(Author's important notes: In the 'Yin Anecdotes', the author departs from the usual themes in order to conceptualize his brooding psyche in fiction. The stories in this series contain nudity, _s_e_x_, violence and profanity, but not always all at once. The characters and plot are merely a synthesis of actual people and events, and should not be construed as otherwise. The author would like to state categorically that he does not condone acts of violence and terrorism of any form against the weak and helpless, particularly children, women, homo_s_e_x_uals and all minority groups.)
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The doctor studied the young man's face. Despite the dark rings under his eyes, Ariel was alert.
"Let's try hypnosis, again," Dr. Myrdin said. "As I've told you before, your nightmares are caused by a repressed fear of some kind, probably something in your past. The hypnosis will facilitate regression to that time of your past through recalling one of your nightmares. Hopefully this would then also help you remember what it was that had made you afraid."
"But we did this last week, doctor," Ariel interjected unhappily, raising himself from the leather couch, "and I wasn't able to remember anything."
Myrdin placed his Mont Blanc on the spine of his dog-eared note pad. He looked squarely into Ariel's eyes. These were light brown and skirted on both lids with lethally long eyelashes like needles.
"I'm quite certain we'll make some progress today," the doctor said. "I want to increase your dosage to induce your memory more quickly."
The much-lauded psychiatrist had poured out a few colorful pills onto his palm. He handed them to Ariel.
"Take these now and relax for half an hour," he told his patient.
Placing his trust in the doctor for the second time, Ariel swallowed the pills, which were two parts authentic and one part placebo, with a glass of water. He lay back and shut his eyes.
Ariel began to feel relaxed and drowsy. Half an hour later, the doctor asked if he felt ready.
"Yes," Ariel replied, "do you want me to concentrate on that nebula on the wall again?"
"Yes, if you please," Myrdin answered and then as soon as he sensed that Ariel was almost somnambulant, he asked: "Can you hear me, Ariel?"
The youth nodded.
"Good," Myrdin continued. "Ariel, you're falling into deep sleep now. Very deep sleep. But you will still be able to hear me and speak with me. Do you understand me?"
Nod.
"Good. You're asleep now, Ariel. But you're not at peace. You're having dreams. They're very bad dreams and they're hurting you, making you very afraid."
Ariel's eyes were tightly shut but he wore a frown that deeply furrowed his wide forehead. Myrdin tuned in to the change in the youth's countenance and asked quickly: "Where are you now, Ariel?"
The youth answered tentatively: "At home."
"Which home?" Myrdin asked again.
"I don't know," replied Ariel, "my home, I think. Yes, it's my home."
"How old are you, Ariel?" Myrdin asked now.
"Twenty two," he replied without hesitation.
"No, Ariel, I meant, where you are right now, in your home. How old are you?"
Ariel groaned. "About sixteen, I think; yes, sixteen," he said.
"And what are you doing right now, Ariel?"
"Lying down ....sleeping."
"Where are you sleeping, Ariel?"
"I'm not sure. It looks like a bedroom of some kind. Not like mine, but maybe it is my bedroom."
"Are you alone?"
The youth appeared troubled.
"Ariel, are you alone?" the doctor repeated.
But Ariel was now tossing his head to his left and then his right, and back again to his left. He started to say something but his hands slipped off his stomach suddenly and were gripping the edge of the couch, the effort turning his knuckles white. He drew up one of his knees.
"What is it, Ariel? What's happening now?" Dr. Myrdin pursued with increased assiduity. He had resumed annotating into his note pad. "Ariel?"
"Two men," Ariel exclaimed, his voice punctuated with new fear, "they're coming towards me. They're holding me; no, please don't hurt me."
"It's all right, Ariel. Tell me now, who are these men? Do you know them?"
"Yes, my Uncle Remy. And the other looks like ....it's my stepfather."
"Now tell me, how are your uncle and stepfather hurting you, Ariel? You were telling them not to hurt you."
"They're doing something to me. They're trying to give me something."
"What are these men trying to give you?"
"A shot ....oww, it hurts! Stop it!"
"Where have the men given you the shot, Ariel?"
"On my buttocks."
Now Ariel was weeping and waging a personal war with the demons doing a black and white version of the dance macabre on the surreal reels of his mind.
"It's okay, Ariel," Myrdin consoled. "It's a dream; you're not there, remember. Now, I want you to tell me what's happening to you. Are the men still with you?"
"Yes." Ariel felt his anxiety ebbing into a dull throbbing in his chest.
"What are they doing?"
"They ....they're pulling at my limbs. They're trying to strip me."
"Of your clothes?"
"Yes."
"Everything?"
"Yes."
"Okay, what's happening now?"
"I'm naked ....no, I don't want to go. Leave me alone."
"Where are they making you go, Ariel?"
"I can't. Please don't make me say."
"Why, Ariel? Are you afraid?"
"Yes ....I can't ...."
"Okay. Show me then. Would it be easier if you did that? Ariel?"
Ariel nodded after an eternity of searching the hidden places of his being that frightened him but he did not know why.
"Good then," the doctor proceeded immediately so that there was no time for his patient to change his mind. "Now open your eyes, Ariel. That's very good. Are you still in the dream?"
"Yes."
"Very good. And can you still see your uncle and stepfather?"
"Yes."
"Excellent. Now when you're ready, show me what's happening to you."
Ariel started to weep again.
"It'll be all right. You can trust me, Ariel. Just show me, Ariel, now."
Inveigled by the power of the hypnotic spell he was helpless to control or resist, Ariel got up timidly from the couch and proceeded to take off his clothes. He schucked off his running shoes and used his toes and heels to peel away his white socks. He pulled his sweatshirt over his head, stretching it out of shape, and let it drop to the floor. His undershirt joined the sweatshirt shortly after. He went on to undo his belt and unzip his fly, and then rendered his well-worn 501s to his ankles. He stepped out of the legs unsteadily. He hesitated now in his white brief.
"Are you naked, Ariel?" Myrdin prompted.
"Yes." Ariel appeared startled.
"Go ahead, Ariel."
Ariel crooked his fingers now into the elastic top of his brief and slowly tugged it down his hips. When he had completely removed his underwear, he sprang to a corner of the office and huddled there, his nakedness causing him to feel very self-conscious. He shook like a kitten caught in a torrential rain, hunkering under a leaf.
"It's cold; don't leave me here," he cried, squeezing his eyes tight.
But suddenly Ariel looked up again. He seemed to be seeing someone and he was afraid. His arms extended outward from his chest and he crossed his wrists as if they were being manacled. Then he started struggling against being forcibly pulled to his feet.
"No," he screamed, "not again. Please, I won't do it."
Ariel fell heavily on his back. He dug his slender toes and heels intermittently into the shag rug. His hand reached out now to grasp at the air.
"No, let me go. You're hurting me," he continued to cry.
But now he had sprung up, and then he was stumbling along the carpet to a different corner as though he was being dragged there.
Ariel sank to his knees in his new corner. He uttered a short cry of pain. Then as if on compulsion he threw himself on his palms and knees. His buttocks were raised up, his knees were spread apart, and his back was arched.
"No, Uncle Remy," he pleaded. "Please, don't _f_u_c_k_ me."
Ariel maintained his kneeling position for a long while. His buttocks wiggled violently, the muscles on his thighs were clenched tight and at times, he would pound his fists on the carpet.
"Please, uncle," the youth sobbed, "you're hurting me. Please stop. Please my backside hurts. No, uncle, no!"
His muscles now relaxing, Ariel fell onto his back once more. He let out a tortured moan. In a short while he threw his legs up in the air, balanced them on the fulcrum of his naked bottom, and with eyes wide with fear, he pleaded, "Stop! Please, Tien, please, stop whipping me. I won't do it again. I'll co-operate. Please stop!"
Dr. Myrdin rose from his chair and walked stealthily to the prone youth; his legs were still spread wide open in the air.
"What's going on here, Ariel," he asked, staring down on the youth's private parts.
"It's Stepfather ...." he sobbed, "he's punishing me."
"How?"
"He's lifted up my legs. He's punishing my bottom and thighs."
"What's he using to punish you?"
"A cane ... it's a very long cane."
"What's he doing with the cane now?"
"Still lashing me, on my bottom and upper thighs. Sometimes it gets my balls."
"How do you feel?"
"Scared. He's going to kill me. He's hitting very hard with the cane."
"Like this, Ariel?"
Ariel had not seen the belt on the doctor's hand. The latter now raised it high and then let it plummet down on his patient's exposed buttocks. Ariel yelled and rolled over to his stomach. The doctor raised his belt up again and gave the boy's bottom another harsh blow. In the ensuing five minutes he continued the flagellation. Ariel was hollering but kept his bottom still, allowing his stepfather to whip him. It was necessary.
When the screams subsided to be replaced by soft winces, Dr. Myrdin, his trousers and brief lowered to his knees, knelt behind Ariel. He grasped the youth's bottom and spread his cheeks. Now he inserted his erect penis into the youth's anus and in short work, he unloaded his week-old pent-up yearning. He growled as he did.
It was almost time for his next session. Dr. Myrdin assessed his surroundings. He got up and then quickly and calmly set about the task of wiping away every incriminating trace of his baser instincts, gave Ariel a numbing shot on his buttocks and finally dressed him in his clothes.
"Ariel, can you hear me?" Myrdin asked. Everything was back in order.
Ariel nodded.
"Now Ariel, I'm about to count to five. When I do, you will wake up. You're going to remember nothing of what has happened from the time you fell asleep. Nothing at all. Do you understand me?"
Nod.
"Good," Myrdin said, and continued: "Now remember, Ariel, on a count to five, you will awaken and not be able to recall anything. One, two, three, four, five."
Ariel's head jerked back and his eyes sprang open.
"What happened to me?" Ariel asked, sitting up on the floor. He looked around him, slightly dazed. "Dr. Myrdin, did you learn anymore about what my fears are about?"
"You know the rules, Ariel," Myrdin replied, shaking his head, "it's not my job to tell you what your problems are. It's your job to find that out yourself. I only facilitate the process."
"But you did take me back to my past under hypnosis, didn't you?" Ariel asked. "Wasn't I able to tell you anything?"
Myrdin shook his head. "No more than what you told me last week. You appear to be having problems remembering still. But that's for next week. Your hour's up, I'm afraid. Come on now, let's get you off the floor."
Dr. Myrdin helped brush the lint from Ariel's clothes and hair. Right after, he wrote Ariel into his appointment book for the same time the following week and then saw the young man to the door.