So - I am hauling ass through the deep dark forest. The last thing that I can remember is us helping Buttcrack (Joey) off of the root that he was being butt-stuffed on. The poor dude was crying with the humiliation. THat's when we heard the horses. And what sounded like a battle horn. And that was that. Screw pledge bonds, I'm not attending that Jamboree.
I ran like my feet were on fire and my ass was catching. I have to admit - running around the forest primeval here dressed like a sherrif from the Middle Ages, I was kind of getting into it. Except that the t-back thong yoking my buttcheeks wasn' exactly the most comfortable thing to run in.
What seemed like an hour later, I was lost. REALLY lost. All I needed to do was get to the highway. But it was nowhere in sight. And that's when caught sight of the cabin.
Oh _s_h_i_t_! I'd come in a complete circle! The Jamboree was on the hill right in front of me! I heard whooping and laugter, the kind you hear at a really good beer bust. And I was curious to see if my fellow Butts had been caught. Gil (Buttface), Spike (Buttpie), and Joey (Buttcrack). All I know for sure is that they're not catching Buttplug (that's me - Scotty...).
I crept closer...through the brush, being incredibly quiet. I managed to circle the cabin and find a nice spot behind a tree to view everything. And what I saw shocked me.
There were more Butts.
Our fraternity had neglected to tell us that the chapter from the neighboring college would be attending Robin Hood's Jamboree as well. And I was shocked to discover that Hell Year and being a Butt wasn't just restricted to our college and us four.
Ladies and Gentleman, meet Buttcheeks, Buttwipe, Buttbuddy, and Buttmunch.
And along with Buttface and Buttcrack - they were having the time of their lives at the Jamboree...
SCENES FROM THE ROBIN HOOD JAMBOREE
1) Gil (Buttface) had apparently been elected the cook. A large pig was roasting on a spit. A rotating spit. Gil was powering this spit by stepping up and down on a stairmaster-type device which made the spit and pig turn. Gil's motivation? Well he had been stripped bareass and Evan had hooked up a large paddle which was spanking him unmercifully. And if he slowed down, he got spanked faster. His rump was already bright red, and he had both wrists tied behind his back and a ballgag. He was pleading behind the gag. His butt was bouncing under that merciless paddle which just kept spanking him. He just kept marching and that pig kept roasting nicely.
2) I noted that the new arrivals Buttbuddy and Buttwipe (the new guys had nametags around their necks) had been turned into human benches for Rick and Matt. Rick and Matt had brought a TV with them and were watching the Sox on it. Buttbuddy and Buttwipe had been stripped down to just their tights and thongs. Both were on their hands and knees, facing each other with miserable looks on their faces. Rick and Matt were astride their backs. using them as chairs. In front of the guys was a cooler full of bottles of beer. I was about to see what Buddy and Wipe looked so miserable.
"Another beer, Little John" Matt asked Rick - keeping up their Robin Hood game.
"Surely, Will Scarlett." said Rick.
In synchronized motion, Rick and Matt got two beer bottles out of the coolers in front of them. Then, eyes never leaving the Red Sox game, they each pulled down the tights of Buttbuddy and Buttwipe. Both Butts moaned. Rick and Matt then pulled down the guys thongs, and that's when I noticed that there was some kind of white plastic thing sticking out their rear ends.
Rick and Matt clinked bottles and then stuck them into the beefy pledge asses under them.
Buttbuddy and Buttwipe had been turned into human bottle openers! They had to uncap beer bottles with their butts!
They clenched their asses, squirming and moaning trying like hell to get the caps off of their respective bottles of beer.
"C'mon, you varlets! Squeeze those hindquarters! I'm thirsty." Rick bellowed good-naturedly and Matt laughed, and gave Buttwipe a slap on his broad buns.
Buttwipe yelped and wiggled his ass. There was a corking sound, and beer foamed everywhere! He'd done it! Buttbuddy was still having trouble with his. Rick reached over and squeezed Buttbuddy's buns together. He then yanked out the bottle!
"Yeow!" said Buttbuddy. His face contorted in pain and humilation.
"Maybe if we shaved their asses, they could do it faster. Evan keeps his Butts shaved." Matt mused as Buddy and Wipe looked at each other, mortified beyond embarrasment.
"Good idea. As soon as this game ends, these Sherrifs of Buttingham are going to meet Sir AC Norelco". Rick said as he slapped the tight buttcakes underneath and to the left of him. I realized that Buttwipe bore a strong resemblance to Brett Favre and Buttbuddy had kind of a Bruce Willis thing going on. The two pledges began protesting as I turned my attention to the next spectacle near me.
To be continued...anyone got anymore suggestions for the Jamboree, email me.