Scene One: A neighborhood bar. Two friends sit talking over a beer. One, Rick, is about 40, and the other, Parker, is 46. They have been talking about various things, when Rick changes the subject.
Rick: I ran into your son, Adam, at the 7-Eleven a few days ago. He's certainly a fine looking boy. He said he's going to Paris.
Parker: Yeah, Adam got such good grades last semester that we agreed to pay for him a semester in France.
Rick: You must be proud of him. (He gets a worried expression.) Tell me, Park, when Adam was a teenager did he get into trouble from time to time?
Parker (laughing): You bet! What's on your mind, little Joey acting up?
Rick: "Little" Joey— you haven't seen him recently. He's a head taller than I am and has been lifting weights. And running. And playing football. And--everything but studying. I'm getting worried about him.
Parker: Don't worry, Rick, they all go through that phase.
Rick: When Adam was that age, I bet you weren't so casual.
Parker: Who said I was casual? I just took firm steps, that's all.
Rick: What do you mean?
Parker: I mean, there's only one way to get a teenage boy to pay attention and do what he's told. And that's to make his butt feel it when he doesn't.
Rick: Doesn't work.
Parker: Whaddya mean, "doesn't work"? Have you tried it?
Rick: Matter of fact, I have. Two times in the last month. You'd hardly think he noticed it.
Parker: How did you do it?
Rick: I made him bend over the bed and I used an old ping pong paddle on the seat of his jeans.
Parker: How many?
Rick: Five or six.
Parker: Was he crying when you finished, or begging you to stop?
Rick: The whole time he was complaining I should stop.
Parker: Listen, Rick, this is none of my business, but let me give you a piece of advice. NEVER, EVER, spank a young man unless you're serious about it. A boy that age, and that build, will hardly feel a few taps on the seat of the jeans. You've got to do this thing right or he'll be laughing at you behind your back.
Rick: How do you do it "right"?
Parker: You've got to be willing to strip him down, to position him properly, to use the right implements, and to inflict some serious pain. Otherwise its a joke. I belted Adam regularly--seems like every week--and it did a hell of a lot of good. But you can't be halfhearted about it.
Rick: I just don't know.
Parker: You want to borrow a few of my implements? I don't use them any more. I have some belts and canes and paddles you're welcome to borrow. But you have to promise me you'll use them properly. If you are too timid with them, they'll do no good. If you are too brutal they can do serious damage.
Rick: Listen, Parker, I have an idea. Would you be willing to show me the right way to use those things?
Parker: You mean a little demonstration? Belting the bed or something?
Rick: No, I mean come over to my house this Saturday morning and give a little demonstration on Joey's behind.
Parker: Don't you think that's kind of an invasion of privacy?
Rick: Hell, no reason to worry about that.
Parker: Then I'm game. It's been a few years since I've thrashed a young bottom, and I don't mind telling you I miss it.
Rick: What should I tell Joey?
Parker: Don't tell him anything. Let him imagine the worst. Just tell him to go to whatever room you want to do this in, and wait. Have him strip to his shorts and wait. Tell him that things are going to be different from now on.
Rick: Shall do. Shall we say, 9:00 in the morning.
Parker: I'll be there, and well equipped.
(more to come)