How Is it that at Snowden Middle School among the seventh graders cute chubby little Jackie Stevens usually made the honor roll and yet was known as the "bottom of his class"? The obvious explanation is that the title did not pertain to his academic standing. Either it pertained to a special part of Jackie quite outside the process of reading, writing, and arithmetic except that it served quite well as a target for corrective measures whenever his achievement in these processes faltered because of his head's occasionally taking an unscheduled holiday. There was just no denying it: Jackie had a magnificent bottom, and twelve-year-old boys would notice that long before they would ever give thought to his straight white teeth, pleasant soprano voice, or the strikingly attractive combination of his wavy dark-brown hair and very fair, unblemished skin. Except for the very skinny and the very fat or the very ugly, at twelve every boy's bottom gets some attention from his classmates. Jackie's, of course, got a LOT!
Such attention was not always welcomed. Especially in gym class, where Jackie's endowment was most conspicuous. You see, although there were green-andwhite school T-shirts in abundance for the boys, old Coach Kearny in one of his alcoholic stupors had accidentally (?) forgotten to order the mandatory green-and-white shorts; therefore new coach Mack, facing up to the situation, told the boys to be sure to wear white jockey briefs in good condition, because henceforth those would have to serve as their gym pants for this year. And EVERY BOY would have to dress out for class, no excuses allowed. The news was greeted with giggles from some, consternation from others, but all the boys had to accept the new rule, and in time did, or appeared to. As for Jackie, this literally exposed him to more trouble than he would have met with otherwise.
One day, as Jackie had finished "dressing out" and was just closing his locker, he received a very Indiscreet pat followed by a very painful pinch on the right buttock.
"OWW!" Jackie could not help yelling in surprise and pain. By the barest glimpse he turned quickly enough to see blond, blue-eyed Tommy Marshall, whose face was as angelic as his heart was impish, assuming a pose as though he had never done anything and had been just standing there minding his own business. Jackie blushed amid the general laughter.
"What'd you pinch my butt for?! Leave it alone, you little fruit-loop!" he shouted in protest.
"Aw, Jackie," Tommy shot back in a maddening, mocking tone, "would I do a thing like that?"
"You sure would!'." Jackie retorted, and resolving to do something about it this time, he called to a friend of his--a boy with curly light-brown hair, a classically handsome face, and slightly pointed ears that gave him the look of a faun:
"Come on, Chris, let's pants Tommy!"
Chris Fleming, standing just on the other side of Tommy, looked up with interest, then said with a smile, "'But, Jackie, he's already pantsed."
"Then let's 'debrief' him!"
"OK, you 're on!"
Caught without an avenue of escape, Tommy struggled valiantly but in vain. Within three minutes his new Sears underpants were off and. all his lower body, front and rear, from waist to ankles was exposed and vulnerable from all quarters. Tommy found himself at a terrible disadvantage: Jackie and. Chris rolled and tied Tommy's underpants into a "ball" and played keep-away with them. As soon as Tommy approached one of them, that adversary would toss the underpants to the other; as soon as Tommy wheeled around to go after the other, the one just abandoned would give Tommy's bare bottom a hard smack. This situation, Tommy quickly realized, would be hopeless without some new strategy. Very well, then, if they wanted to create embarrassment, misery would get some company!
Jackie caught the "ball" from Chris and saw Tommy approaching. Feeling very cute indeed, Jackie turned and danced away, sending the prize to Chris with a fancy toss over his left shoulder. This gave Tommy just the opportunity he had been waiting for. Forgetting about his own underpants for the moment, Tommy seized the fabric of Jackie's single-seat underpants--right in the center--with both hands, and pulled in opposite directs at once, with all his strength. The resulting "rrr-i-i-ppp" was loudly audible even over the laughter of several dozen boys who witnessed the spectacle.
Jackie had been quite effectively '"butted," as the process was subsequently termed: the elastic-and-cotton at the waistband and leg holes kept the garment on and "functional "; however, hereafter--no matter how Jack! e might pull or fold the several flaps that were left-- one second or one step later his shapely little behind would be just as bare as if he'd been wearing a jockstrap; Jackie was mortified. Since he never showered at school, no one there had ever seen his bottom bare before. Now everyone would!
Tommy used the confusion to run away from Jackie and to get his hands on Chris. Here, however, he found a problem: Chris was wearing underpants that were not only made of stronger material but also designed with a double layer of material in the seat and crotch; Chris was well aware of this, and he laughed heartily at Tommy's frustration-- until Tommy did manage to take recourse in a different way, through giving Chris a first-class wedgie, or as the local kids called it, an "undie- grundy." Seizing the waistband, he pulled upward as hard as he could, giving Chris the grundy of his life. Chris felt almost as "naked" as Jackie, since half of his underpants were now up around his waist or at least his beltline, or else deeply embedded in his bottomcrack, and probably 9/10 of each bottom- cheek was exposed to everyone. Now it was Chris' turn to blush.
Suddenly an irate adult male voice brought everything to a standstill.
"Jesus H. Christ! What the hell is going on here?" everyone heard just then. It was Coach Mack. All giggles and horseplay vanished.
"Everybody, freeze! Don't say a word and don't move a muscle," he ordered. No one dared disobey.
"All right," he barked after having thoroughly surveyed the situation, "Marshall, Stevens, and Flemming, stay here. Everybody else out on the volleyball court on the double!"
After the four were alone in the locker room, he then asked: "Marshall, how do I happen to find you with no shorts on and your hands on another boy's ass?"
"Sir" Tommy protested indignantly,"they pulled my underpants off and I was just trying to get 'em back!"
"Oh, l, see," the Coach said sarcastically. "And what's that you've got on, Stevens? It's got to be either the fanciest jockstrap or the shottest pair of underpants I ever saw in my life."
"It's my underwear, sir. Tommy ripped the seat out of 'em," Jackie exclaimed loudly.
"'Cause he wouldn't give me back my underpants!"' Tommy answered just as fervently.
"Well, he pinched my butt, and it hurt!" Jackie explained,
"Jesus Christ on Calvary! l will be dipped in _s_h_i_t_, rolled in cornmeal, fried alive and fed to wild hogs if anyone can ever convince me that you kids don't do the god_d_a_m_n_edest things I ever heard of!" Coach Mack remarked with a sigh, then concluded: "All right, you all know horsing around in the locker rooms is against the rules: All of you, bend over."
Knowing better than to argue, they all obeyed. Unsnapping the 18-inch paddle that he carried with him everywhere, the coach went to work on the three exquisite sets of boy-buns, methodically, without malice, but without clemency...
At the: sound of the first WHACK!--clearly audible through the gym--the volleyball game came to an electrified halt; there was complete silence on the court; everyone was frozen still with ears, eyes and all senses painfully alert. Between the first three whacks came the pained responses:
"Oww!... WOWW!... Yoww!"...
"That's Marshall!" somebody whispered
"Shut up!" a dozen angry voices hissed, demanding their right to pick up every audible detail from the locker room. The next three whacks from the paddle produced the groans:
"OHH!.... OOOH!... OH!" (Flemming, obviously!)
Considerably more enjoyment was produced by the much less stoic "AAAAOOOWWW! ... WWWAAOWWW! . . . YAAOOWWW!... OH! OH! OH!"' produced by the final application of the paddle.
Then there was the coach's booming voice commanding: "All right, don't stand there rubbing your hind ends all day--get out on the court with the rest of the class, right now, exactly as you are. That means you too, Flemming, bare-butted till the end of the period. That'll teach you."
The remainder of that period was curious, to say the least... All three of the punished boys were extremely good volleyball players. However, since there was only room for one more on each team, Chris opted to referee, a practical decision indeed, for the undie-grundy somewhat constricted his testicles, thus compelling him to move rather slowly and carefully in order to avoid real pain. Tommy assumed the front line center position on one team, Jackie the same position on the other. But in those circumstances the playing quickly became decidedly less than serious. Mare often than not the players' eyes were fixed upon, not the ball, but the rare and intriguing sight of a bare, spanked bottom, and a most shapely one at that, which they could not only behold but even feel with their hands if they so desired, and of course all desired, though most of then cloaked their carnality with consolation ("Gaah, Tommy, your behind's all red and hot! He sure hit you hard, but you really took it good!")l ("It's real red, Jackie; I bet it hurts. My daddy never paddled my butt like that!") In short there was not a straight face nor a limp _d_i_c_k_ in the house.
After a while, however, Jackie came in for real criticism because, though he never failed to strike the ball when it passed within his range, more often than not--as he fired it back over the net--he obviously directed It neither high overhead. nor down toward the floor, but straight at Tommy's _d_i_c_k_ and balls. Naturally this infuriated Tommy and his team, but fortunately Tommy was a very agile boy and managed to escape "disaster." But that was very mean of Jackie, and Tommy remembered it
Oh, how he remembered it! The following Friday night, after their Scout meeting, Tommy got his whole patrol to lay in wait for Jackie as he took his usual short cut home through the park. There they ambushed Jackie, who could not recognize them because they had all tied their shirts around their heads and their neckerchiefs over their lower faces. Quickly they stripped off Jackie's shoes, socks, pants and underpants and threw them into the creek, where all these articles were soon carried out of sight. Then they all ran away In all directions, leaving Jackie to his own devices. enraged but helpless.
At length he got and acted upon the Idea of fashioning a breechcloth out of his neckerchief. It worked, although he had to keep retying and tightening the knots ever so often. Also, It embarrassed him because it seemed somewhat like a diaper.
Still, by the greatest stealth and care, Jackie made it to his own home without being seen by anyone--until he got into his own bedroom, which, alas, he shared. with I0-year-old Jimmy. To Jackie's horror his little brother screamed, not recognizing his own brother and being a light sleeper and very much afraid of the dark. In an instant both parents were also in the room and the lights on.
Jackie had to tell everything, all the humiliating details of the last few days. In spite of some "extenuating circumstances" he was still subjected to another hard paddling for his behavior. Moreover, his "'butted" underpants were found, and he was made to sleep. in them, rather than pajamas that night. _d_a_m_n_, parents didn't understand anything!
That was the last straw! Tomorrow Jimmy was gong to get it!
(To be continued)