I ran across the MMSA Stories list and read Cal's entire Larry saga. It struck a chord from earlier in my life. I was only under a mans discipline for four months but the effect lasts to this day. I am 38 yrs now. The discipline occurred my first semester of freshman year in college. Just when I needed it most.
Id never been spanked before and was shocked when the word first hit my ears. I had been regularly late with assignments in English Literature class the first month. My work, when done, was outstanding. I merely never turned it in on time. The 'A' I eventually received was deserved for substance, not as a reward for my submission. The reward for my submission was the change in my personality.
The third time I went to the professors office to hand in a late paper he shocked me by refusing it. That had never happened. I was used to schmoozing through. Not this time. He told me I was going to learn about consequences. If I wanted to turn in this paper I was going to accept private discipline. My naive brain didn't catch on. "Discipline?" "Yes. On your bare behind. Report to my house on Friday at 8:00 PM. You may turn in your paper then. If you don't show up we'll forget this conversation ever happened but don't bring that paper to class."
I had a decision to make. " On my bare behind?" I vacillated between the possibilities, both undesireable. Rock and hard place. Id never been spanked. I took long walks to consider it. Friday was three days away. The more I thought about it the more I realized my hand was in my pocket. There were eels in my stomach whenever I pictured it. I masturbated thinking about it. I made my decision. I bought new underwear.
Friday evening I paced his neighborhood. Should I be early or was that as bad as being late? Ultimately I knocked on his door at one minute to eight. It opened he waved me in. The first thing he did was ask me for my assignment. He took it from my shaking hand.
"Nervous, son?"
My mouth was dry. "Yes, sir"
"You should be. I am going to spank you"
I swallowed hard and looked at the floor. I couldn't look him in the eye.
He took hold of my upper arm. "Let's get upstairs, son"
I let him guide me to a carpeted room lacking furniture. "Stand here at attention. Ill tell you what is going to happen."
Of course I obeyed. I stood with my heart pounding while he told me how I was expected to behave. To cooperate, to obey. How my pain was only the minor part of why I was there. That the main function of my visit was to prove my remorse at insulting his life's work by my lack of respect. I was to learn respect but first I was to demonstrate my acceptance of his dominance, to prove my apology, by very real and symbolic acts of submission. My stomach flipped around and it got hard to breathe.
He lifted my chin and looked my in the eye, something id been trying to avoid. "Its time for you to undress for your spanking, James. Take off everything. You will be spanked nude"
I stripped. Folding everything neatly I hoped he would let me stop at my underwear. When I was down to this last cover I looked him in the eye pleadingly. "Take it off, son. I want you completely naked."
I slid my underwear down my thighs. Stepped out of them and straightened up. For the first time in my life I as standing exposed by another mans command, my penis fully in view. I closed my eyes and remained at attention. He didn't say anything for several minutes, letting me stew and sweat. It seemed so hot in that room. I could smell my self. I was embarrassed, nervous, shamed. And thrilled. And excited. The longer I stood there the more excited I became. My penis started to relax. It filled and lengthened. My breathing became deeper. I opened my eyes. He was sitting in a chair looking me over.
"How often do you masturbate, James?"
My _c_o_c_k_ twitched. "Every day, Sir"
"So you've masturbated since we last talked"
"Yes, Sir."
"Did you fantasize about being here while you rubbed your penis?"
"Yes, Sir"
"Have you ever exposed yourself like this to another man?"
"No, Sir"
"You have a lovely body, Son. It is going to be a pleasure spanking you. I am going to expose every part of you. Both outside, as you are now, and inside as well. I am going to take your self-control away from you. I am going to take away your control of your emotions. You are going to cry like the small child you are inside. Before long you will have no secrets from me. It is time for you to be severely punished. I want you to think about that for one minute. Then, I am going to take you downstairs and spank you long and hard."
Maybe it was the phrase long and hard that got to me. I stood for that minute and pictured my coming shame. My _c_o_c_k_ got rock hard. I stood before him and went fully erect. Ever since that day the thought of a spanking has the same effect on me. I stand nude, knowing I am to be punished and I go hard. Every time.
He took hold of me and led, hustled, my through his house. Down the stairs, a hallway, through the kitchen, to the finished basement. There was a chair, there was a hairbrush, He sat, and I was pulled over his lap. He took hold of my erection and pulled it outside his thigh "where I can keep an eye on it" he said.
The spanking shocked me. I howled right away. It hurt SO much worse that I thought. All of my brave promises to myself evaporated immediately replaced by promises to him. Of course, he knew exactly what would happen. He was right. I humped and thrashed and gasped and grunted and sobbed and wailed and howled and begged and promised ....and broke.
He broke me. I lost all concern about my nakedness, my humiliation, and my shame. I gave in and cried hard. Wracking gasping crying, just like the small child he said I was. He was right and I needed him to be right. To teach me. To control me. To spank me.
I went on and on and on. Until I couldn't struggle anymore and became nothing more than a crying wailing mass he spanked me. I lay motionless gasping and crying and crying and crying. I had been turned inside out and it was what I needed. Then it stopped.
I don't know how long I lay over his lap weeping while he stroked my back and my legs. And my _c_o_c_k_. He rubbed me and made me hard again. Slowly circled the head and spoke soothingly. He brought me back and stood me up. I had no concern of being hard and on view. I was spanked, and he spanked me. Until he said otherwise I was his.
I was his for the entire semester. He spanked me three more times and each time it was the same. I broke right away. The second time he masturbated me to climax while I lay over his lap gasping. My third spanking was preceded by an enema, " for added humiliation." The last time there were two of us and after our punishment we were ordered to suck each other off for his entertainment. I never found out what the next escalation would have been.