Mr AS Lewis handed out the exercise books, he had marked their essays "an alternate view of history"- and was, he said generally pleased with the efforts of this group of fourteen year old boys, there were however two notable exceptions, and these young gentlemen would be discussing the matter with him later. Robbie had put a lot into his essay and had written at length about the 1879 battles at Isandhlwana and Rorkes drift -in South Africa . Although not deprecating the bravery of either the British soldiers-nor their Zulu adversaries he had challenged the general belief that the outcome was a major success for the Welsh. None of the officers was Welsh ( although many of the men had been recruited from South Wales), at the time of the battle the 24th Regiment was infact the 2nd Warwickshire regiment - very much an English one -though in future reorganisations it was to become part of the Welsh brigade, Of the 11 medals awarded ( both VCs and DCMs the Welsh were poorly represented -indeed the Irish members of the regiment were awarded as many medals as the Welsh! (Two each, plus one for a Swiss, another for a S African and the rest for the English). Robbie had seen the videos, visited the museum in Brecon and he'd even read three whole books on the topic- he was sure of his facts and believed himself to be on safe ground.
At the end of the essay was no mark, just the simple red ink comment "see me 4-30 p. m. Tuesday - ASL."
With a heavy heart, Robbie kept his appointment. Taffy Lewis was 6'2 ins and a scrawny former international hockey player. He was not just a euro-phobe but a card carrying welsh evangelical anglophobe. Unbeknown to Robbie he claimed that one of his forbears had been a (Welsh) hero at Rorkes drift.
Lewis was the housemaster in a building about as remote from Robbie's as you could go without leaving the grounds of the school. The lad had left in good time for his appointment and was actually a couple of minutes early. He raised his hand to knock on the door, but before he could initiate the rap, he heard the distinctive sound of a cane in action. Some other poor sod was getting it and Robbie would have to wait. As best he was able, Robbie controlled his tensions and waited ( calmly??) outside the door. In due course it opened and allowed one James HAY to exit. Robbie could not help but be pleased that James was unable to hide the fact that he had been crying. He was dishevelled, red eyed and vigorously rubbing his backside.
Robbie and James had been in the same form at prep school in Hong-Kong and they were not the best of friends. The connection had been broken 2 years earlier when Robbie's family had rushed back to the UK to get medical treatment for his mother. However, the memories were strong and Robbie truly believed that he had taken at least two slipperings and one dose of the cane, which rightly should have been given to James. (Putting chunks of rubber on the classroom's pot bellied stove which had caused a foul smell, chucking ink pellets from the third floor window onto the deputy head and loosening the wheel nuts on Phillips' (the history master) bicycle.
As Hay left, Robbie entered the study.
" Ah young Wilson, good of you to come, thank you so much for sparing the time "
God help us thought Robbie why do they all have to be sarcastic bastards?
"Now about this essay- it is just not good enough- Your handwriting is illegible, your grammar is appalling and your ideas are illogical. Such work merits a caning- have you been caned before?"
"Yes Sir at my last two schools and by both my father and brother"
"Your brother? "
" Oh yes sir - he's a prefect here"
"Well I am sure it was well deserved, Now then jacket off, bare your backside and bend over-please."
Robbie complied, put his jacket on a convenient chair, dropped his trousers to his ankles, and then, holding Lewis' eye for as long as possible he had lowered his blue boxer shorts and reached down to grab his shins. There had been a couple of feint taps to his buttocks followed by one hard slash.
"Come on Wilson touch your toes not your knees"
CRACK
" And get your legs apart" CRACK ..... CRACK
"So you went to an overseas prep school did you? CRACK,
"Why is it that colonial schools can't teach English grammar?"
CRACK CRACK
" In your essay you describe a sequence where the soldiers were on the roof of the mission waiting for another attack- and you wrote 'as they were laying on the thatch' .. The verbs are lie (present), CRACKKK lay (past tense), CRRAAACKK and lain (pluperfect). CRACK Unless, of course, you mean the transitive verb, lay, laid, laid (respectively, present, imperfect, pluperfect). Three more stripes Any English public schoolboy should know this."
" Now get up and go away. And never dare to waste my time again with such drivel."
Painfully Robbie left. He doubted his ability to get back to his own boarding house and was sorely tempted to ease his pain before beginning that journey, However the consequences of being discovered cooling his bare arse on the marble tiles of a lavatory - in someone else's boarding house, were just too awful to contemplate. So he hobbled home.
Lewis however was very pleased with himself. If there had to be rich English kids then flaying their arses was fair game especially when they sullied Welsh folklore and history. And on a purely personal note, it would be a sin not to beat such an attractive backside. It was a convention, backsides that shapely were designed to be thrashed. Surely, in years to come, the lad would thank him. Was it worth talking to the headmaster to see if Wilson could be transferred to his house? Probably not, but certainly he would have to take a strong interest in Wilson's development in the subject ( and his meaty backside).
ooo0ooo
comments are invited