Matthew awoke early on Tuesday morning. Rolf had spanked him for the first time last night, just one day after they moved in together. Matt got out of bed, and checked out the damage. There were still some marks, but not bad ones. He definitely knew he had been spanked, it was still tender when he sat on the side of the bed.
Rolf must not be up yet, the house was eerily silent. Matthew sat and thought about the events of yesterday as well as the weekend. He didn't know how he felt about all that had happened. He felt like he knew just about everything there was to know about Rolf, most of it coming from the conversations before going to the lake, and the rest coming from the long talk that they had the evening after he had been trying to beat up on Todd. But it still came as a shock to him, the way Rolf had treated him last night. Not as an equal partner, but more as father and child. Very much like father and very naughty child. He was confused. He had already decided that Rolf was the one he wanted to be with. Rolf was everything that Matthew was not. Tall, very muscular, confident, just a no bull_s_h_i_t_ personality. Matthew wasn't as tall as he'd like. He looked okay to himself, just not nearly as muscular as Rolf. He liked to be the class clown, but had no confidence in himself, and didn't know how to assert himself like Rolf did, who managed to do it without even thinking about it, it just came naturally. But the way he was treated last night. Just like a naughty child. He hadn't appreciated that at all. In the back of his mind, he was thinking that maybe, maybe he could handle that when it was just between him and Rolf. But he also knew from the trip to the lake, that that wouldn't be the case. That Rolf would punish him whenever and wherever, if Matthew deserved it. He didn't want to think about facing Rolf this morning, he was embarrassed and ashamed. And mad at Rolf, for making him feel this way. He knew Rolf would awaken soon, and from yesterday, knew that he would probably be "required" to eat breakfast with him. He wasn't sure he was ready for that.
Rolf soon arose and went to get breakfast started. He decided to skip on the oatmeal, no sense in angering Matthew this morning. He was a little concerned about how Matthew was going to react after his spanking. Rolf wasn't the type of person to second guess himself. He was certain that he had done the right thing, after all, Matthew had been warned. So, it was now just a matter of making sure Matthew knew that as well. He went to go wake him up, knocking on the door.
Matthew had heard Rolf walk down the hall. He was still totally confused about things, but decided he was hungry. He bid Rolf to enter.
"Good morning, sport. Did you sleep well last night?" Rolf asked.
"Yeah, it was okay."
"Breakfast is ready, and I didn't fix oatmeal."
"Good, be right there."
Rolf left, now certain that Matthew was upset with him. He wished that he didn't have to go to work, he really wanted to sit and talk with Matthew, make sure that he knew how much he cared for him. That would have to wait for this evening.
They both sat down to breakfast, without much conversation. Matthew was short with Rolf, and Rolf didn't want to press. It was awkward, but soon over. Rolf went to get ready for work, and Matthew dutifully cleaned up the few dishes in the kitchen, before heading down to plop in front of the tv. When Rolf was ready, he yelled downstairs that he was leaving, hoping that Matthew would come up to say goodbye. Instead, he got a "See ya." from Matthew. Rolf left, a little disappointed.
Matthew watched tv all day, and didn't do much else. He didn't spend a lot of time thinking about things, he was just too confused. When Rolf arrived home, he found Matthew lounging out by the pool.
"Hey there. Have a good day?" Rolf asked.
"Yeah, it was okay I guess."
"What did you do?"
"Just watched tv, then came out here to catch some rays."
"Sounds like a nice relaxing day."
"Yeah."
Rolf had expected more conversation, but Matthew was again short with him. "I picked up some fresh pasta and meat, spaghetti sound good to you tonight?"
"Sure, whatever."
Rolf went back in, again disappointed. He was hoping that the day alone would have allowed Matthew to work through everything. Maybe it would be better over dinner.
Dinner wasn't much better, but Matthew at least joined in some conversation. He wasn't cold to Rolf, just not very warm. Dinner was cleaned up, then they retired to downstairs, watching some television, and eventually playing more pool. Rolf didn't want to push Matthew at all. He wanted Matthew to come to terms with his feelings, then they could talk about them.
Things continued on an even keel for the rest of the week. Matthew never did take the time to sort through his feelings, the spanking just became old news, and since he did everything to Rolf's satisfaction, nothing more was threatened. Rolf was hoping for a breakthrough, and soon, but it didn't look like it was going to happen.
Matthew had to work Friday, from noon to 9 pm. When he finished with his shift, he and Scott, the other bartender, went to the storeroom and polished off a few drinks. The manager wasn't around, and nobody else cared. They only stayed for about 30 minutes after their shift, but managed to get a little tipsy. Matthew decided to head home, Rolf would be waiting for him. They were planning on going out and seeing a late movie. He managed to get home, though the drinks were affecting him more than he realized. His tires squealed as he pulled in the driveway a little too fast, and when he parked, he was partially in the grass. He got out and headed towards the front door.
Rolf had been waiting impatiently for Matthew to arrive home. He had hoped to catch the movie that started at 10:15, but it would take about 15 minutes to get there. He had expected Matthew no later than 9:30, and that was if he didn't get off right at 9. Here it was, 9:45, and no Matthew. Then he heard the tires squealing. He looked out the windows and found that it had, in fact, been Matthew that had squealed. And he had parked in the grass! Whatever was that boy thinking? He watched Matthew as he stumbled out of the car, and when he went to shut the door, completely miss it, nearly falling flat on his tail. He had to notice he was parked in the grass, but obviously wasn't interested in moving the car. Rolf went to the front door to meet Matthew, intending to tell him to move it. When he opened the door, Matthew was only about half way to it. Rolf yelled at him to move the car off of the grass before he killed it.
Matthew turned around and dutifully reparked the car. He didn't want Rolf to know he had been drinking, and that that was the reason he was late. Rolf was a stickler for being on time, and Matthew knew he should have at least called and alerted Rolf to his lateness. Since he was late because he wanted to drink, he didn't call.
Rolf watched Matthew as he walked back up the driveway. Something was bothering him about Matthew, he just couldn't put a finger on it. He held the door open for Matthew, saying "Welcome home, sport" as Matthew walked in.
Matthew said "Nice to see you" as he walked past Rolf, unknowingly sending a strong scent of alcohol along with his greeting.
Rolf's blood pressure went shooting up when Matthew walked past. Now he knew what was wrong, Matthew was drunk! He grabbed Matthew's arm, and turned him around to face him.
Matthew was shocked by the roughness of Rolf's hand. And he was even more shocked when he saw Rolf's face. Gone was the man he was coming to love more each day, it was replaced by a mix of fire and ice. The fire from a red hot temper, showing in a red tint on the usually bronze face, ice in the blue eyes, and the set of the jaw. The alcohol that was left in Matthew's blood immediately started to evaporate when he realized how upset Rolf was.
Rolf was ready to explode. He cared deeply for this boy, and he just pulled a truly stupid stunt, driving while under the influence. Not only could he have been arrested, he could have killed, or been killed. It was everything Rolf could do not to haul off and begin beating this kid senseless. Besides, he was underage! He knew this was another HUGE milestone in their relationship, and that it needed to be handled very well. These thoughts flew through Rolf's mind in an instant. He clamped down on his temper, took a deep breath and asked Matthew "How much did you have to drink?"
Well, Matthew didn't want to admit to anything. He was late because of the drinks, so he knew that wouldn't sit well. He drove home, and he could tell Rolf wouldn't appreciate that either. But obviously Rolf had a clue that he had been drinking, since he didn't ask if he did, but how much. So instead of trying to pull a full fledged lie out of his hat, he thought he'd start with a mistruth. "Scott offered to buy me a beer, to celebrate. I drank the one beer, and came home. No big deal."
Rolf looked deep into Matthew's eyes. He could immediately sense that this wasn't the truth. Matthew's mouth may spit out a lie, but his eyes could not. His blood pressure rose a little more, the steam from his ears almost visible. He still had a good hold on Matthew's arm, and proceeded to roughly drag him into the kitchen.
"Hey, OWWW, let me go! LET GO!" Matthew was trying to pull out of Rolf's grasp, it hurt, and he wasn't about to let Rolf get the upper hand. He was not drunk, he made it home safe, it was his life! He didn't want to be treated this way.
Rolf didn't let Matthew's feeble attempts at breaking free slow him down any. He pulled out a kitchen chair, and pushed Matthew down in it. Matthew immediately started to stand up as soon as Rolf let go of his arm, but Rolf stopped him immediately with a hand on both shoulders and a very loud, VERY stern "SIT DOWN!!!"
Matthew gave up and remained seated. He adopted the "I don't care" posture, crossing his arms and leaning back, looking at the floor.
Rolf wasn't interested this time in how Matthew presented himself. That would come later. Right now, Rolf was more upset that something could have happened to Matthew than anything else. He began pacing, and talking. "Matthew, you have just scared the living daylights out of me. Did you know that? Probably not. You weren't thinking at all tonight about anything, were you? Not about the movie we were going to go see, instead you stay late at work to have a drink. Not usually a problem not coming home on time, but we had plans. Plans together. Then to top that off, you drive home intoxicated."
Matthew started to sputter "I am NOT..."
Rolf roared "BE QUIET!" silencing Matthew by the force and volume of those two words. He continued "You WILL sit quietly and listen to me. I have a lot I want to get off my chest. I care deeply for you. More so for you than anyone I've ever known. You are my life now, and you could have just ruined ALL that. Matthew, it was STUPID of you to drink, you're underage for goodness sakes. You may think you are fine, not drunk, but if a cop had pulled you over, trust me son, you'd be headed to jail right now. Do you have any idea what that would do to me? Even more so, yourself? And if you were lucky not to get picked up, what would have happened if you had an accident, killing someone, or yourself for that matter?" Rolf continued on for close to thirty minutes, at times speaking quietly and from the heart, at others, roaring at the top of his lungs.
By the time he was done, Matthew was an absolute basketcase. He had no idea, no idea whatsoever, of the depths of Rolf's feelings for him. He had a few seconds to enjoy that feeling, knowing how much he was loved, but for the most part, he just felt absolutely horrible for his behavior. If he was drunk when he walked in the door, he wasn't now.
Rolf could tell that his lecture had made a significant impression with Matthew. Had the two of them been living together for much longer, Rolf would have immediately began on a VERY severe thrashing, making sure that Matthew didn't sit comfortably for a VERY long time. But again, this was going to be only the second time that he had spanked Matthew (aside from the lake). He WAS going to spank him again, and it was going to be much worse than before, but not near what it would become in the future if he ever did something this stupid again. "Matthew, I think I have said enough. You made a very irresponsible decision today, and I'm going to spank you for that to make sure you remember to think before you act next time. You are to go wait for me in your room."
Matthew got slowly up from the chair and headed towards his room. He was utterly exhausted from the lecture, and the mix of emotions running through his body. He wandered into his room, shutting the door, and taking a seat on his bed. He knew he had behaved irresponsibly, again. But he was unsure of whether or not he really wanted to be spanked by Rolf again. Those feelings from a week ago came rushing back, the feelings of embarrassment, humiliation, and most of all, anger at what he had done, as well as what Rolf was going to put him through. He didn't have very long to wait before hearing Rolf's footsteps approaching his door. Rolf knocked, then walked in. Matthew noticed that Rolf held a paddle in his hands, but didn't think too much of it. He thought he was ready for a spanking, he felt bad for scaring Rolf so much. He was just going to suck it up, and take what he had coming. At least that is what he intended to do.
Rolf walked over to the bed and sat down next to Matthew. "Stand up, please."
Matthew stood up slowly.
Rolf reached up and began to unbutton Matthew's pants. He did so, and pushed them down to his ankles. Then he gently pulled down the shorts to the same position. He gently guided Matthew over his knees, Matthew's upper body lying on the bed, his legs stuck out over the side of the bed. Without any more words spoken, Rolf cracked that paddle down across Matthew's upturned bottom.
Matthew was completely shocked, first by the noise of the blow, then by the incredible stinging, then pain that quickly followed. He let out an involuntary grunt of pain, even after vowing not to. The second blow hit a little lower, causing a whole different sensation of pain, half on untouched skin, half on skin that had suffered from the first blow. A lump quickly formed in his throat, as he tried in vain not to cry. Tears formed, and started to fall. By the fifth swat, Matthew was tensing before each blow, and relaxing for a second after it, the pain incredible. He had not felt anything like this since he could remember.
Rolf kept cracking the paddle, turning Matthew's milky white bottom into a heated, blistering red.
Matthew continued to move with each crack of the paddle, begging as if for his life, for Rolf to stop. He was crying freely now, the pain intense. He was kicking and bucking, pulling at the bed, trying to twist around and block the blows that kept raining down.
Rolf had a good hold around Matthew's middle, making sure he would go nowhere. When Matthew reached around to block the paddle, Rolf, without missing a beat, grabbed the arm and centered it in Matthew's back.
There wasn't anything Matthew could do, he had given up on his pleas and cried his eyes out, wishing for the end.
Finally, the paddle was laid on the bed. Matthew continued squirming, trying in vain to put out the flames he was sure were lighting up the room.
Rolf massaged Matthew's neck and back, trying to calm the crying. As soon as Matthew had control of his crying, he slid off of Rolf's lap onto his knees, and laid his head on the bed, saying "Go away....just go away."
"Matthew...." Rolf began gently, wanted to comfort Matthew.
"GO *sob* AWAY!" Matthew yelled, barely getting it out between his cries.
Rolf got up, took the paddle and left the room, closing the door behind him. It was breaking his heart, seeing Matthew so distraught. That still didn't change his mind that he had done the right thing. He tried to get interested in a movie, but couldn't keep focused. Finally, after nearly an hour, he tried to enter Matthew's room. He knocked, and said "Matthew, can I talk to you?"
"Go AWAY!" Matthew yelled.
Rolf walked slowly back to his room, and climbed into bed. He hoped that Matthew would soon come to talk to him. He couldn't stand the animosity that was there.
Matthew wanted to go to sleep but his butt was throbbing, preventing him from doing so. His emotions were also running high, so it was over an hour later that he was finally able to fall asleep.
He woke early, again before Rolf had arisen. He definitely wasn't ready to face him. He checked out his backside, and was shocked to see it was still a healthy shade of red. And it was still very tender. That didn't stop him from throwing on some sweats, grabbing his keys, and heading out to his car. He was going back to his apartment, he needed some quiet time to sort out his feelings.
Rolf awoke when Matthew opened the door. He got to the window in time to see Matthew speed off, in a cloud of blue smoke. His heart skipped a beat, terrified that Matthew might have left for good. He walked down the hall, and checked out Matthew's room. All of Matthew's prized possessions were still there, so maybe he would be home soon. Rolf looked around for a note, but couldn't find any.
He got ready for work, cutting himself shaving because he was so distracted. When he got to the office, he could barely manage to keep focused. He called home every 15 minutes, hoping that Matthew would answer the phone. At 11, Rolf went into a meeting. He was distracted beyond belief, and after 30 minutes, excused himself, claiming illness. He called home again, with no answer. He decided there was nothing else he could do at the office, so he left, intending to find Matthew and hash this out.
He figured that Matthew had probably gone to his apartment, so he drove over there. Sure enough, there was his car, parked in the lot. Rolf got out, trotted up the stairs, and knocked on the door. He heard Matthew walking up to the door, then ask who was outside.
Rolf replied, and Matthew said "I don't have anything to say to you right now. Go away."
Rolf wasn't about to. "Matthew, I have things I want to say to you. I am not leaving until we can talk. You can open the door, or I can sit out here all day talking to you, with your neighbors hearing everything. Your choice."
Matthew stood there for a couple of minutes, trying to decide what to do.
Rolf waited for one minute, then began speaking very loudly. "Matthew, I...I love you. I have since the..."
Matthew opened the door, cutting Rolf off in mid sentence. "Alright, alright, come in, it's obvious you always get your way."
Rolf smiled inside, and walked on in. He was happy to at least get to face Matthew, without a door in between them.
Matthew went and gingerly sat down on the couch, pointedly ignoring Rolf. Rolf took a seat in the chair and sat silently for a few minutes, trying to judge Matthew's state of mind.
Finally, Matthew got tired of being stared at. He looked at Rolf and said in a pissy voice "So, you had something to say, say it, and then go away. Don't you like, have a job or something?" Matthew had been moved by Rolf's admission of love, but overriding that was his anger at him for the pain he was still feeling in his butt. And the feelings of embarrassment he still felt.
So Rolf began. And he talked from the heart. He explained how much he cared for Matthew, and that he only punished him out of love, not anything else. That Matthew could ask any of his friends, that was the way Rolf was and it wouldn't change.
Matthew was able to admit that he knew he had done wrong, and that after the punishment, he did feel better about that particular wrong. But he was still upset with the feelings of embarrassment. Rolf explained that it was all natural, and was part of the punishment process. That the punishments would continue coming, whenever, however, and in front of whoever, if Rolf felt that it were needed.
Matthew thought long and hard about that in particular. He realized that he had been going no where in life since Bryan had died. That it would be truly good for him to have someone to take care of him, making sure he was always headed in the right direction. He loved Rolf after all, and had in a very short time, developed complete trust that Rolf knew exactly what he was doing. That he truly did have Matthew's best interests at heart. Matthew was finally able to breakthrough and tell Rolf all that.
They talked all afternoon long. By the time the sun was setting, Matthew's anger had melted completely away, replaced by the strongest feelings of love he had ever felt. If the guys thought they had bonded at the lake, they were wrong. This afternoon tied them together for all time.