So, morning eventually came and we were allowed to dismount from our kegs and walk bowlegged to our rooms for a good night's rest. Tomorrow morning was the Hunt....
***
In the morning we were given our pledge uniforms for the Hunt. They were actually kind of cool - mock chain-mail for shirts made out of kids' plasticy stuff, fake swords, medevial helmets, gray tights complete with gray thongs, and boots. The amazing thing was that, even though we had to wear tights, we actually looked kind of cool. The Brothers were all dressed in the Robin Hood togs, looking pretty rougish. It was kind of like playing dress-up like you did when you were kids. Of course, when you were a kid - when you lost you weren't butt_f_u_c_k_ed, spanked, bound and gagged, humiliated, or fell victim to any of Evan's latest science projects...but alas, the life of a pledge.
Evan and Dean informed us cheerfully that we were the Sherrif of Buttingham and his Butts....we had been separated from the rest of our company in Sherwood Forest and had to somehow evade Robin Hood (Dean - he looked the most like Errol Flynn and I had to admit he filled out his green tights pretty well...) or be subject to capture, torture and servitude for Robin Hood's Jamboree. The Forest? Evan's rich father owned acres of woodland as prt of his logging company a couple of towns over. It was dense with deserted logging trails and a log cabin that Evan's Dad has built just for him and his friends. We were to be blindfolded and left in the center of the forest. If we made our way to the nearest highway- Evan told us that we were homefree.....Gil nudged me in the side with his fake-chainmailed fist...
"Dude, for once I'd like to keep my asscheeks shut for a day. Let's _f_u_c_k_ing do this and show these bastards what we're made of..."
"Yeah, we'll win one for the gipper....whatever. I hope you know woodland, dude."
"I do, I was raised in the suburbs," Buttpie, I mean Spike offered.
"Alright then," Joe said, "But it's your rump if we lose. So if we get caught and have to go through the jamboree....we're going to take out whatever was done to us on you x3, Tons O' Buns."
Spike looked annoyed but didn't say anything. I smiled at him and he eventually grinned back. He was taking the challenge. I do have to say, once you've had three other guys' butts on your face and yours on theirs - you do develop some sort of a camaraderie.
***
Flashforward...so I'm slung over the back of Evan's horse like a sack of grain, butt in the air and Evan's fingers keep "accidentally" poking at my buttcrack and I wiggle in discomfort. I didn't know they were going to be allowed to use horses! The three other Butts are slung over horses, too. They're dropping us off in the center of the woods.
"Whoa!" Evan sez, and I'm unceremoniously dumped on the ground. I hear three other musclebutts bounce onto the forest floor as well.
As they ride off, Cory calls out - "Sherrif of Buttingham and his Butts, you have 20 minutes to scatter in any direction you wish before the merry men of Sherwood make short work of you!" He's even using a fake British accent! Gimme a break.
I take my blindfold off. Joey's reaching under his tunic and massaging his farmboy ass. Spike's looking carefully around. Gil had smuggled a flask between his ass cheeks and takes it out for a swig...
"What? Dean didn't give you a hernia check on the ride over like Evan gave me?" I ask, annoyed. The fact that I'm a short fireplug bruiser of a soccer player and yet, I'm treated like a rubber blowup doll by other guys for my frat initiation still bugs me.
"Nah, before we left I told him that I had diarrhea and even manufactured a fart or two...there was no way he was going back there today..."
"You didn't get the hose?" Joey asked incredulously.
Gil's face reddened so we all chortled knowing his ass was clean as a whistle. He had done time that morning barebutt and ass up over the tub getting douched. Dean hadn't finger_f_u_c_k_ed him just as a precaution.
"Alrighty - we should get going, dudes..Let's go this way." Spike pointed to a brambly-looking , barely treadable path.
"I think we should stick to the path, Spike. It's probably going to be our best way to get to the highway and civilization," Gil said.
Spike, a big Pampers wearing baby, immediately had a tantrum, saying "fine, don't trust me...just do whatever the hell you want..."
The three of us felt kind of bad, because he takes a lot of _s_h_i_t_ for looking like an overgrown Baby Huey.
"alrighty, Spikey - we'll do it your way....," Joey said...and headed straight for the brambly path which was a mistake - because he suddenly found himself cast into a Three Stooges movie.
While advancing forward, he tripped over a large root that was hidden by leaves. He flailed like a ballet dancer gone awry...and fell directly into the brambles! Facefirst! Not only that but we also heard a nylon tearing sound, as a branch of brambles caught directly on the seat of his tights, opening a hole right up his asscrack. His buns popped out, as if to say good morning, and he was held suspended by the brambles snagged in his tunic. His feet came right out of his boots, and his tighted toes wiggled in mid air - his buttcheeks bouncing almost in our faces as he struggled to get free.
"D'OH! _s_h_i_t_, I'm stuck! C'mon, guys! Gimme a hand, here!" Joey pleaded.
As if in response to his whining, and as if it wanted to egg on our laughter at Joe's predicament...another snag of brambles came loose with a whipping sound and smacked his butt with nettles! The branch bounced off Joey's jiggling buns and smacked again! Small red dots appeared all over his freckled bubble butt as his thrashing caused the branch spanked him again and again! It was as if the branch has grabbed him, turned him ass up, took down his tights, and was spanking his football playing butt for not respecting Mother Nature!
"Oh, _s_h_i_t_ that stings C'mon guys please help me! D'oh! _s_h_i_t_! OW OW O OW OW OW OW! Dude, my ass! C'mon, guys, please!" Joey thrashed in his viney bondage, split tights held open by thorny claws, making his ample ass a perfect and lucious target
" i think Prince Valiant has had enough I said..." and moved forward to assist. Also the sight of Joey's shimmying ass had given me a puptent in my leotards...shut up, I'm under pressure here, okay?
As I moved forward with Gil to free Joe, the brambles apparently agreed with me. His thrashing freed, or else Mother Nature wanted to compound his humiliation once more because he dropped facefirst into a large mudpile directly under the bush he had been trapped in. What happened next I still dream about. Part of his tunic was still trapped in the springy brambles so as soon as his cute mug had been given an unannounced mud facial, he was whipped around and dropped on his ass in the same mud puddle. So both ends were painted a nice chocolate pudding brown - ass and face. But his butt had landed on a curiously (we found out later) dick shaped stump hidden in the mud. a very large one. Joey landed on it, and found that since he and the forest _d_i_l_d_o_ he found himself impaled on were covered with the slippery mud - he wasn't going anywhere. He tried to raise himself off it, but his arms were still held fast by the brambles. so he tried bouncing his ass off it - but it was too high and his butthole and prostate merely got massaged. He got a huge hardon...and we all merely gawked as we watched out pledge brother helplessly butt_f_u_c_k_ himself in a mud puddle!
"Oh, please get this out of my ass...please.."
Joey raised himself up to no avail. His feet, coated wih mud and encased in the gray tights slipped out from under him and he got buttstuffed once more...then we noticed he was trying this mauever again and again until finally he REALLY was butt_f_u_c_k_ing himself on the muddy, smooth rounded branch. Helplessly, face contorted in humiliating pleasure.
"Oh, no, oh gawd, please don't let me get off, not like this, not in front of them...aww jesus this feels good, oh, _f_u_c_k_ no...oh no..."
we watched as Joey's muddy asscheeks spanked the mud beneath him with a slapping sound. He was lost in humiliating ecstasy. Arms trapped over his head in the brambles. Muscular legs in his humilaitng tights slapping in the mud and pushing through it. His pelvis worked like a piston, raising him and lowering him..splorch. gunk. splorch. He must have already worked about a pound of mud up his ass.
Finally, a large wet spot appeared on the front of his tights. And mine. We then helped the poor, sobbing guy off his butt_f_u_c_k_ing _d_i_l_d_o_ prison of shame. And that's when we heard the approaching horses. Oh _s_h_i_t_.