Shane - Part 1

My fifteenth birthday was a nightmare. My dad had taken me out to celebrate -- just the two of us -- and as we were driving to the batting cages we were hit by a drunk driver and nearly killed. I was beat up pretty badly and was held in the hospital for observation because they weren't sure if I had internal injuries. My dad got a broken leg, two fractured ribs, and a sprained shoulder. The car was totaled.

My step mom, Nancy, wasn't with us because I hadn't wanted her there. She had just married my dad less than six months before, and my real mom and I were still close. My dad had gotten custody of me because my mom had gotten a job in Germany, and I didn't want to leave the U. S. I had been given the choice of which parent I wanted to live with, but I loved them both. I just chose my dad because I didn't want to move away. My mom was back in the states every couple of months and I spent all the time with her that I could and we wrote letters a lot. I missed her a lot sometimes, and I really resented the way Nancy tried to mommy me.

She had ideas about being a mom that were more appropriate to a little, little kid, not a young man like me. I'd be able to drive in less than a year, and I had a part-time job and was saving up to buy a car. I got good grades and was generally a much more mature kid than most my age, and everyone but Nancy seemed to recognize that and treat me accordingly.

The day we got to come home from the hospital was where things really started to change for the bad. Because of his shoulder and ribs, my dad couldn't use crutches and Nancy and I had to wheel him into the house in a wheelchair. I was still feeling achy and bruised and exhausted, and we were both in pretty bad shape. We helped my dad into bed, and he looked at me and said, "Why don't you go take a nap, son? You look tired."

"Okay" I said.

"I'll be in to help you in a minute" said Nancy who was helping my father take off his pants.

I gave her my much-practiced "you're crazy" look and said, "I'm fine, Nancy."

I went to my room, kicked off my shoes, and collapsed on top of my bed without getting in. It felt great to be home and in my own room again. I closed my eyes and started to have day dreams about the accident. I heard Nancy walk in, and I opened my eyes and gave her a "now what?" expression. I wished she would just go away and leave me alone!

"Don't you want to take your pants off, honey?" she asked.

"Just go away, Nancy, okay?" I said. "I'm fine."

"I don't think I like your tone, young man" she said.

I didn't want to argue with her. I didn't want to upset my dad. So I just said, "I'm sorry. I just want to go to sleep now, okay?"

She looked at me sympathetically and said, "I'm going to make some dinner while you boys sleep. Your dad asked for lasagne. Would you like to pick desert?"

"Just whatever" I said.

"Shane," she said, "I'd really like to make you something special for desert. Isn't there anything in particular you'd like?" She never let up trying to get at me, I thought.

"What I would particular like," I said sarcastically, "is to go to sleep now. Can't you just leave me alone, Nancy? I mean, if that's what I really want, can't you just go away? Is that so hard? Just go away. Please!" I was tired, frustrated, and mad. Nancy walked out of my room without saying anything, almost slamming my door behind her.

I knew I had gotten to her. She was so much more strict than my mom, and had gotten after my dad a few times to "take me down a peg" as she liked to put it. She meant my dad should spank me, which he hadn't done in a couple of years and which we both knew I was too old for now.

I woke up a few of hours later when I heard her calling me. The first thing I was aware of was that I was hungry. "Argh!" I said, as I sat up. The second thing I was aware of was that the front of my pants were all wet. I reached down into my pants and felt my crotch and underwear. I had wet myself in my sleep! I had never done that, even as a little kid. I had all kinds of feelings just then, fear, embarrassment, confusion. I stripped off my pants and underwear and laid them over my desk chair to dry before I took them to the laundry. I didn't want anyone to find out what had happened. It would be so humiliating if they did.

I changed and Nancy and I helped my dad to the den where we all ate dinner together with my dad propped up on the couch. It was nice doing this again. Nancy always made us have dinner in the diningroom, and it was nice to eat in here again like old times. It made me miss my mom, though.

After dinner Nancy disappeared into the kitchen and came out with a chocolate cake (my favorite) and candles singing happy birthday. My dad joined in, and I looked back and forth between them uncomfortably. I didn't feel like celebrating my birthday. It was a couple of days over anyway, and it reminded me about the accident. I kind of felt like it was my fault that it had happened. I mean, we wouldn't have been there at that time and place if my dad hadn't been taking me to celebrate.

I blew out my candles and Nancy started cutting slices for us. My dad scowled at me and nodded toward Nancy while she was busy cutting. "Thank you, Nancy" I said.

She beamed at me and said, "You're welcome, Shane. Happy Birthday."

Afterward Nancy and I helped my dad into the bathroom, and she asked me to help him undress while she cleaned up the kitchen. It was weird helping my dad like that. Like he was the kid and I was the dad. He had to keep his broken leg out of the shower, and I helped him balance while he bathed. When he got out and dried off he said, "You should get in" and nodded his head at the shower.

I pulled off my socks and threw them into the hamper. Then I did the same with my shirt and pants, and just as I was about to pull my boxers off Nancy walked into the bathroom.

"Hey!" I said, because I was in my underwear and my dad was naked.

"Hey, what?" she said. "How you doing, honey?" she asked my dad, patting his chest.

"Get out" I said.

My dad frowned at me and said, "Shane, I don't like the way you've been talking to Nancy lately. She's my wife, and whether you like it or not she's your step mom." He held up his hand for silence as I started to speak and said, "I know you and your mom are close. Nancy isn't trying to change that, son. But she's the one taking care of us both now, and it's going to be harder than usual with me out of commission so I don't want you to give her any gruff."

I pulled a towel around my waist and Nancy said, "Are you embarrassed, Shane?" She looked truly bewildered.

"Well, yeah" I said, like she was stupid (which at that moment I felt she was). "You want to stand around in your underwear in front of me?" I asked.

"That" said my dad, pointing angrily at me "is exactly what I'm talking about. That smart mouth of yours." He pivoted painfully toward me, Nancy under his good arm and said, "Shane, I am so close to putting you over my knee you had better just watch it." My jaw hit the floor when he said that, and before I could say anything he quickly said, "You are not too old, if that's what you're thinking. Now put that towel back up on the rack and stop acting so silly. I'm naked, and you don't see me acting all shy and embarrassed do you?"

"She's your wife" I said angrily.

"Put the towel back, Shane" he said. I knew that tone of voice in my dad, and I knew there'd be hell to pay if I didn't obey. I had been pushing a lot the last couple of weeks, and now he was at that point he got to where he wasn't going to take any more.

I put the towel back and stood there feeling awkward in my boxers. "Now" said my dad, "what's the big deal? We've both seen you at your swim meets and those boxers cover a hell of a lot more than those tiny little speedos you were to dive in."

I squirmed a little. During swim meets and diving there were tons of guys in speedos, and the audience was far enough away that you didn't really have to think about them. They weren't two feet from you like my dad and Nancy were now, and if he had thought about it my dad would have realized that neither of them had ever seen me in speedos in the house or up close at all.

He was always taking her side, and instead of being able to articulate everything that was going through my head I just swallowed hard and had to suppress the urge to cry. It was humiliating when Nancy saw all this in me and said, "You guys are just ragged after the accident is all. Let's not fight, okay?"

"No" said my dad. "He's been way out of line for a long time now, and I'm not going to have it anymore. Especially with all the extra work on you while I'm recovering." There was some truth to what he said, but it still felt like he was taking her side.

"All right" she said, "but you're getting angry honey. Can you see that? You look really tired and really pissed right now is all I was thinking."

He turned his head to her, and his shoulders relaxed and he leaned forward and kissed her.

He let out a long sigh and said, "Just get in the shower, Shane."

My guts twisted, because they weren't going anywhere. She was helping him to dress right there in the bathroom.

"Shane?" asked my dad, again in that tone.

"Get out" I said, looking at Nancy.

"I need her help, son. Just knock it off and get in already, will you?"

"Dad..." I started.

"Come on" he said, smiling. "Let's see the birthday boy in his birthday suit."

Again I swallowed hard as he hooked his finger in a "come here" gesture. I was shaking a little as I walked up to him and Nancy. He reached over and hooked his finger into the waistband of my boxers, and as he started to pull them down I snatched his wet towel off the counter and pulled it around me.

He clapped me gently on the ear, and Nancy said, "Bashful to the end, huh?" and I hated her for it. I got in the shower with my towel on, pulled the curtain closed, and threw the towel out over the top. I turned on the water and grabbed the soap.

"Nancy" I heard my dad say. "Help him wash, will you?"

"Dad!" I said, and convulsively doubled over, my hands down in front of my privates.

The curtain pulled slowly back and I shouted, "Get out!" but it was just my dad, smiling.

"Relax" he said. "She gone."

I stood up and looked at him angrily. "You don't care if I see you hanging out." It was a statement.

"No" I said. Why should I care? I thought.

"Well, until I'm better you might have to think of Nancy as dad, okay? I'm in agony right now son. I don't know if you can tell that, but I'm going to take another pain pill and try to get some sleep. I don't want you giving her any _s_h_i_t_ for the next few weeks, and I'm going to go tell her right now that I'll teach her how to warm your bare butt if you step out of line again. You got that?"

Tears welled up in my eyes -- which was humiliating all by itself -- but keeping them back I said, "That's not fair."

"You do as she says and you be POLITE and you won't have anything to worry about, okay?" He reached forward and patted my side. "I need your help son" and I did notice then that the color had drained out of his face. I had never seen my dad in pain, and suddenly I just wanted to please him and make him feel better.

He turned away from me, grunting a little, and I put my hand on his good shoulder and said, "Dad?"

He looked at me over his shoulder and I said, "It'll be okay." He smiled at me then, and I felt better. I took my shower, watched TV with him until he fell asleep, and then I went up to my room, got in my bed and passed out until the next morning.

NOTE: Shane has a difficult few days ahead of him. I have some ideas already but, as always, I welcome suggestions. orangecatholic@yahoo. com