I told this funny little story recently and I thought it would be a nice addition to my collection. Let me know what you think.

I was in the back yard one day, filling water balloons with the garden hose and then putting them in a bucket so I would be well prepared for the water battle when Jared and his friends come back from football practice. Water balloon battles were our favorite in the summer time, especially when we got alot of people to play with us. Even my father got into a few of the battles with us.

As I worked, filling my balloons, the little, nosy, old bag of a next door neighbor that we had looked over the fence and started to yell at me saying that I was wasting water.

"I'm not wasting water. Water is the most abundant thing on the planet." I said, repeating something I heard from Jared, and went along with the water..

She looked surprised, then angry again. "Young man I told you to stop that." She demanded.

"I'm allowed to do it. I don't have to stop."

"STOP IT I SAY." She yelled and hit the fence with her hand.

I Snapped my head around and gave her a mean look. "You can't tell me what to do." I said arrogantly.

She made a little gasp. "How dare you talk to me that way. Who do you think you are!"

"OH, just shut up you old bag!" I blurted out, repeating something I heard from my father.

Her mouth dropped open. "That's it." She announced. "I'm going to tell your mother." She said and started to move towards the side gate.

'Stay out of my yard!" I yelled, but she came in anyway and was walking towards my back deck.

That was it. She asked for it. I reached into the bucket and grabbed one of the balloons and threw it at her. It hit her in the chest and soaked her house dress. She screamed bloody murder..

My mother, who had looked out from the kitchen window and saw everything, came running out with a wooden spoon in her hand and started whacking my butt with it right there in the back yard while the old bag watched. Then she told me to go to my room and wait for my father to get home from work. Not wanting another paddling with that dreadful spoon I flew in the house, leaving her apologizing profusely and saying that I would be indeed be punished.

When Jared got home he ran right up to his room to change out of his football uniform and saw me laying on my bed, with my arms behind my head, looking at the ceiling.

"What are you sick or something?"

"No." I said in a pouty voice.

"Then what's wrong. The war is about to start."

"I can't play. I have to stay up here."

"Why?"

"I threw a water balloon at Old Mrs. Lieberman."

Jared's eyes popped open and let out a laugh. "WHAT?"

"She yelled at me and I threw one at her."

He busted out laughing. "Holy _s_h_i_t_. Did you soak her?"

"No. It never even hit her, but Mom beat me with the spoon anyway." I still pouted.

"Ahhh, Yeah I can imagine, but it was worth it right."

I shrugged.

"Come on quit pouting. Mom will let you out in a little while." He said.

"No-uh. I have to wait up here till Dad gets home."

His face fell. "UHHHHH."

It was never good to be sent to your room, but to be sent there to wait for your father to get home to punish you was pure torture. I use to get myself so worked up that the wait was probably more painful that the spanking itself.

A few hours later, as I laid there torturing myself, I heard my fathers car pulled up in the driveway, then the front door open.

"HI Hun." I heard my father say. "How was your day."

Mom didn't waste any time. "My day was terrible. Do you know what your son did?".

"Which one?"

"Roland."

"Should I guess?." He asked. Mom must have given his a bad look. "What did my son do today?" He sighed.

"He threw a water balloon at poor old Mrs. Leiberman."

"You're kidding!" His voice was higher.

"No I am not kidding. The poor old soul. It took me an hour to calm her down."

"Where is he?" He asked sternly.

"He's in his room." Mom told him.

All of a sudden my father came stomping up the steps and burst in my room (still dressed in his police uniform mind you) I sat up quick and looked at him fearfully as he announced that I was going to get it (Big surprise). Then he sat down on my bed, pulled me over his knee and started to beat the crap out of me.

"Dad! I didn't mean to do it." I cried as he brought his hand down.

"Throwing balloons at little old ladies.......what is wrong with you!" He yelled.

"OWLLLL.......Please...........Dad.........don't!" I screamed. "I'm sorry!" But he kept slapping my ass.

I began to yell, squirm, twist, kick, and push like a mad man, and in doing so my hand accidentally hit his radio and turned it on. Well, the dumb thing started squawking like crazy, making him jump in surprise. I remember hearing "Oooho" then "God _d_a_m_n_ thing." then he turned it off quickly and resumed whacking my butt.

Well I found the whole radio thing funny, and I actually started to laugh right in the middle of the spanking. Then he started and before long he was laughing so hard that he couldn't spank me anymore. He just pulled me up and gave me a big hug. "You little Brat." He laughed as he squeezed me tight.

After the laughter stopped he sat me down beside him and made me explain everything that had happened. He was not pleased, but he said he understood why I lost my temper, in fact he said he may have wanted to do the same thing if he were in my shoes. "All right. You stay up here till dinner's ready," He told me. "Then you can come out."

He got up and walked across the floor to leave, but right as he got to the door he stopped and turned back. "I don't want you to ever do anything like this again, but I wish I could have seen the look on the old bags face." He said winking at me then he left the room laughing.

Hope you enjoyed.......let me know.