My Step-Dad Glen - Part 7
My sophomore year of high school began, and I really missed my free summer days. On Friday of our first week of school Peter and I ditched our last period class to start our weekend early (don't really know what we were thinking, looking back on it). We hopped a bus to the mall to hang out in the arcade there, but as we neared the entrance to the mall itself I stopped cold, grabbing Peter's arm.
My dad was just coming out as we rounded the corner. He was with a dark haired woman, and I was sure he hadn't seen us. As Peter and I hid behind a large planter watching through the leaves of a small palm tree my dad hugged the woman he was with and then they kissed, looked into each other's eyes, and hugged tightly again.
I felt like the whole world was crashing down around me, and there was literally a roaring in my ears -- kind of like you hear when you put a seashell to your ear, except that this also had a kind of pressure from the inside of my head. I was suddenly very lightheaded and I had to look away. They still hadn't parted, and I didn't want to see them kiss again.
"Oh, my God" Peter whispered.
I sat down with my back to the planter and had to bend my head forward. I suddenly felt very sick.
"Oh, man" said Peter. "What do we do? What are YOU going to do?"
I was suddenly flushed with anger and I jumped up and walked around the corner of the building away from where my dad and that woman were. Peter followed calling after me, but I already had tears in my eyes and I didn't want him to see so I just waived angrily over my shoulder and told him to leave me alone. Peter knows me pretty well, and he thankfully let me be.
I walked all the way home instead of taking the bus. I really needed the time, and I felt kind of anonymous out there on the street, even as I wiped angrily at my eyes every few minutes. I couldn't decide whether to confront him or to just tell my mom or to make him tell her. I was so angry and so hurt and so disillusioned. A couple of times as I passed bus benches I sat on them and put my head down between my legs until I felt well enough to stand up again.
It took me three hours to get home, and my mom was just putting dinner on the table. I had been practicing not crying for the last hour, and when my dad came out and said, "Hi!" smiling at me I had to look away.
"Hi" I mumbled. My mind was flooded with questions and accusations, but I had to force them away or I knew I would lose it right then and there. I guess I was pretty quiet and surly through dinner because my dad suddenly slapped the table lightly and said, "All right. What's up?"
"What do you mean?" I asked, without looking at him.
"I mean I don't like your attitude this evening, and you seem upset about something" he said.
I just shrugged in response. What was I supposed to say?
"Would you sit up straight please and at least look at us when we're talking to you?" he said, pretty kindly for the circumstances, which made me even angrier.
Without asking to be excused I got up, threw my napkin in my plate, and stepped away from the table.
"Ryan -- " my dad started, but I interrupted him and said, "Don't even talk to me right now" and turned to walk away.
"Ryan halt" my dad said, but I didn't care to obey him just then and, really pushing it, I looked at him over my shoulder letting him see the tears in my eyes and just whispered, "Oh, _f_u_c_k_ you" and walked away again.
"Ryan!" my mother said. If she sounded shocked now, she had no idea how bad it was going to get.
My dad was suddenly on top of me, his hand gripping my upper arm painfully, and he shook me hard and said, "What is the matter with you?"
"Get away from me!" I said, yanking free of his grip and pushing him as hard as I could with both of my hands.
I was crying openly then and my mom stood up and said, "Ryan, what on Earth -- " but I interrupted her and yelled at my dad, "I saw you, okay?!? I was at the mall today! I hate you!!!" and I turned and fled the room. I ran up the stairs to my room, blinded with tears, and flopped down on my bed after slamming my door hard.
Just a few minutes later my door opened and I heard my dad say, "Ryan Mitchell, sit up and look at me."
I turned defiantly and was momentarily startled to see both my parents standing there, my mother smiling. "The woman you saw me with" my dad said, "was my cousin, Linda."
"I was there, too, honey" my mom said. "Didn't you see me?"
"No" I whispered, suddenly feeling like the room was spinning.
My mom looked at my dad and said, "I must have been in the ladies room, remember?"
Hot tears stung my eyes and I said, "Dad -- you -- do you -- REALLY?" I finally blurted.
"Come here" said my father, pointing gravely at his feet.
I walked over to him and threw my arms around him, hugging him tightly. He patted my side with one hand and said, "Look at me, son."
I did what he said, and he continued. "How could you even THINK I'd cheat on your mom? I mean, did you really think that I could -- that I " I interrupted because he looked so hurt, not even mad, and I started kissing him all over his face and saying, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry" and he let me and then pulled me to him.
"Ryan!" he finally said, exasperated, but didn't continue.
My mother stroked the back of my head and said, "I understand how upset you were, Ryan, but you behaved very badly tonight."
"Yes, ma'am" I said, embarrassed, and pulled back from my dad. I wiped at my nose. I looked into my dad's eyes then and said, "I'm so relieved. Oh, God, dad. I'm so sorry" and again I flung my arms around him and he hugged me tightly. Then my mother put her arms over both our shoulders and gave us both a tight hug.
My dad patted my side then and said, "Sit down, son" and pointed to my desk chair. I sat and he said, "What were you doing at the mall at that time of day?"
Uh-oh, I thought. "Peter and I were going to the arcade" I said, quietly.
"Why weren't you in school, son?" he asked in his most no-nonsense tone.
"We kind of ditched last period" I said, looking at the floor.
"Oh, Ryan" said my mom.
"Look at me, son" my dad said, and my head snapped up in compliance.
He held up one finger and said, "You ditched school." Holding up a second finger he said, "You spent half the day thinking terrible, terrible things about your dad who loves you." He said this with a smile, then held up a third finger and said, "You were openly defiant at dinner AND used the 'F' word" another finger went up, "and that's four, buddy. I don't think I can ignore that."
"I'm really sorry, dad" I said, and I really meant it.
"You want to trade places with me there?" he said, indicating with his hands that I should stand. As I stood up he sat in my chair and grabbed my belt buckle. I knew what was coming and I didn't fight him. He undid my pants and pushed them down to my ankles, then pulled me over his lap.
As he grabbed the waistband of my boxers I said, "Dad!" hoping my mom would take the hint and leave. She said, "I'll go" and turned away as my dad pulled my boxers just barely down below my butt, but my dad said, "No, honey. Stay, will you? I think Ryan needs to spend a little quality time with his mom and dad" and then without any warning he gave me six hard smacks on my bare butt. SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
"Ow! Ow! OW!" I said on the last three.
My dad's hand rested on my butt cheek and he said, "If you EVER ditch school again, son, I'll beat your backside to a bright glowing red, you got that?" SMACK! went his hand once again.
"Yes, sir!" I said, staring at the floor.
He rubbed my butt and said, "I think you've had an awful day, so I'm taking that into account and letting you off a little easy" and he yanked up my boxers and pulled me to my feet. I just stood there with my pants down around my ankles as he pointed at me and said, "I want you to have a little more faith in your dad, and I'd better NEVER catch you ditching school."
"Yes, sir" I said. "I'm really, really sorry, dad."
"And watch your language" he said.
"Yes, sir" I said, tugging awkwardly at the bottom of my shirt, even though he had let me keep my underpants up.
He suddenly stood up and I was momentarily afraid I was going to get it some more, but he just walked over to my dresser, pulled out a pair of my underwear and my sweat pants and put them on the chair where he had been sitting.
"Step out of those" he said, nodding at my pants, and I kicked them off my feet. He stepped over and pulled my shirt off my head and when I asked him what he was doing he said, "You're going to hop in the shower. Then you can put these on and come lay down with your mom and me." As he said that he threw my shirt into the dirty clothes pile I kept in my closet and grabbed the waistband of my boxers.
"Dad!" I said, glancing at my mom and grabbing his wrist.
"Put your hands down" he said, kindly but in a tone I didn't dare disobey.
He turned me slightly away from my mom and yanked my boxers down and off. I gulped as I stepped out of them, now stark naked in front of both of them. "Okay, naked boy" he said, patting my side and smiling. "Go get in the shower" and I turned around and ran out of the room, careful to keep my front turned away from my mom.
I quickly took a shower and as I turned it off I heard both my parents come into the bathroom. I ducked my head out the shower curtain and my dad was holding a towel. He hooked his finger in a "come here" gesture and I gulped again, glanced at my mom, and then stepped out of the shower holding my hands down in front to cover myself. I laughed nervously as I did it, feeling very silly rather than ashamed.
My mom was nice enough to stand behind me, and she took another towel and dried my back as my dad dried my hair. I took the towel from him and finished drying myself off in front, standing as close to him as possible with my back to my mom. As I started to wrap the towel around my waist my dad took it from me and tossed it over the shower curtain. "Maybe you should just stay naked the rest of the night" he said, smiling.
I slouched and said, "No, come on."
He laughed and said, "Gimme kiss" and tapped his lower lip. I kissed him quickly, and as I ran out of the room he smacked my butt pretty hard.
"Didn't hurt!" I yelled from the hall (which was kind of a lie) and I quickly pulled my shorts and sweat pants on. It was a very warm evening so I didn't pull on a shirt. I went down the hall to my parents' bedroom and they were both standing there waiting for me, looking at me.
"What?" I said.
"Come here" my dad said, and held out his arms. He pulled me to him, and then I felt my mom come up and hug me from behind. As I was sandwiched there between them my dad said, "Your mother and I love each other very much, Ryan. If you ever, ever doubt that again I want you to ask me directly. Do you understand what I'm saying, son?"
"Yes, sir" I said. "I'm sorry, dad."
"All right" he said, kissing my forehead. "I know you're sorry, but I want you to be clear that I want you to come and tell us when you feel that something is wrong. Can you do that?"
"Yes, sir" I said, nodding my head.
"Good boy" he said, and kissed me again, this time just below my right eye.
We all climbed into their bed then and lay down together, talking about nothing in particular. They both tickled me on and off, and at some point I think I forgave MYSELF for all the awful things I had been thinking and doing that day.
I must have dozed off at some point because I felt my dad's hand on my chest, shaking me gently. When I opened my eyes he whispered, "Time to go get in your own bed" and I saw that he was just in his underwear. The clock said 11:40. He put his finger to his lips in a "shhhh" gesture and pointed to my mom who was sleeping behind me.
"Do you want me to come with you?" he whispered.
"No, sir" I whispered back, and then I hugged him and pressed my forehead against his. "I love you, dad."
Our foreheads still pressed together he kissed me and said, "Love you, too" and patted my side.