Comments and questions often come from parents. Possibly the following to one Dad with three teenage boys he still spanks will interest MMSA Stories readers? Is he too severe or not severe enough? Here's a Dad, different from myself, yet in many ways the same.
note: the following is posted with the permission of the Father.
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Colin,
Thanks for writing and sharing openly!
Now and again, a parent or stepparent has written, some in extreme detail on the topic of their own boys and their own discipline geared to insure the boy will toe the line. To spank a teenage boy or not? To ground or not? To paddle his fanny or not? What ages? How to spank him? And so forth and so on. I can only share my experience with a few boys. One, Larry, now on full scholarship, is my adopted son and I've written extensively about him. The others have been young men that life has brought me in contact with or for whom friends or friends-of-friends have identified as needing some help. Others, like Mei or Niwat came through their own father, mother or uncle - Niwat needed to stop drinking (he no longer does and is a Grad Student in English); Mei just needed a chance (he still lives in my house, works on some projects with me, but is also back in University). Usually they've been Senior High up, though Bin who Mei brought home when he found him down on his luck in the city was only 14 as was Rual when Paolo asked to bring over his brother from that ranch in the Argentine. They don't all have much in common except for one thing: they all have been spanked.
Sometimes when I'm asked to take on a boy I say, sorry; but if I'm comfortable with the boy and see some potential and possibility (and have time!!!), I always begin by sitting him down and telling him up front that if he wants to stay around here there are specific rules, some basic and set but some he and I will agree to based on what he wants in his own life. Break one and he'll find his jeans and briefs down, sometimes completely off, and I'll take him across my knees and spank him.
I get that look of horror in most of their eyes, utter disbelief and, for sure, all the "but I'm too old" and the other age old excuses, including "but you can't be serious." Yank him up, reach around him and grasp him by the buns and immediately he understands I am perfectly serious. The boy's face will flush, he'll become embarrassed, he'll squirm, some even stutter, but when I say, "You don't believe me? Would you like one now?" immediately he'll reply with a "No, Sir," sometimes the first time he's ever used that word, and at that point he knows I'm serious.
Sure, sometimes one doesn't still believe me - like Bin didn't at first - and then I just take them down right then and there and spank his nice tight bare bottom. When the tears begin, "Please, Sir" or "I'm sorry, Sir" says it all!
We usually talk about the rules and stuff around this place, but at sometime I make it clear that Yes, he'll be spanked for sure if he breaks a rule, but he'll also be spanked sometimes just because I sense he needs to get a things out and re-focus a few thing. Sometimes a boy is spanked here for a reason, but sometimes when you know him well enough, you just sense he needs one and give it to him.
Maybe this sounds extreme, but I've never had a boy leave even though they always know they can. p>I want him to be proud of himself, attain his goals and in that I'll help him in any way I can including tutoring him and showing him how to do his work. He'll be spanked hard when he screws up, sure, but he won't ever be spanked for something I haven't shown him how to do first. My methods might not be everyone's methods, but they are a take it or leave package. The care, the concern, the active help is always there, but so is the spanking.
And he's going to learn to be proud of who he is and his body and self too. Yes, he'll be spanked bare, sometimes naked. And he's never to cover himself or hide himself or try to protect himself from view with his hands. It's an atmosphere around here where he can feel free to be himself. We're not nudists, but briefs are not appropriate when he's waiting for a spanking or standing in the corner after having just had one or even while just crying it out on the living room couch. A boy confined to a short or long sleeved shirt which doesn't quite cover his bottom, flopping open or buttoned shut, or even just a long T-shirt, which doesn't quite go all the way down, or even that jock he's been told to wear will embarrass him, for sure, but it also makes the point. He'll think twice the next time.
When he slips, sometimes even later in the same evening and says something he shouldn't or worse, that flopping shirt makes it very convenient and easy to pull him back over your lap and re-direct some attention to his already rosy bare fanny.
But when spankings become just a natural part of his young life and he's comfortable with himself, often the teenage boy will feel fine in just his briefs around the place anyway, at least those who have been here often have. True, this is a warm climate, but it more a comfort and a freedom to just be his self.
Spankings here are almost always private affairs, in his room or in my study. We talk a lot when and as I strip him, and it takes a long time to spank him over my knees, then add to that the longer time after just holding him on your shoulder and in your arms. Talking it out and re-connecting takes even longer. It's an intimate atmosphere that also involve respect for the boy. No boy likes being spanked, but often the teenage boy comes to like and respect the private time thereafter. Occasionally a teenage or older boy will actually tell you when he's done something and earned a spanking before you find out, or just when he knows he needs a spanking when he's feeling out of sorts and needs some quality attention.
Each boy is different. What gets through to one, what embarrassed one, what helps one move forward, is often never exactly the same for the other.
You write you've raised your own boys, now 13, 14 & 16 for what you say is "alone for almost a dozen years." OK
"They are very active kids and very good kids but like all boys they need love, attention and direction. The boys have been spanked since they were very small and have progressed from the swat on the behind with a small paddle, to the hairbrush and now to a fairly stout belt or strap." Those with me, though never small, are also always spanked, always over my knees and the same goes for Larry the oldest, who's now in Graduate School whenever he needs one, and Paolo still in Sao Paulo with the retired German man who favors a fine leather slipper.
"When the boys were small they took their punishment with their pants down and over my knee. As they got older I experimented a bit with different positions but once the oldest one reached 11-12 I went to having them lie on their bed for punishment. I am not a physically big man and I found that with fairly large boys over my knee punishment sessions became more a wrestling match than a spanking....so over the bed they went. Not only that, Cal, but I really find it very hard to use a strap when they are in any other position so while I still put them over the knee for a short hairbrush spanking, the major punishment is always on the bed."
In my case over here, the strap I use is about 12 inches and made for the hand to apply it to the boy's bare bottom while up over my lap. The teenager is at this point trying to balance himself with his hands on the ground in front or him or holding on to my left ankle. With his bare ass high up over my lap and his feel often not touching the floor, he's more concerned with what's coming to that nice tight bare bottom than anything else right then. Typically though I only use my hand, though occasionally a small punishment paddle that the boy had made himself comes in handy. I've never had one turn into a "wrestling match" (as you mention above) but then again my boys have all understood that a switch can always be nearby.
"Over the past few years when I have taken the strap to their behinds I have usually left their underwear up. However, for any punishment they wear tight boxer briefs, which I find provide a good spanking area from the top of the butt to an area well down the thigh. For a regular type punishment I use the whole area and when the major part is over, as I said, I finish with an otk bare bottom spanking. This "final reminder" as I call it is very useful in setting the tone for their behavior. I decided on letting them keep their underwear on for the strapping when my oldest boy began getting fully erect for punishment. Rather than embarrass him even more the boxer briefs seemed like a good solution. He, and his brothers, wear plain boxers most of the time, but never for punishment. They have gotten fairly wise about this however and now most of the time wear rather long Jockey boxer briefs although sometimes it is the 2(x) lst ones with the completely smooth butt."
Nothing wrong with special tight boxer briefs reserved for a spanking. Actually I know of several men who have special clothing the boy only wears when it's time to be spanked, but for me, it's always on his bare bottom. I suppose if there are any special clothing things that I've used, it would relate more to the fact that I myself take down the boy's jeans and briefs while I'm holding them as we're talking about why they are being spanked and I'm listening to their side. The tails of their shirt or the length of their T-shirt is a special garment, I suppose; but the advantage, in my mind, is that they are bare just not completely. The tension soars.
"While the boys do not seem to need spankings too often, perhaps one a month, when I spank them it is for good reason and the spanking is soundly delivered. They are well trained after having received corporal punishment for so many years and accept the spankings quite readily."
Agree, and once it's decided that a boy is going to be spanked. Listen, yes; but he's going to be spanked.
"I know you prefer to spank bare bottom, but I really find that having them in boxer briefs is also very good."
Yes, but again the relationship I have with the boy's I've spanked might be different and it works for me. I see nothing wrong with boxers and doubt other men who spank would either. What works best with the boy and what you decide is always the way to go.
"Normally a spanking is delivered after dinner in the boy's room. After chores he is sent to his room and he strips to his shorts and lies face down on the bed with his but elevated by a pillow. The punishment strap I use is basically a wide doubled belt and when I come to the boy's room he is expected to have it readily available. The punishment is then delivered rather quickly and unless there is some extenuating circumstance the young man is put directly to bed."
Having them wait until a specific hour and place, after dinner, seems to work for many people who write. For me, though, it's a much longer process and we often talk for hours.
"Unless two of the boys have been involved in something I punish them in private although on more than one occasion all three have gotten the strap in one session. A couple of times I stripped all three and punished them in succession for serious misbehavior. Under normal conditions the boys strip down in the privacy of their rooms without me present. For serious offenses I am present or even strip them myself."
For me, it really depends on the boy and the depth of relationship you establish. Teenage boys, in my experience, need a LOT of time, but then, I've dealt with teenage boys who we begin together with when then are teenagers and up. You're talking about a relationship that began in childhood. That's something I can't comment on.
"While most of their friends do not still get spankings I know that several dads still put a paddle or strap to their boys. I add one punishment which is not really physical, but which is meant as a reminder to the boys after a session with the strap. After being punished I may have the boy wear as his underwear a full-length union suit for a day or two. It is not painful but it certainly reminds him to behave. They don't much like it, but they do it and handle it pretty well."
Yes, while many, maybe even "most" boys don't still get spanked these days, I'm amazed at how many still do! Frequently teenagers write about their feelings on this subject when they are spanked. It's much more common that people talk about. One really great guy near London complained for a year that he was 16 and still got spanked "but this time is the last time forever I'm sure." Now he's 17 and still saying he's sure it's the last time forever. It isn't. But then again, he can dream, can't he? Bottom line: it's not his decision.
"I would appreciate any comments you might have on this disciplinary style. I always look forward to your articles in MMSA Stories and hope you will continue to write. You may use my situation for illustrative purposes in your articles so long as there is no mention of any names."
Actually when I finally found some time to reply to this, there were two other similar messages. Thus, I'll e-mail this to you and also post it. Who knows? Maybe others will be interested?
"And I would very much like to hear how you handle _s_e_x_ual arousal during spankings. I know that the two oldest boys have both ejaculated into their shorts during punishment and so far, I have let it go without comment."
It happens all the time (_s_e_x_ual arousal) often before and often, but sometimes even during and though it seems to depend on the particular boy, some do cum. Sometimes this really upsets a boy. A few have written about it and were really bothered! One American boy was so upset he headed straight for the Psychologist. But around here maybe it's the intimately of the family or relationships we have, but we talk openly about everything. If it happens, it happens and if the guy wants to talk about it we do. It's normal though for some, certainly not all, boys and the teenage boys I have spanked have all just come to know that. The worst that happens, if it happens here, is that my own jeans go into the Laundry. Such is life!
One thing I consider important though, no matter what happens. Once I say I'm going to spank him, I do. Whether he begs, pleads, cried, squirms, is stoic, or cums all over the place or whatever, it makes no difference. He's still spanked until I decide he's had enough. Usually, the boy is not eager to repeat it.
Maybe others out there in MMSA Stories want to comment?
Cal