Date: 04-05-100 10:50 AM
RE: "A Reply To A Dad"
Dear Cal,
You may recall that we corresponded for a bit some time ago, regarding the discipline of my young ward, Jason. Your comments and advice were absolutely invaluable to me. Since instituting regular spanking for misbehavior, Jason has become a whole new boy, and much for the better! So I felt I should respond to your recent posting at the MMSA Stories spanking web site, "A Reply To A Dad."
I agree with you that spankings should always be applied to the bare bottom. The father's concern for his sons' modesty is touching, but I strongly disagree with spanking them in boxer briefs. It isn't the physical protection of the cotton; it's the psychological barrier the briefs represent which bothers me. A better choice for fathers who have concerns about this, I think, would be to have their sons wear an athletic supporter ("jockstrap") for spankings. Those garments enclose the young man's genitals, while leaving his buttocks fully bared. I do not permit Jason any covering.
It is true that, for some men, a spanking may indeed turn into the "wrestling match" your correspondent described, especially as the boy matures physically and becomes stronger. The boy's natural reaction as the pain increases, is to get away from those searing smacks any way he can. I had a couple such experiences with Jason. I can offer a solution which you are welcome to share with others, which has worked very well for me. The second time Jason attempted to to get away from me with violent physical struggling, I warned him to hold still and "take it like a man," as we Yanks say, or I would be forced to tie him. When he proved unwilling (or unable) to do so, I made good on my threat. I used inexpensive plastic "zip strips" to secure his wrists and ankles together, then carefully overbalanced him across my lap to continue the spanking -- i. e., with his feet off the floor and most of his center of gravity pushed forward into his torso and shoulders. Any further vestige of a "wrestling match" was obvious, as it is impossible for a boy secured and overbalanced in this way to make an effectual struggle. Moreover, Jason had to master the helpless sensation of being bound at the wrists and ankles very intensely! However I informed him that, if he couldn't learn to control himself and accept his punishment properly, I would have no choice but to employ the zip-strips. I have only had to use them once again, since that first time, and all semblance of a "wrestling match" has disappeared.
The issue of erections and involuntary orgasms is a difficult one for many men; I know it was awkward for me. What is one to say, when you gather the weeping boy up into your arms after spanking for private time, and realize there is a large sticky-wet puddle on your trousers? My policy is to simply ignore it. Sometimes this sort of thing happens, and I see no need to call particular attention to it. If the lad is upset or bothered by this reaction, though, I think dads ought to explain that it is a common reaction l" out of it is likely only to increase the boy's concern, I think.
Jason has voluntarily, if reluctantly, come to me twice now with confessions which he knew would result in a spanking. The first time, I was secretly rather startled, although of course I didn't let the boy see it. He has accepted fully the set of rules we worked out over dinner all those months ago, which as I wrote you I made him sign. I promised he would be spanked for any transgression of those rules, and I have kept my word. At first, that meant a LOT of spankings! However, Jason has now become accustomed to the rules, to an extent where a whole month may pass without my needing to spank him.
Your advice, however, about spanking a boy once you've said you will spank him, is what I consider truly sterling counsel. With some misgivings, I confess, I've held to that counsel from the very beginning. Jason would beg, and plead, and whimper and make absurd promises, all of which I listened to patiently -- and then I spanked him. He has learned not to preface his punishment with a litany of whining and pleading, as he understands, now, that it will do him no good. In a way, I think it is almost a reassurance of sorts to him. I have said what I'm going to do, and I do it. No flip-flops or giving him "one more chance" which makes for uncertainty.
The advice I gleaned from you about a boy's personal paddle has really proved extremely useful, and I must thank you for it, Cal. Ever since that day in my friend Dean's workshop, when we coached Jason through the woodworking to make his personal paddle, it is THAT particular instrument he fears and hates more than any other. He has some psychic connection with that handled bit of wood I don't quite understand -- all I know is Jason is terrified of a spanking with it. I reserve it strictly for the most serious of offenses. I don't perfectly understand why a boy develops that particular regard for a "personal paddle," but I can't recommend it highly enough. I think, perhaps, it might even work (in circumstances where woodworking would be difficult) to have a boy choose an already manufactured paddle, on his own, with no prompting.
The issue of privacy has been a concern for me. On one hand, I feel that spanking my ward is a very private matter, just between us two. On the other hand, it occurs to me that the threat of public spanking might have an extremely powerful deterrent effect for really egregiously-bad behavior. Something like using drugs, or driving under the influence, for example. I haven't had any such problems with Jason, and I don't expect to. However, I thought it prudent to at least plant the seeds of the idea that I was capable of spanking him in public, if need be. Jason had a birthday a couple months ago. There is an antiquated custom here in the States of a "birthday spanking" -- one smack for each year of the boy's age, plus the traditional "...and one to grow on." He had a small birthday party here at home, with a few of his friends from college. At the height of the festivities, I announced it was time for his birthday spanking. Even the boys and girls who'd never received one were familiar with the concept, and there was much glee and cat-calling. Of course I didn't have his trousers down; it was meant as a joke, but a joke "with a point" as it were. Jason looked rather terrified for a moment though, wondering I imagine whether I was going to tell him to drop his jeans. Instead I played the kindly old papa (which is not much of a stretch for me!), and pulled out one of the dining-room chairs, and helped him down over my lap. His friends laughed and counted along as I gave him twenty rather firm smacks across the seat of his jeans, and one quite-forceful whack as the "one to grow on." He was astoundingly red-faced when I let him up again, and actually very sheepish as his friends joked and chaffed him about still getting a birthday spanking. Nevertheless, I believe the threat implicit in my little joke was thoroughly understood. Jason knows I would spank him in public.
Thanks again for all your excellent advice! I can't begin to tell you what it has meant to my relationship with Jason. I set out to make something of a young man with few opportunities, and the sort of discipline you describe is helping me to do that beyond my greatest expectations. You may feel free to republish or redistribute this or any part of it, but please withhold my name.
Regards,
[name withheld by request]