It was a warm morning in early March when I was disturbed by an urgent knocking on my door. Upon opening the door I was confronted by my neighbour, Maureen, who was obviously very distressed. She told me that she was having so much trouble bringing up her 3 sons on her own (her husband having left her about 3 years ago) that she was going to go and live with her sister in Yorkshire. She asked me if I would take in her children and bring them up as my own as she didn't want them placed into care. They were lively children who sometimes helped me in my garden, or cleaning my car. Unfortunately they had not been brought up well and were becoming troublesome and in danger of falling foul of the law. The eldest boy Craig was 10 and the two younger lads, Stephen 8 and Robert 6 looked up to him as something of a role model. Consequently Craig's increasingly wayward behaviour was having an unfortunate impact on the conduct of the two younger boys.
Maureen told me she had spoken to the children about her plans and that they were keen on coming to live with me. She said that deep down they resented her because there was no man about the house who they could relate to. I explained to Maureen that although the boys liked me as a neighbour it would probably be quite different if they had to accept me as a parent. She said she had explained that to the boys and they wanted to come and live with me. She then asked me if she could fetch the boys over to tell them that I had agreed to take them in.
She went across to her house and a few minutes later was back with her 3 sons. I decided I needed to make my position clear from the start and so I said "Your mum has told me what she is going to do and I have told her you can come and live here with me. But I want to tell you now that if you step out of line I will punish you, and punish you severely. I like you and you help me with little jobs from time to time but I've noticed your behaviour lately has been getting worse. I'm saying this now so that you have the chance of changing your minds about living with me. Are you sure, now I've told you that, you still want to come here."
The two younger boys looked at Craig for guidance. Craig looked at me and nodded which I took to mean he accepted the situation. The other two followed his example. Maureen and I decided they would move in at the weekend which was the date she had set for her own move. I therefore had only 3 days to prepare for my new responsibilities.
My first task was to draw up a list of rules which I would give to the boys when they arrived. I decided that basic manners needed working on and also general conduct at school and when they were playing outside. I had a lady who came in and cooked and cleaned for me and she had experience as a parent having brought up 2 children and I felt sure she would also be invaluable to have around as I obviously couldn't be there all the time as I had to work. My second job was to visit a school shop and purchase what I considered would be an appropriate instrument of discipline—a bamboo cane. I purchased a long springy cane with a crooked handle and also a Scottish style tawse, a strip of leather about 18 inches long split into two strips each about an inch wide. The leather was fastened to a wooden handle. I genuinely hoped neither instrument would need to be used but I suspected it would not be long before one or either of them would. For more minor misdemeanours I had decided that an old size 10 gym slipper would suffice.
The weekend came and Maureen came with the boys at about 9 in the morning. She thanked me for taking them and then said goodbye to us all and left. Just like that. The boys each had a small plastic bag which I assumed contained their clothes. I showed them to the rooms they would occupy. Craig, the eldest, was to have a room of his own and they two younger boys would have the slightly larger bedroom in which was a two tier bunk style bed. I told them to pack their clothes tidily in the cupboards and then to come and see me in my study where I had decided to give them a little "welcome speech". After about 10 minutes 3 young lads entered my study and stood in front of my desk behind which I was sitting. I had told Maureen that as their behaviour had not been good they would not be permitted long trousers and she told me that only Craig had a pair of jeans which she had decided she would take from him before he came to me because of his bad behaviour. Consequently I was faced by 3 lads in shorts, socks and t shirts. The shorts looked too small for them and I assumed Maureen had not been able to afford to keep up with her growing sons.
"Welcome boys" I began. "I just want to tell you about a few rules. Your mum has told me you have been fairly rude lately and so we will start by saying that I expect two things from you at all times. Politeness and Obedience. You will call me dad and Miss Nash, who you will meet later and who will do your cooking and washing, you will call Miss. If she or I tell you to do something I expect you to do it without question. Equally if we tell you not to do something you will not do it. If you are told to be in by 5 o'clock it means 5 o'clock, not 5 past 5. You will keep your rooms tidy at all times and you will put dirty clothes in the laundry basket and not leave them lying around. You will complete any homework or jobs in the house before watching television or going out to play. Your schoolwork will be checked by me regularly and I expect you to do your best at all times. I expect you to behave equally as well at school as at home and any misbehaviour at school will be treated as seriously as if you misbehave here. I also expect you to behave properly when you are out playing. When coming home from school you will change out of your school clothes and into your gym shorts and t shirts like you are wearing now. Finally, and I shall only say this once, I will repeat what I said when we spoke 3 days ago. If you misbehave I will punish you and punish you SEVERELY. Have you anything you would like to ask".
Three pairs of eyes looked and me and three heads shook in a negative gesture. I dismissed the boys from the study and allowed them to familiarise themselves with their new surroundings and to go and play if they wished. I told them to be back indoors by 1 p. m. to meet Miss Nash.
The boys returned from playing outside just before 1 and I duly introduced them to our housekeeper. We then sat in the dining room and started to eat the lunch which she had prepared for us. It was cod, chips and peas. The boys ate heartily and I suspected they had not been fed particularly well in the past. I had to rebuke Stephen for wiping his mouth with his hand, telling him not to do it again or he would regret it. I also told Craig firmly not to eat chips with his fingers but to use his fork. I had decided to impose good standards of behaviour from the start. The boys were left in no doubt as to the table manners expected of them. The meal passed without further problems and I told the boys to clear the table and go and wash and dry the cutlery and crockery. Miss Nash inspected their efforts and had to insist that two plates were re washed but otherwise was satisfied. I had told the boys they could again go out to play once their duties in the kitchen were finished. They were told to be in no later than 5.
Stephen and Robert came home at around 4.15 and I asked where Craig was. Stephen told me he had gone to play with a boy called Stuart who I knew as a bit of a troublemaker. However I had decided I would allow my new "sons" to use their own judgment in their choice of friends and had not banned Craig from seeing this boy. But I became angry when the I heard the clock strike 5 and there was still no sign of the 10 year old boy. At about 20 past 5 I looked from the window and saw Craig, who had obviously realised he was late, running towards home. I had decided to punish him as an example as I felt it was important to impose discipline earlier rather than later. I heard him burst through the door and then pause to take off his footwear as the boys had been told to do when entering the house. I had gone into my study and had told Stephen to tell Craig I wanted to see him immediately. I heard Stephen excitedly tell his brother "Dad wants to see you in his study" and I awaited the knock on the door.
There was, however, no knock. Instead Craig rushed into the study and hurriedly blurted out something that sounded like "sorryimlatedad" all the words getting mixed up with each other. I shouted at the child "GET OUT. NEVER ENTER A ROOM WITHOUT KNOCKING". Craig left the room and immediately knocked and I told him to come in.
"What did I tell you earlier today about doing as you are told" I demanded to know. Craig mumbled that he was sorry he was late but he had forgotten the time. I had decided that my punishments would be swiftly carried out with the minimum of preamble and Craig was clearly taken by surprise when, without replying to his mumbled apology, I rose from my chair , strode to the cupboard in the corner of the room and produced the bamboo cane I had purchased days earlier. I heard Craig mumble again that he was sorry but without speaking I walked to the boy, grasped his arm, and propelled him towards a leather armchair next to the wall. Behind that wall I was sure Craig's 2 brothers were listening to find out what punishment I would mete out for his disobedience. "Take off your shorts" I ordered in a loud voice, mainly for the benefit of the 2 younger boys who, as I have said, I felt sure were listening. Craig looked at me pleadingly but said nothing and lowered his shorts to his ankles. "I said OFF Craig" I yelled and tbe boy stepped out of the shorts, picked them up and placed them on the armchair. "Bend over the chair" I instructed and the 10 year old fell over the arm of the chair and reached out with his hands to grasp the arm opposite. I moved behind him and leaned over and inserted my hand under the elastic of the boy's tight orange briefs and eased them down towards his knees. "I am going to give you 8 strokes Craig" I began "You can make as much noise as you need but you will NOT move from your position until I tell you. Nor will you try to cover your bottom with your hands. If you do I will add 2 strokes to your punishment each time you do it. Do you understand ?". Craig sniffled that he understood and without further ado I cracked the thin cane across the centre of the boys exposed bottom for the first time. Craig yelped. I administered the second and third strokes, each accompanied by a slightly louder cry than the one previous. The fourth cut, then the fifth. The boy was sobbing hard now but, fearful of an increase to his punishment, his outstretched hands were digging into the leather of the arm opposite the one over which he was bent. Number six drew another scream of pain and I hoped the lesson being taught in this room was also being learned by the two younger boys who, although I didn't know it, could hear every stroke and every cry. The seventh lash and Craig's back arched in agony but he managed to stay in position. Finally, after pausing for some seconds, I administered the last stroke of today's discipline. I deliberately aimed the last one at the meeting point of buttocks and thighs to make sure the boy remembered this punishment whenever he sat down over the next few days. Craig howled in anguish but, mindful of being told to stay in position until told to rise, he stayed over the arm sobbing his heart out, his tears now falling onto the leather under his face."Get up" I eventually commanded "and stand to attention". Without pulling up his briefs the boy rose and turned to face me as I replaced the cane in the cupboard.
"Have you learnt your lesson today Craig" I asked and the boy, still weeping, nodded vigorously. "What have you learnt Craig" I pressed on.
"T-To d-d-do as y-you t-tell me-e" He said through the tears. "And n-not be la-late h-home".
"Pull up you pants" I ordered and he obeyed. "Now put your shorts on and join your brothers and I suggest you tell them what will happen to them if they step out of line. Is that clear" . Still sobbing and sniffing Craig nodded that he understood and shuffled out of the study and back to the living room where his brothers were awaiting his return.
I leaned back in my chair and reflected that I had only been a "dad" to these boys for about 8 hours and yet I had already had to administer a punishment. I hoped it would not be the first of many but somehow, given the boys' problems and lack of discipline in the past, I felt that more sessions in the study were inevitable.