Jared settled himself down on the couch. He was tired himself. What a can of worms he opened with this kid. Todd was angry at the world, eruptive, complex, and mysterious. Did he really have the right stuff, not to mention the right at all, to take in Todd.
He doubted the wisdom of him being responsible for the kid. The thought of him having to see and deal with Todd on a parental type level was made uncomfortable by the attraction he felt for Todd. Of course Todd would be 18 in half a year's time. One thing he did know was that he did care about the boy. He didn't want him back on the streets or in a camp.
He was getting a headache with all the thoughts doubling back on themselves. Settling heavily into the cushions Jared tired to relax his tired body. Todd's little tantrum wore him out. The little rebel was harder to hold onto than he looked. There was never any danger of him breaking out of Jared's arms but he sure didn't make it easy on him either.
Blowing out a big sigh he thought about how Todd reacted to the spanking he gave him. It was no where near as hard as the brat deserved. The pain in his temple throbbed as he thought back on how hard Todd fought to keep his control or rather the illusion of control. On what it cost the kid. Todd had a bad habit of turning his anger inward and that could lead to some dangerous problems later.
Closing his eyes for just a moment, Jared laid his head back on the back of the couch. Wise or not he was committed to this path, and they would walk it now, even if he had to drag Todd all the way.
He must of dosed off. He was startled awake by a boom of thunder so loud it sounded like a war front. After a few more just like it, he knew they were in for a healthy thunderstorm. Up here in the mountains they were pretty nasty and just boomed up and down the canyons. He got up after a bit and checked on the kid. He walked to the bedroom door that he left ajar and peeked in. Todd was not in the bed, he looked in the bathroom, the sauna, and still no Todd. He was just about to thunder himself, right out to the garage to hopefully throttle a kid and not find a missing bike.
Just as he walked out of the bedroom when he remembered he needed more clothes than the flannel pants he had on. He walked over to the closet and ripped the door open in his frustration.
He was startled by the figure that jumped back against the closet wall. Huge, round, brown eyes stared back out of a very pale face. Todd was plastered up against the back wall. Like a mouse cornered by a cat. Too scared to run. Jared couldn't imagine what the the kid was doing.
"Todd? What the hell are you doing sitting in the closet?"
Todd couldn't find the words to explain to Jared. Too long. Too involved to get into when you're scared as bad as he was. Waking up in a dark closet was bad enough. Toss in the storm and then the tank sized man jerking open the door and yelling at him. Todd was a bit confused and really shook up.
Then thunder exploded so loud that the windows shook. Must have been right over the cabin. Todd paled visibly even in the dim light and he was shaking. Jared figured it out fast. The kid was terrified of the storm. Really terrified. He looked much younger right now. Almost fragile. His hair was mussed from his nap and eyes as big as saucers.
Jared was completely surprised. His fearless little rebel was sitting and hiding in a closet from a thunderstorm. He didn't mean to bark at Todd. He had just been startled. Taking a deep breath he spoke softly and extended his hand out to Todd.
"Hey buddy, it's alright. 'Cmon out of there"
Todd shook his head adamantly "No" and squashed himself back as far as he could.
Jared squatted down to Todd's level. Hand still out. "Todd, really it's okay. You're safe. 'Cmon out with me. Better than sitting alone in the dark closet. Right?"
Todd sat there a long time. Eyes speaking volumes of distrust. Jared fought down the impulse to just haul him out of there. No. Not the best way to handle this.
"Todd, it's all right. 'Cmon out."
Todd hesitantly grabbed the hand in front of him and was gently hauled to his feet. Jared then wrapped him in a big hug. Todd's arms just hung to his sides. Jared felt wetness on his chest. Tears. Never had he known someone to cry so silently. Todd's shoulders didn't move, no sniffles, nothing. Not even a whimper. He barely seemed to be breathing.
Todd was stiff and lifeless in his arms. Jared was just letting lose of him when another volley of thunder struck. Todd grabbed onto Jared's large body and hung on like his life depended on it. Gingerly Jared replaced his arms back around him and let Todd hold on as long as he needed to. Todd soon realized he was hanging onto the tank like a cheap necklace and began to feel self-conscious and embarrassed about being found cowering in the closet. He sometimes walked in his sleep, he always seemed to end up in a closet. It had been a long time since the last time and it usually only happened when bad or scary stuff happened. Well getting his ass beat was pretty scary. _s_h_i_t_ of all the times to have it happen again. He tried to pull away from Jared's arms.
"No, Todd. Don't you do that. There is nothing to feel bad about. Everyone has something that makes them afraid. Everyone."
Jared led them both to the big bed. He tucked Todd in and then laid on top of the comforter. He gathered Todd in his arms and pulled him in tight. Todd was slack against him. Soon Todd stopped jumping at each boom, it was sometime before he slept. Jared held on long after Todd drifted off. This kid was full of surprises. Awake Todd was stiff as a board and just as affectionate. Even in sleep Todd seemed to shun affection, but now he was curled up to Jared with his arms around him.
Tense muscles relaxing against his warmth. Jared rubbed his cheek against the silky softness of Todd's hair. A faint scent hit his nose. Musk soap. His dad had boxes of the stuff stored here. He got it at some liquidation sale, lasted forever. Todd's breathing evened and deepened.
Jared was amused by his little snores. Not loud, just kind of uptight, like he didn't want anyone to hear him. Closing his own eyes, Jared added his own in duet. Todd woke up slowly. He felt groggy. He always did when he cried himself to sleep. He nearly groaned out loud when he remembered Jared finding him in the closet. This day had totally sucked.
But this was nice. He was cozy in bed curled up against Jared's chest with a huge arm around him and one giant hand resting on his butt. His butt no longer hurt. Slowly reaching down he rubbed his bottom. It was a little sore, not bad at all but still, very warm to the touch. Being curled up with Jared and with a sore bottom had a surprising effect on him. His little soldier was standing at attention. Earlier he got upset when he thought Jared was some player. He surprised himself at how it hurt and angered him thinking Jared was in this just for _s_e_x_ or something. He was way off base it turned out. The man was totally pissed off. Todd was scared _s_h_i_t_less. It wasn't so much that he expected the big man to be different than anyone else, it was more like he wanted him to be. Why he got so upset about it he didn't want to analyze.
At the moment with his "growing " condition the prospect was very appealing. Jared was the most handsome man he had ever known. He was strongly attracted to him. It was more than just being taken care of. Propping up on his elbow he looked over the tank. His features relaxed in sleep made him appear almost soft. One thing Todd knew for sure this man was definitely not soft. He was covered in hard, glorious muscle.
Testing the waters, he rubbed a hand across the large, chest. Jared moved a little, squeezing Todd close to him. Todd grew more darning. He planted a tentative kiss on Jared's chest. Another gentle squeeze. Encouraged now Todd trailed little kisses all the way to that firm jaw. Again he was rewarded by an answering squeeze and a soft moan.
Then he kissed Jared. Full on the mouth. Lightly at first, then another longer kiss. A sigh was his reward this time and he took full advantage. He kissed him again more firmly this time. Jared's lips surrendered to his advances and he deepened his kiss. Jared gave himself up to the pleasure. His mind numbed with sleep and lust. His mouth took control over the lips pressed to his. His tongue darted and danced into the sweetness of that mouth. He rolled and crushed the small body under him. He heard as much as felt a gasp. He rolled on his back taking the source of pleasure with him. He delighted in the feel of the small weight on him. He rubbed the back and bottom, grabbing a handful of flesh. Tight and firm, but rounded enough to fit into his hand perfectly. Hands ran through his hair and a hot mouth sought his neck just below he ear. Nearly pushed over the edge he pulled away from that wondrous heat. Dark lust hazed eyes looked down into his own.
Dark? He snapped awake from the dream instantly. Todd's confused face was just inches above his.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, Todd?"
"I...I...I thought you ...liked it...me."
Jared practically bench pressed Todd off of his chest. "Todd, I..do....but..this can't happen. You're only..."
Hurt clouded Todd's face and he lashed with that hurt at Jared. At what he saw as bitter rejection.
"I don't give a _f_u_c_k_ what I am. You liked it enough a moment ago."
"_d_a_m_n_ straight I did! But get it though your brain. THIS is not going to happen. You're underage, Todd. I can't do this with you".
Todd jerked out of his hold and sat up. "Look, I don't need your _f_u_c_k_ing charity. If you're straight, no big deal, that's cool. If I...I don't do it for you......"
Todd stopped mid-sentence as he was yanked back down on the mattress.
"Where do you get this _s_h_i_t_, Todd? I'm not giving charity, I'm not straight, and if you for one minute think that you don't do it for me, then what caused this?" He grabbed Todd's hand and pulled it against his groin. He was rampant, nearly to bursting. He ground against Todd's hand. He felt like he would bust any moment and the little _s_h_i_t_ thought he didn't do it for him.
Todd was shocked. Under his hand was proof positive that Jared was interested. Big time. His hand closed around the firm flesh and Jared shivered and groaned. Grinding slightly into the pressure of his hand. He looked down at Jared face. Glazed green eyes peered right back at him daring him to deny the affect he had had on him. He never noticed the little flecks of gold in the green before. Or how white and straight Jared's teeth were. He enjoyed the power he felt over Jared at the moment. Each little squeeze he gave that part of Jared, the man reacted strongly to it. A huge hand clasped him on the back of the neck and forced him face to face.
"See, little man, see how you "don't do it " for me."
Jared gave Todd such a rough and fierce kiss that is took his breath away and left him dazed.
"But, regardless of all that. This can't happen, I can't. Seventeen will get you 20."
At Todd's confused look he could only laugh sadly. Todd had sat up and away from Jared. Stung still.
"Sorry, Todd, I forgot that that joke is older, way, way, older than you are."
Then, seriously, he framed Todd's face with his hands. "As much as I want to. And I really do want to. I'm not seducing a kid who's underage...... Todd have you ever been with a man...or for that matter anyone?"
"I ain't no _f_u_c_k_ing virgin, if that's what your ask'n."
Todd sounded wholly insulted. Jared smiled to himself. Virginity was a kiss of death for a teenager. Taking into consideration, Jared reminded himself Todd was really having a bad day. So he didn't make fuss over the attitude.
"Okay. So you've done the nasty...what a couple times? With "girls?"
"So, I..noth'n wrong with that."
"No, there's not. But what I'm asking you is, have you ever been with a man, Todd?"
Todd was quiet a moment. Then. "No....not...well...not like that."
"Like what then?"
Jared remembered the other night when they had a big blow up over Todd's insinuation that he wanted _s_e_x_ual favors for helping the kid out. He didn't think he wanted the answer to that question. Todd just shrugged his shoulders.
"Just making out, a little friction, other stuff."
Jared didn't know what that was and didn't ask any deeper questions. There was time enough for that. "If" he ever wanted to know.
"I see...well then we wouldn't have done anything anyway. You're not ready.
"I...."
"Trust me, kiddo you don't just jump into that."
He could see the kid was stung, he put a hand on Todd's shoulder.
"Understand, Todd? Don't think I'm rejecting "you." I'm not. Okay? I just won't have relations with a ki....someone underage. I'm just not built that way."
Todd just nodded his head. He felt like crap. He had this crushing feeling. Like the room was getting too small. But he tamped it down.
"Now I'm going to hop in the shower. Why don't you go pick out something for dinner. Or better yet, sleep some more. I know it's been a lousy day you. I'm sorry. Let's make it a decent evening. Okay?"
Todd tried to school his expression into calm resignation. "Whatever."
"We'll talk more after dinner. Promise me you'll stay in bed till I get out."
"Yeah...sure...I promise."
The cold water got Jared's body back under his control. He couldn't believe how out of control he got. Todd was going to be a real challenge to live with. He had Jared acting like a boy, first time at bat and ready to explode at the first touch. In a way it was a nice feeling to know that someone out there could make him feel like that. Unfortunately that someone was a kid, thief, runaway, and what ever else Todd was. He was definitely a powder keg with the fuse lit. Jared needed to get a hold of his lust for lack of a better term. He knew Todd was hurting and no doubt confused by Jared's refusal and that crude show of how affected he was by Todd's attentions. _d_a_m_n_ he shouldn't have gone so far in that. He was out of line there. He needed to get them out of here. Someplace not quite so isolated.
Tomorrow they would check on the bridge. It should be repaired by now. He stepped from the shower and toweled off. Hairs stood out on his arms and neck. The house felt wrong... too quiet...empty.
"Ahhh.._s_h_i_t_!"
Naked, he ran into the bedroom, no Todd. Then into the living room. Sure enough Todd's bag was gone and so were his shoes and jacket. He wrenched open the door and saw the garage door wide open. No point in even going out there. Todd was gone.