Stuckey's and remember the Circus...I will spank you here if you need it!" Good lord! Does the man ever think about anything else except my ass?!
So, we go to our seats. Good seats, but for what?! A bunch of singing CRAP! I am miserable. I find myself mocking it (I watched too much "Mystery Science Theater 3000," I guess) and every once in awhile dozng off. Uncle Rod elbos me a couple of times - gee, I guees I'm not making a good impression on Christine! Gee! What a _f_u_c_k_ing shame!!! And I really wanted to come to Carmen!
I guess I wasn't concerned because I figured he really wouldn't go ahead and spank me there. At the worst, I might get a swat when I got home before bed, but hell - it seemed like I was ALWAYS getting a swat before bed.
When the second intermission began I knew I was in trouble when Uncle Rod turned to his lady friend and asked her if she had a brush. She knowingly looked at him, then me, then handed him the brush. That was when I was marched out to the men's lounge, where they had long leather sofa's o before you entered the restroom areas.
The line was long, and the old men were lined up through the lounge and out into the lobby. Rod didn't care that we had company, as I pointed out to him in the best, non-whining (but still whining) manner.
Rod made me take off my blazer and unbutton my top button on my pants. Then, in front of about twenty grown men, he unzipped my slacks, and let them fall to the ground. Then he had me hobble over and lay across his knees.
"I think that child is going to get a spanking," one of the old men said, stating the _f_u_c_k_ing obvious.
"I believe you're correct, Edgar," his chum said. Geez! This was worse than the god _d_a_m_n_ circus crowd!
Then, down came the underpants, and up came the shirt tail.
"He's going to get a bare bottom spanking, Edgar," that one ass hole said.
"Gee," mocked Edgar. "What was your first clue?" The men then laughed - _f_u_c_k_ing Edgar, the stand up comic!
SPANK! SPANK! SPANK! SPANK! SPANK!!!
_d_a_m_n_! The first five came down fast, as Christine's hairbrush dd an excellent job of making me squeal and beg and feel very sorry for myself.
SPANK! SPANK! SPANK! SPANK! SPANK!!!
As usual, Uncle Rod ignore my logical arguments of "Oooooh! No more! No more! It HUTRTS! Ooooooooh!" and he kept on giving me more and more...
SPANK! SPANK! SPANK! SPANK! SPANK!!!
...until I collapsed limp, and let him do his work.
SPANK! SPANK! SPANK! SPANK SPANK!!!
I sobbed and sobbed as the men kept up a running commentary that I couldn't really follow; something about when they were boys, and how more kids should be spanked today...don't really remember, though...
SPANK! SPANK! SPANK! SPANK! SPANK!
After two minutes Uncle Rod stopped and helped me up. I rubbed my ass for a second, then becoming modest as I noticed that old perv, Edgar, eyeing my privates, and so I whipped my clothes up. I was then led into the bathroom area, where I was allowed to go pee, and dry my face.
We made it back to the opera in time for the third act (don't want to give anything away, but the bitch died!), where I was a perfect little gentleman. I only shifted in my seat a couple of times, but it had nothing to do with boredom.