8/12/12
Dad -
Look at this - an actual, honest to goodness letter! And from me, no less! Who would have thought either of us would see the day that I actually sat down and wrote a real 3-D letter to you! (I hope you didn't have a heart-attack, old man! haha!!) You better save this, because who knows when I will write another!!
(Can you TELL I've been drinking? That Glen and his German liquor! sheesh!!)
I can't tell you how much I wish you and Sandra and the girls could have been here this last week. It just doesn't seem like the Olympics without you guys! I understand why, and hope you got them settled into their dorm rooms (tell them Big Bro Matt said to be good! - haha!), but I hope you appreciate what a struggle it was for me to get through all of the excitement without you all here!!! (insert sarcasm)
The drive down from Philadelphia was uneventful. It did take almost seven hours, what with all of the traffic going into Washington and Baltimore, but I got to watch her soap opera and Hannah got to watch some of the research tapes, and Benny slept most of the way down. We should have taken the train, but the drive wasn't that bad.. We did stop in Delaware and see Alan, my old college buddy. I got caught up with him and Gerard. That was nice. The two of them are still f-ups, I know you'll be happy to hear.
The hotel they put us up in here in Baltimore is terrific - right near the Inner Harbor! Nice perks!! The best advice you ever gave me was to tell me to marry a sports reporter for the Philadelphia Inquirer (ok, so you didn't actually say THAT, but you did say I'd be a fool if I didn't marry Hannah!). And before you ask, we still don't know anything about the TV gig - she is suppose to have a meeting out in Reston, Virginia with someone from ESPN before we have to leave, but things are so hectic it might have to wait until sometime in late September (he's thinking the 24th). I will keep you posted!
Otherwise, she's busy as a bee. I haven't seen much of her this week. Her folks have come up from Richmond, and are spoiling their grandbaby. The contrast between how you and Sandy treat Ben, and how Gloria and Glen treat him is hysterical - you guys see him so often he's almost like a piece of furniture (something that is just there), but with them it turns into a huge Worship The Baby Event. Glen is already talking to him about Deer Hunting (sheeesh!). Anyway, I'm not complaining because it freed me up to go see some of the events by myself.
The only thing I'm bummed about is that I really wish we could have made it for the Opening Ceremony down in Washington, but we watched it on the jumbo-tron over at the Oriole Park at Camden - sorry, I mean YAHOO YARDS! (haha) After all of these years it still doesn't feel right to call it anything other than Camden, huh? What were they thinking, letting one of baseball's most prestigious ballparks being named after a company named YAHOO?! I would have though Senator Ripken would have been able to stop that, but I suppose when it comes to the big bucks, no tradition is sacred. But, please - even after more than a decade, and even if they had doubled it to a billion dollars for the naming rights, it just isn't right!
(Ok...must pause and reflect - I am sounding like you...breathe in...breathe out...I am not an old cranky man...I may be cranky, but 28 is far from old!)
What a great idea that was, huh, doing the Opening Ceremonies there in Washington on the national mall? I could not think of anything more beautiful than seeing that spectacle of all of the world's athletes flanked by the Washington Monument and the Capital Dome, right among the Smithsonian Institute's buildings! Whew! Hannah got to go, but like I said, we (Ben and Hannah's family) stayed in Charm City to watch it on the 'tron. It may be called the "Baltimore-Washington Olympics," but Baltimore got the shaft when it came to that. We are all planning on going down on Sunday to DC to see some of the track and field - Gloria is really looking forward to that. She loves hearing my stories of our wild trip to Beijing four years ago.
So, speaking of "YAHOO FIELD," I have to tell you who I ran into at the ball game - one of the kids from the old neighborhood! Not one that you remember, but one that I sure do - Dawn Ellston! (Actually, these day's she's Dawn Oster, even though she and her husband got divorced three years ago). It just flipped me out, to be going to the Korea and Canada baseball game, out in the bleachers, and I recognize this attractive young woman in front of me as a girl I grew up with hundreds of miles away!
To refresh your memory, she is the older sister of Ike's partner, Donnie Ellston. She dropped out of school to have a kid like back in 1999, and went and got her GED. Donnie didn't talk about her too much (which was funny, because he talked and talked and talked about everything else, unless he was stuffing his mouth with something). She was really nice, but she had the reputation of being the school whore, which wasn't helped when she had a kid!
Anyway, I sort of lost track of her, occasionally hearing something about this or that. I had heard she got married, but that was it. OH! She did keep the kid, and he was the reason she was there at the game - Novak is a huge baseball fan (That's right, she named the kid "Novak" - it seems that she was a big fan of the movie "Vertigo" - go figure).
So, I lean in and reintroduce myself to her, and she instantly remembered me. We cracked up. She had not changed at all, and she said that I hadn't either, which was a big lie, but that's ok. What's that you once said..."When a cute girl gives you a compliment, you take it." Very profound you were, Dad, back in the day.
She turned out to be a lawyer (try not to to get sick). She and Novak live in New York City, which she says is nice because she can see Donnie and Ike often - they have a place in "the village." It sounds like she is making a small fortune, and did I mention that she was still hot?!
(calm down - calm down - it's like you also use to say..."Just because you are on a diet doesn't mean you can't look at the menu."!)
We must have talked a solid three innings without even glancing at the game. Some Canadians behind me got a little pissy, ("How a-boot you two go someplace else for yer reunion, eh?") but they can go stick a moose up their ass for all I care! It's not every day you get to get caught up with an old friend.
I told her all about Gavin, and how is about done with medical school in Boston, and she totally flipped when I told her who he was engaged to. She told me that Vincent is still into the starving artist routine (something I already knew) and how it's driving his brother, Ike, up the wall. We both kind of tip-toed around the subject of "Lee" and the fact that he is pretty much supporting Vin until he gets on his feet. She did say that he (Lee) had the patience of a saint for dealing with "Mr. Brooding Artist." Funny - I never thought of Lee like that (he certainly wasn't patient when I made him wait a year before I finally cashed in on an "IOU" he had written for me - HAHA! - remind me to tell you about that one sometime), but sometimes it helps to see someone through someone else's eyes! It is true in this case, though - here Lee is, busting his ass at two jobs, while Vince is sitting around not sending his slides out like he says he will, instead watching the endless reruns of "Family Matters" on Nick at Night trying to be inspired.
Still, I am glad Vince has someone so understanding. After the deaths in his family, I was relieved Lee was there - the two of them have been through so much. Vince, at this point, needs someone who knows that he will do it, and someone who won't let him give up on himself. I feel less guilty for not having stayed in close contact with him, knowing that he does have Lee, and (to a lesser degree) Ike.
The two of them (Vince and Lee) still have a very weird, very complicated relationship. They are not like Donnie and Ike, in that they aren't ready to be these two gay stereotypes and go antiquing in the rustic towns of West Virginia, but in their own ways...oh, who knows. I think Vince is afraid that he would let his family down if he also turned out gay, like his brother, and what that might really mean, while Lee makes it crystal clear that he is very much attracted to women (even if he does sleep with the occasional man). Nevertheless, the two of them really, really, really do love each other, and this is clear to everyone - even you called it years ago.
(sorry, Dad - I'm sure I've passed the "Too Much Information" line, huh? Blame the booze!)
Gavin and I talk about all of them every once in awhile. Sometimes the discussion drifts back to when we were kids, and if anything from then influenced how they are today (how WE are today!). We always come to the conclusion that we would never be the men we are if it wasn't because of the situations that we were put in back then - by you, no less. I am amazed that the two of us stayed friends after "the turn," but who knew that's what Gavin was looking for all along, and he actually relished being The Little Kid once again? First the situation with Gavin "raising" me, then me having to help Gavin. Very odd snake-eating-a-snake thing, Dad. If I didn't know better, I really would have believed you that you really did plan that all along!!!
But I know you better (haha).
Those were pretty intense times, Dad. It was a lot to have to deal with, in a very short period of time. There was the spankings (the many, many spankings). There was the struggle for Gavin to overcome wetting the bed. There was the stuff with Vincent and his family (stuff I told you about, and some stuff I didn't). Through it all, I am very surprised I am who I am today. I suppose I have you to thank for that. Even at your strictest, Dad, I never doubted your love or your support, and that got me through more than I even realized then. I don't think I can even fully comprehend the place I was at that time - my darkest place, Dad, was pretty dark. Anyway, I hope I can be you at your best with Ben (no, that's not meant as a backhanded compliment).
I do wonder, especially in relation to you, if Gavin and I did turn out like Ike and Donnie, or like Vin and Lee. How would you have reacted if I had come to you and announced that I was gay, because (to be 100% honest here - _d_a_m_n_ this Jagermeister!) there was a few times during that period of my life that I did question myself, as did poor Gavin, who was so young and so confused. I still blame myself for that thing at that place, but that's ancient, ancient history. I have to wonder how you would have coped with having a gay son. Would you have been like Dawn and Donnie's folks, who were so cool about it they held a party when Don and Ike got "hitched," or would you have been like Lee's folks who (even at the HINT) did... well... never mind. No need to bring up the old High School wrestling trip story again.
I am so proud of Gavin, Dad. He is really a great man. Honest and kind and funny, just like when he was a kid. Remind me to tell you the shoplifting story sometime (in case he hasn't already!), because it's classic Gavin being the honest boy scout (even if he was never one, despite Mr. Gallagher's best intentions)! He was overly honest, if you ask me! And what he did, after Vincent lost his grandfather, is really one of the sweetest things - I still think about that, and think to myself, "MAN! Is this the same kid that I had to spank practically at least once a week for six years for being a brat?" Then there is that sense of humor - the fact that he dressed up as "Baby New Year," in a DIAPER for the New Years Eve 1999/2000 party you threw, even though he had just licked wetting the bed (and had been touchy about it), showed so much class (in a weird little way). Only a couple of us knew about his problem, but Gavin had, that night, also overcome his over-seriousness and started to laugh at himself. Really, really impressed me.
Can you tell I miss him? Almost as much as you. He is my little brother, after all. I'm so happy Hannah likes him too, but that might change...I haven't told her who his fiance is! Shhh! Don't you dare say a word when we get back next week!
So, I have to tell you what happened at the baseball game - I never can escape "IT" Dad...I couldn't HELP but think of you!!!!
Sometime during the sixth inning, Dawn's son, Novak, was really, really acting up. He was pissed that his mother had totally ignored him for half the game, so he started standing up on his seat, he started leaning on the people in front of him, he started yelling that the Korean pitcher "SH-ucked!" (get it - instead of saying "Sucked" - the twisted mind of an almost teenager never ceases to amaze me).
I just ignored him (silently praying that Ben doesn't turn out like that!), but to my shock Dawn is not the kind of mother who deals with that kind of behavior! In fact, she announced right then and there (for ALL to hear) that if he didn't behave himself, and started acting like a mature young man, that he would be spanked!
(Sandra would be so proud! It totally reminded me that time at Franklen's Restaurant when she suggested to me that I actually take Gavin out to the car and spank him after he acted up!!! You know how to pick them, Dad!! God, I love that woman of yours!!!!)
Everyone around us at the game turned and looked and started chuckling at poor Novak. Well, this ticked off his willful young self, and he stared at some older couple sitting next to me and said, "What are you looking at?!"
That was all she needed - Dawn had HAD IT! I mean, she reached around and grabbed his arm, and before he knew what time it was, she was escorting him up the aisles. She told me she would be right back, that she was taking him to the bathroom. He started screaming and hollering, but really didn't put up much of a fuss. Actually reminded me a little of Vincent, who I always suspected secretly enjoyed the warm attention a hand would bring to his bottom!
Anyway, I sat back and laughed, and (like I said) thought of you and Sandra. Moments later she returns to tell me the ballpark's women's bathrooms are full, and she couldn't get in to do it.
Man, Dad, I wish you could have seen this kid. He had the biggest "I Won" look on his face, like he had been victorious - kind of like Gavin that day I turned the tables on him, before I turned those tables on him. You would have slapped that look off of Novak in two seconds. I felt bad for her, but I wasn't going to do anything - I barely know her (knowing someone as a kid is not the same as knowing someone as an adult), and I don't know this boy at all.
They sit back down, and she tells him that he is not off the hook yet - that there is a big flyswatter at the hotel with his name all over it. Right when she said that I winced, remembering my times on the receiving ends of various, nasty flyswatters. Then, me saying that jars a memory with her and SHE now remembers the infamous story about how I turned the tables on her brother and the others back in '99.
Of course, she didn't go into details with Novak (what boy wants to hear his Mom talk about masturbating!), but we did talk enough about Vince and Donnie's Game so that Novak got the idea of how I kind of changed the rules a bit when they showed up one very festive Saturday in October, and how instead of assuming the role of the spanker for one lone loser, each of the "winners" got spanked by me, after they...ahhh...WON their "lil' manly race!" Dawn got to laughing so hard, she actually slipped and said that...
"Lil' Manly Race."
I think that if I ever write about all of this, that's what I'm going to call The Game. "Lil Manly Race" is just so much funnier a concept than "The Game" or "The Game Deux." I had toyed with another title (something very simple and modern-faux-gothic), but I think Dawn may have struck gold with that one!
"Lil' Manly Race: The Story Of Boys Alone."
She later told me (after Novak went to the concession stand) that the most amazing part of finding out about The Game (at the time) was finding out that her little, preteen brother was actually manufacturing jizz in those hairless sacks of his. I told her it was true - I had seen it more than once.
I even gave her some specifics of how my version of The Game worked, where (after they all came over, and you had left, we watched that cartoon I use to love, then, to all of their great delight, I started spanking Gavin. THEN, whoever shot their business first was the next NOT to spank Gavin (that would be like their game), but was (instead) there to be spanked by ME! Dawn loved this - she didn't know that Ike had been my "muscle" that day! That he actually had all of the boy's clothes (and Vincent's MASKED AVENGER costume - he had come over dressed in his Halloween costume to show us how cool it was; little did we know that would be the first time of many we would see him in that thing...poor Ike) safely tucked away in our house, and if any of the boys refused to "perform" then Ike would do something horrible to their clothes!
(She looked almost as amused as you looked horrified when I eventually fessed up and told you all about this five years ago!)
Naturally, at the public sporting event we had to whisper when we talked about it, and shut up when Novak returned from buying a hot dog. She then began to brag to her son what an accomplished spanker I had been!
"Your Uncle's butt didn't know what hit him!" Dawn said to Novak. She started laughing that seeing her little brother's glowing bottom that weekend must have planted the first seed about the benefits of corporal punishment, because she remembers him being very well behaved after that (well, for the most part!), and how impressed she was with the look of a little boy's spanked bare bottom!
Please - she was preaching to the choir!
It turns out, that Novak, for all of the privilege his life has afforded him being the son of a Manhattan lawyer, was no stranger from going "bottoms up," thanks to Dawn's firm belief in the firm hand.
"In a round about way," she actually said to me. "You are the reason I still spank my son today!" she started laughing. Do I even have to say that Novak found zero humor in that???
She started quizzing me about spankings right then and there - it was the oddest exchange, Dad. Right there, in the middle of an Olympic event, having a conversation about how old I was when I stopped receiving spankings from you (I kind of fudged that one - I don't like to tell people how and why I spent my 21st birthday standing up!), the most embarrassing spanking (l told her the one about the first time you made Gav spank me, although there was one much worse that you don't know about that I like to ignore), or the FUNNIEST spanking (Halloween '99 when Lee's Dad thought I was Lee because I was wearing his Star Wars mask!!!), or even the weirdest spanking (had to be when a 5 year old nabbed my butt with his kitchen spoon!) with this woman who grew up in the same neighborhood! She was loving it, even though Donnie had told her about many of them.
And the whole time, Novak is still being a major league asshole!
Then she shocked both of us by turning to her son and saying, "Do you want Mr. Grey to take you to the men's bathroom and show you what he did to your Uncle's bottom?" At first I looked for you when she said MISTER Grey (haha), but then realized she was talking about me!
"You wouldn't dare!" he snarled at her.
Then she looked at me and raised her eyebrows - "Matthew, can you do me this huge favor?"
I thought about it long and hard, Dad, and I weighed the various consequences of doing something like this. There was the fact that this was a kid I didn't know, and one that I may never see again. He was not someone I had a vested interest in helping out with a spanking, except that he is the nephew of the partner of the brother of one of my closest friends. Sure, I had always seen kids in public acting up and wish to god we lived in a country where I could just go over and spank away, but what kind of country would that be?
(haha - forget I asked YOU that question, Father! - I know your answer!!)
It all came down to one important factor - just how much fun it would be taking this snot nosed, preteen brat into a public bathroom and spanking him in front of a group of strangers! There was only one thing I really needed to know from Dawn before I agreed to take charge of her boy:
"Pants up or pants down?"
"Pants always down, just like with Donnie, right?"
Just what I wanted to hear.
"Come on, Novak," I said, grabbing him by the wrist and guiding him down his row in front of me to the aisle. "If we hurry, we can be back for the seventh inning stretch." Can you believe they still play "Thank God I'm A Country Boy" at the Yahoo Field? At least that hasn't changed since you and I came down here 10 years ago!
Good thing I had had some recent practice in June, at Eric Blyton's 18th birthday party, because it had been more than a few years since I last spanked a sassy boy. Needless to say, Novak was stunned, Dad. The two of us got a standing ovation from the people in our section as we walked away, especially the men and the other kids. I could tell some of the other children wanted to follow and watch, but it looked like their folks kept them in check which was nice to see - in 2012, especially during an election year, we keep hearing all sorts about how families are supposedly falling apart.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah - this was a nice moment to be part of. Kind of old fashion, you know what I mean, just me and Novak, going off to have ourselves a nice, little spanking, to the thunderous approval of all!
Novak was pleading with me under his breath not to do this, that he was just teasing when he was acting up, that he didn't really deserve this, that he REALLY is a good kid. I listened and nodded as we walked to the closest men's room, and told him that everything he said was quite interesting, but that it really didn't change the fact that he was going to get a spanking from a total stranger any moment now.
Once in the bathroom, then he started making a REAL scene! He started screaming how I was NOT his father, and he started begging people around to help him because he said that I was going to MOLEST him in the bathroom stall! Can you believe the nerve of this crept? I about froze when he said that one, but everyone in there started laughing up a storm - turns out most of them really were the men and boys from our section who followed us in there to see this, and they knew what an insufferable brat he was!
I had a special reward in mind for all of them, once he and I settled into the handicap stall.
I closed the door and demanded that he remove his shorts - not just pull them down, but remove them. He, of course, objected, but when I grabbed him and began stripping him, the rascally 12 year old agreed to do as he was told, taking off the shorts. I took them in my hand, and draped them over the paper roll. Then I demanded his "Olympics 2012" shirt (the one with the scary Eagle Mascot! - shudder). He paused, and then took that off too. The shirt then joined the shorts.
He then started to beg for me to NOT spank him on the bare bottom. He swore that he had learned his lesson, and that he was normally a good boy, but because he was hitting puberty, he was becoming "difficult."
I really tried not to laugh, Dad, but once again I thought of you - the little kid was as underdeveloped at 12 as I was! I could tell he was in no danger of making a mess on my lap - he looked closer to 8 or 9, and the idea that "puberty" was just around the corner as the excuse for him being a major league asshole was very funny. I wanted to tell him (from personal experience) not to hold his breath waiting for his little balls to drop any day now, because (at the look of him) he might be driving first! (even with that new Maryland law that you have to be 18).
I pulled him to me, and put my fingers under the band and down they came with no fuss, except for him sniffling like a little baby. Once they were all the way off, and he was naked (except for the shoes and socks), I placed him over my lap, and then gently, with my foot, tapped the big stall door all the way open so that everyone in the bathroom could see Novak wag his little red tail!
It was such a sweet spanking, Dad! It would have been one you would have been proud of. A good, solid, five minutes of neverending slaps. He had nice, big, round and fluffy butt cheeks, that made it nice and soft to the slap. A couple of times he would clench them up, but I would then just move my attention down to the upper legs and beat them just as red. I couldn't believe that after all of these year I still had IT!
(lucky Boy! HAHA!)
Everyone in there seemed to enjoy the spanking more than they did the baseball game (maybe in 2016 "Spanking Naked Little Boys" can be an exhibition sport??). Some of the kids started clapping along with my fast, rhythmic swats, while other ones mocked Novak's crying and pleading. It was one for the books, Dad. and us Grey men can spank a boy's butt like no one's business!
(good news for Baby Ben, huh? haha - going to keep that butt in line, huh?!)
When we left, people everywhere could see the red spanked mark on his legs, creeping under his shorts. Dawn was very impressed at how efficient we were, and invited me back to the hotel room to finish the job off on him with a flyswatter after the game.
"Like coming full circle!" she said with a laugh.
I laughed back, and thanked her. I would have gone if I wasn't married, I am sure of it, but I am married to the best woman in the world, and I already have one little dude to raise. I spent my youth helping to raise half the neighborhood, now is finally time to actually raise MY son.
Before we left she did bemoan the fact that Novak really needed a strong man at this time of his life, to do the kind of thing I had just done with him. She admitted that it was tougher and tougher for her to punish him, the older he got.
"He really needs a man!" she said.
I thought about giving her your number (haha), but instead asked about her brother, and she said that they are pretty close, as Novak is with his "Other Uncle Ike" (or "OUI" as they call him), but she would feel funny asking them to help discipline her boy. I convinced her that both men were also experts at spanking, especially Ike!
She was surprised that I said that, because it had always been her impression that Ike was more of the one who GOT spanked - not someone who GAVE spankings. All she knew about was the situation Ike and Vincent's grandparents settled on that, after YOU talked them into it!!! (I still can't believe you called them up out of the blue, and told their grandparents that it might be good for BOTH boys if Vince got to spank Ike, instead of the other way around! - what an evil man you could be! haha)
Of course, poor Ike, he didn't get off as easy as I did - his arrangement didn't last just a few months (or 60 parts...ahem), but more like four years! And the fact that EVERYONE knew about it too! Oh, man! I felt for him at times, but not really because (with Ike) it really seemed to work, answering to his little brother, Vince, or with Vin's alter ego, The Masked Avenger!
(Him and his costumes!)
So, I fessed up about the time Ike spanked me, and about how he and her brother actually "bonded" for the first time at our place after Ike got to spank HIM (she didn't know that Donnie's glowing butt was due to two sets of hands!). I even told her the hysterical Mr. Denner / Halloween Story, when Ike spanked that kid Jamie, while he was wearing good old fashion "Dr. Denton's" with the butt flap's hanging open! She howled, and said she had forgotten that one! I assured her that both of those two (Donnie or Ike) would have plenty of more stories to share about their misadventures, and either would be excellent spankers for her kid.
She thanked me and said that she and Novak would visit The Uncles when they got back north (she also mentioned that she liked the "Dr. Denton" idea too! - poor Novak).
I saw them again a couple more times at baseball games. Novak was the perfect kid each time, too. He really was just having a bad day then, I guess. I invited them out to dinner with Hannah and myself for some seafood, but they had to decline, as they had tickets to see some gymnastics.
Anyway, that is pretty much that - I made it to some other events, and we still are going to see some track and field, and it looks good for all of us to make it to the closing ceremony, which should be breathtaking. Words can't even describe it, Dad. I really wish we could have shared it together, like we did in Beijing in 2008, or back in 2004 in Athens. I still can't believe that the Olympics actually come (practically) in our back yard, and you are not there with me!!!
No excuses next time! We should REALLY make plans for 2016, or at the very least the 2014 winter games so I can get my hockey fix!!! Gavin and Amanda both said that they would love to join us if we are going to the next winter games, but that is NO excuse for you to avoid the big show! People can change!
(Not a word to Hannah, Dad, about her and Gav either until I have a chance! You aren't too old, from me spanking YOUR butt! HAHA! I'm sure Sandy would LOVE that!!!)
Give everyone my best. I will e-mail the girls (do they still have their AOL account there at college?) You and Sandra enjoy your freedom now! If anyone deserves having the house to yourself, it's you two old saucy birds!
Well, I guess this is it - what someone might call The End. As per usual, this turned out to be a lot longer than I had planned, but you know me - never knowing when to shut the hell up. I hope you liked this! It was a little different, that is for sure, and who knows if I will write another. If I don't, at least you will have this.
I love you a lot, and I can't wait to see you in a couple of days.
Matt