------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Alex Learns a Lesson at 17"
I am a thirty six year old widow. Four years ago I was left alone in a medium sized mid western city with three boys to raise. My late husband and I had moved here for his career shortly after our marriage so consequently I have no other family members available to help me with my sons upbringing.
My boys are basically good kids and until fairly recently haven't given me any real problems. I managed very well to provide for them and also to keep them in line. Thats changing now that Alex, the oldest is seventeen.
Alex has been getting more and more out of control ever since he started high school three years ago. He is a senior now and thinks he no longer has to do as I say. He comes and goes as he pleases and is arrogant and disrespectful. I can hardly remember the last time he did anything around the place or helped me out with the other boys. In fact he is setting a terrible example for his younger brothers who both look up to and admire him.
Alex is a very good looking and popular young man. His buzzed off dark hair and nearly six foot stature, combined with a naturally good build, (he's much too lazy to work out or even play sports at school) make him popular with the guys as well as the girls at school. When he wants to turn it on, he has a very charming and likable personality. Unfortunately all he wants to do anymore is hang out with a rebellious crowd and party. I'm certain that he has begun using drugs, and of course is skipping school a lot. If I even bring up one of the subjects he doesn't want to hear about, grades, drugs, appropriate hours, work etc. He yells at me to butt out and quit nagging him. He then leaves the house slamming the door making the windows rattle. Most likely showing up again some time the next day to raid the refrigerator and swipe money from my purse or from his brothers.
My middle son Michael is fourteen now and is starting to emulate his older brother. I feel desperate to find a way to head him back in the right direction. Before its too late and he starts failing in school like Alex. Mike hasn't yet become as sassy and disobedient, but I can see him headed in that direction.
My youngest, Joey, is eleven and is a very sweet and considerate young boy. He helps me around the house consistently, and without being asked or forced. He has always been like that since he was very small, but now I'm worried that the influence of the older boys will eventually cause him to follow suit.
Since my husband didn't believe in corporal punishment our boys never experienced any other discipline than being sent to their room for "time out" or being deprived of something they wanted. I agreed with my husbands methods and truly believed that was the best way to set an example against violent behavior. I thought that our theory worked pretty well...until last week.
I'm not a very large woman, in fact I'm nearly considered petite, so there is no way I could physically discipline my older sons, even if I had the fortitude. Not knowing what to do at this point I discussed the problem with a co-worker whom I was quite fond of and whose advise I trusted to be in my best interest. Jay was an average sized guy about my age and we had gone out a few times in the past, but nothing romantic had developed. He had met my sons though and was surprised to hear that the older ones had become so difficult for me to handle. He told me that while he himself did not feel comfortable in taking on the task of correcting my boys behavior, he knew of a company that was in business for exactly that purpose. Supplying discipline to older children who were too big, old, or strong for their parents to handle any longer, but who desperately needed some firm guidance. We discussed at length the positive and negative aspects of corporal punishment and while I still would have liked to avoid using physical violence against my children, I could see no other way to get Alex and Michael to change their behavior. Reluctantly, but with resignation, I wrote down the name of the company Jay had informed me of....."Diciplinarians Inc."
After work that evening with neither of the boys at home, I looked that name up in the phone book and made a note of the number, determined to call them and make an appointment to discuss with them, the details of their service and the cost involved, etc. The next day, during my lunch hour I made the call. I was pleasantly surprised by the kindness and tone of the woman who answered the phone. She listened compassionately to my brief description of the problem and suggested that I make an appointment to speak in person with one of their counslor/specialists. It was with a great feeling of relief that I made the appointment for 4:45 that afternoon, I would stop on my way home from work and finally be able to get some much needed help.
Later that day, when I arrived at the location, which was just a rather small storefront on the end of the oldest strip mall in town. A plain gray fronted building with a large window and one glass door. Both covered with blinds angled to let in the sun light, but not much of a view from people passing by. In rather small, gold lettering on both the door and the lower corner of the window were written simply..."Disciplinarians Inc." I took a deep breath, and with determination, pushed open the door and walked in.
The woman who greeted me from behind the desk, was obviously the same woman I had talked to earlier that afternoon. I recognized her voice and she looked almost exactly as I had imagined. About 50 I guessed and rather matronly in appearance. There was a distinct glint of wisdom and also compassion in her eyes which made me feel immediately that I was making the right decision. She reminded me of a stern but loving mother, an image from countless movies I had seen growing up, but this one was the genuine article, not just a type cast replicant, sent over from central casting. We discussed again a few details and then she ushered me into a small office telling me to have a seat and Mr. Harden would be in directly. While I was waiting I looked at my surroundings and was drawn to the photos on the end of the desk. A picture of a large family. Six children ranging from about 8 to 19 in appearance, surrounding a small pleasant looking woman seated beside a rather large jovial looking man standing at her side. I wondered if this was Mr. Harden, and if he was the person who would actually handle the disciplining of clients children. He certainly looked large enough to be able to control almost anyone, but he didn't look at all like I expected. I had pictured a much more stern, perhaps almost angry looking man.......but......just then the door opened and in walked the man in the photograph. He greeted me warmly and began immediately telling me about their services. Different approaches used for various situations, they have a total of twenty five "counselors" available suited to be matched to particular needs and situations of the children requiring redirection. He explained that the low fee for their service could be waived in cases of need and was charged only for the purpose of maintaining the office expense. The entire staff including himself and the woman at the desk were unpaid volunteers from the community who were concerned about the growing problem of uncontrollable juvenile delinquents. The system was breaking down at an alarming rate due to the influences of television and movies combined with the lessened standards and permissive attitudes that seemed to promote disrespect from young people. Parents everywhere are feeling helpless to control and give positive direction to their older kids. Something HAD to be done, hence the formation of Disciplinarians Inc.
"We have volunteers suitable for every situation Mrs. Peters, and we take special care to match up the best administerer for each case." "For instance, we only use woman to discipline girls, and men to handle the boys." "We use people of the same race as the child involved, and always the man or woman is strong enough to completely control the situation." "We require that at least one parent be present, and one person from the social services department." "Either one will be able to halt the punishment at any point, but since we have all agreed beforehand what the punishment will be, that has never been necessary in the past." "Our record of success has been extraordinary and in only a few cases have we been called back for a second session. And to date, never a third time." "I'm confident that we can give you the support you need to set your boys back in the right direction."
We discussed the particulars of my problem and came up with a plan and agenda that seemed appropriate. Mr. Harden himself would handle the case and take care of all the related details. The date was scheduled for Friday evening since I knew for sure Alex would be there as usual to coerce money from me for the week-end. Around 6:00 p. m.. would be perfect.
I thanked Mr. Harden and left the office feeling more relief and weight lifted from my shoulders than I had felt for a long, long time. On the way home I began to look forward to Friday, rather than dread the coming ordeal. I would get a good nights sleep for a change, and in only three more days......who knows....
continued in part 2