And then we saw Corey, a. ka. Jabba the Butt.
He was standing with his hands on his hips in the center of the air mattress wrestling ring. Dressed in a black jockstrap. Jesus, this guy was fat and didn't have one problem with it. He sneered at us. To me it seemed there wouldn't be any problem with it. Just knocking him over on his fat ass and pinning him. Piece of cake. His buns were the size of TV's. I'm exaggerating. Sort of.
Evan stepped forward, he even had a microphone that really worked. His amplified voice came out of the speaker next to the closed circuit tv camera. I just knew they were taping this.
"Ladies and Gentleman! Welcome to BUTTS ARENA for the annual Hell Year Wrestling Match! In this corner, with a combined weight of about 3 lbs. except for fat-ass Spike, closet homo_s_e_x_uals and cross-dressers the BUTTS!"
The MIGHTY BROTHERS booed and noisily slurped beer. I shifted, tugging at the spandex singlet I was encased in. It was digging into my balls.
"And in this corner, weighing an ungodly amount, our returning champion, JABBA THE BUTT!"
The MIGHTY BROTHERS went wild and Jabba belly-laughed.
"All the Butts have to do is pin Jabba and they are home free! And all Jabba has to do is either pin the butts or render them helpless for ten seconds."
Helpless? Looking around during Evan's spiel, I noticed that there were two black duffel bags located at strategic points beside the ring. What was in those?
"There will even be no tag-teams. The four of you are for once on the same team which gives you a slight advantage...and you can all be in the ring at once."
Scotty and Joe both snickered.
"We'll kick this fat bitch's ass, dude," Scotty whispered to me.
"SLIGHT adantage, yeah right." Joey said in that Midwest accent we all loved to rank on.
"That being said, LET'S GET READY TO RUUUMMMBBBBBLLLLEEEEE!!!!" I just knew Evan would say that. The MIGHTY BROTHERS went crazy and threw beer cups (full of beer) at us. Evan returned to his seat, and rang the bell. SHOWTIME!
Spike ran for Jabba like a linebacker. THis would be over in a second.
With a speed that was scary, Jabba sidestepped the hurtling Spike, and tripped his deftly. Spike went down with a surprised "WHOA!" on his big stomach. Jabba stood over him and proceded to hog-tie Spike. WITH HIS OWN CLOTHES! He took the arms of Spike's sweatshirt and pulled them across his front so he was hugging himself and knotted them in back so Spike's sweat shirt had become a straightjacket. Then he took the toes of Spike's tight sweatsocks and knotted them together, pulling his now bound feet up and tying that knot to the one his arms were in. He moved with an agility I didn't believe.
"Guys, help me! C'mon dudes!" Spike pleaded, wrapped up helpessly in his own clothes. We just watched open-mouthed. The MIGHTy BROTHERS began chanting "WRAP HIM UP!"
All of us stood amazed as Jabba crouched down and reached into the black duffel bag nearest him. He withdrew a ping-pong ball and a single swatch of strapping tape. He stuffed the ping-pong ball in Spikey's mouth and sealed it in with the tape.
"Mmmmpphhhh! Mrrgghh!" said Spike, as Jabba pulled the hood of Spike's sweatshirt down over his face, and tied it down with the drawstrings of the hood to the drawstrings of Spike's sweatpants.
"That;s so I don't have to look at your butt-ugly face. There we go boys, a nice neat package! Oh I forgot one thing..." Jabba said and yanked down the back of squirming Spike's sweatpants and ,reaching under his sock bound feet, gave him five sharp spanks on his jiggling white buns. The MIGHTY BROTHERS cheered.
"Mrrowww! Mrrrow!" Spike gurgled through his gag. Then Jabba left him there, struggling helplessly with the addedd humiliating touch of his pants being left down and everyone staring at his shimmying asscheeks, as he bounced on the ring like a pile of knotted up laundry.
"Which one of you fags is next?" Jabba snarled, big belly bouncing above his jock strap.
Scotty and I moved in for the kill with Joey backing us up. We circled our prey, looking for a weak spot. Scotty was fast. He spun in and tried to clothesline the big goon, buttcheeks flexing in his blue tights. Not fast enough, because Jabba caught his arm and surprisingly sat down quick on the ring dragging the suddenly bewildered Scotty down with him. Joey and I advanced.
Jabba now had the somewhat diminuive Scotty by the neck down on the mat.
"Hmmm, what should I do with you, Mr. Short Tights? Ah ha, I'll just put you in storage for later!"
"WHAT!?" Scotty yelled and looked rather alarmed as in one swift movement, Jabba rose his ass off the matt, slid Scotty underneath him and sat on Scotty's face! Trapping him completely! Scott's hands beat at Jabba's huge lovehandles, but he was trapped for good. His face encased in Jabba's sweaty (and hopefully clean) assgap.
"Ya know, I ain't gay or anything but this dude's nose feels real good right now!"
Scott: "MMMRRRRMMPPHHH!!!"
"And as for you two..." Jabba said and turned his vicious attention on us.
AS for Joey and me, Jabba then swiped our legs, so we fell down on our asses like we had just slipped on a patch of ice. We sat up ( I was scared that Jabba could sit on more than one face with that ass of his and it sure as hell wasn't gonna be mine) and he grabbed the backs of our necks with his enormous fleshy but claw-like hands. He dragged us up on our knees, facing each other. My terrified eyes bore into Joe's.
Jabba smiled at the intimacy. He removed his hands one at a time (all while riding Scott's face) and gave us each a smack on our asses. Prodding us.
"You too seem like such good pals. Why don't ya show me?"
"Wha-?" said Joey.
"what do you mean?" I stammered.
"KISS AND MAKE UP! HA HA!" and he shoved our faces together with a terrifying strength and made us kiss! JESUS CHRIST!
Our lips squirmed together sealed in a humiliating lip-lock from the hands on the back of our necks. Forcing us.
"No, uuurrppmmh!" we both said.
"Now, I'm not going to let you two homos stop kissing until you both use some tongue!"
We knew he was serious and groaning and pleading, stuffed our tongues in each other's mouths! I never tongued a guy before. And yeah, I had a boner. So sue me.
Then Jabba just threw us into a corner. Joey and I both spit and pretended to gag, but I caught him eyeing the crotch of my singlet. Great. His red hair and freckles were kind of attractive, though....WHAT AM I SAYING!?!?
To be continued....interesting note, I once got tied up the exact same way Spike was, hogtied in my sweatpants and sweatshirt. It was in college. As usual, any comments, ideas, questions - e-mail me.