I am indebted to my friend Jim from the north of England for this story which he told me happened way back in 1959 (when he was aged 13 ). Jim lived in Castleford - a mining town in Yorkshire, and went to the local secondary school as did most of his mates in the area. In those days education in the UK was not yet comprehensive, and at 11 years old children took an exam called the "Eleven Plus" which determined whether they would go onto a "Grammar School" after their primary education, or just an ordinary school. Grammar schools were for want of a better expression schools for brighter kids, and (if my memory serves me right) were abolished in 1968 when the comprehensive education system was introduced.
It goes without saying that Grammar schools created a certain amount of friction (to the point that some people viewed as divisive), and pupils from the ordinary schools were at times not well disposed towards those from the local Grammar. Jim told me about one incident when he was with a large group of his fellow pupils on his way home, and a Castleford Grammar School pupil of 15 years old or so was spotted by two boys of about the same age from his group. Why this boy had chosen to walk home unaccompanied is not clear, but whatever the reason was, the two 'ordinary' boys who were called Alan and Mick immediately gave chase once they made out the sight of the hated green blazer and tie with yellow stripes.
Apparently this boy (called Geoff) from the Grammar school lived in the next street to, and was well known to Alan and Mick who not only disliked him, but also his parents who were thought of as rather snobby and stuck up particularly now that their son had gone to Castleford Grammar School. It did not take long for Alan and Mick to catch up with and catch hold of Geoff despite his best attempts to flee. They set about giving him a bit of a beating, and his nose was soon bleeding. After that, he was floored, and the two victors sat bodily on top of him as he lay hapless on his front. Alan immediately employed the deadly "half nelson" hold by sitting high up on Geoff's back and then putting both his arms under each of Geoff's shoulders and clasping his hands firmly behind his prey's neck so that Geoff's arms were immobilised out to his side. Mick sat a little further down roughly at Geoff's knee joints facing his mate Alan so that Geoff couldn't kick- the prey was well and truly stuck.
There then followed quite a dose of tormenting and taunting in the "So what ya gunna do abart it eh ?" mode. (I am attempting to reproduce the Yorkshire dialect where appropriate throughout this tale - I admit I am no expert, but I ask natives of that area to bear with me !) "Looks to me like thi nose's plastered all over thi face !.....Thi posh uniform's a bit of a mess owd lad." Poor Geoff was responding with pleas to their reason like "Ger off me, leave me alone, I've got to get off home." But Alan and Mick seemed intent on engaging him in a debate about the Grammar School system: "Ya toffy-nosed bastard. Dus tha know't grief I got when tha passed thi 11-plus ? All a got for a week wa 'Why can't tha be a bit moor breet like that nice lad int' next street?'" Geoff tried to counter Alan and Mick's point with "I just passed the exam. I got a lot of grief as well. My mother was frantic as to how she would be able to afford the special uniform." This was always a real concern for some parents of 11 year olds - a case of "I hope my so-and-so doesn't pass because we can't afford the uniform."
A fight always attracts a crowd, and a group of a dozen or so boys including Jim had arrived on the scene and were enjoying the Grammar school boy's predicament. The younger brother of one of the two attackers came to the front of the throng was greeted by Alan who said "Hey up ar kid. Look who we've just belted !" (The younger brother's name was Roy.)
Roy's reply to his older brother was along the lines of, "Hi a saw thi belt 'im one. It's that git from't next street int it?"
"Hi it is. What ya reckon we should do wi 'im?" said Alan.
"Well tha's already med a mucky mess on 'is uniform. Hey al tell thi what. Why dun't we ger 'is britches off ?!"
Roy's suggestion was greeted with a cruel laugh from the two older lads who had Geoff pinned down - the crowd of (mainly) younger onlookers responded with cheers and shouts of glee. "Yeah ! Ger 'is britches off - let's see his arse !!"
"Hi. Let's ger 'is britches off !!!"
Obviously Geoff became almost apoplectic with terror at this suggestion. "NO !! Ger off me, please. Just let me go!! Look, you've had yer fun. Just let me go. Please. Then he started to kick frantically, and continued to plead, also frantically. NO !!! P-L-E-A-S-E let me go NOW !!!!!!"
This pleading caused great amusement to Alan, Mick, Roy and other onlookers...They simply took up a call to other boys in the vicinity: "Heyup ger ower 'ere !! Wi gunna 'av this lad's britches off !!"
Therefore Mick, who was sat astride Geoff's knees, began to grope around underneath Geoff's hips trying to get his long grey trousers undone, but an almighty struggle ensued as Geoff tried in vain yet desperately to break free. The crowd of onlookers were really beginning to enjoy the spectacle of the anticipated humiliation, and began to shout taunts like "Heyup kid, tha's gunna 'av a bare arse !!" and one or two of them even started to argue about who was going to receive the liberated trousers - "I bags 'is britches !!" - "No tha dun't !! I'm 'avin 'em !!"
Alan, who was still holding Geoff in the half-Nelson played the arbitrator, and said, "Ar Roy can 'av 'em. Hey Roy, give Mick a 'and will tha ? If they weyn't unbutton, pull bloody buttons off. We can't 'od 'im much longer. Niver mind if tha get torn, just ger 'em darn !!!"
Geoff kept shouting the same old pleas but was getting hoarse and, with the weight of both Alan and Mick on top of him squashing him, was quickly becoming more and more desperate. Paradoxically, Geoff's frantic struggling actually helped the process - as he rolled from side to side in his desperation, Mick must have been able to undo his belt and wrench open some of the top buttons on his trousers. After a few minutes, Mick (with some help from young Roy) was able to drag Geoff's trousers down, clear of and over his bum, to mid-thigh level.
At the sight of Geoff's white underpants, up went a cry, "HEY !! e's wearin lasses knickers, the big Jesse !!!" (To explain, in late 1950's mining Yorkshire, mens boys underwear was not really that common. A lot of the pre-War conventions lingered on in the working class areas. So many of the lads involved here would not be wearing underpants. Neither would their fathers. It was considered extremely 'SISSY' - hence the suggestion that Geoff was wearing girls knickers. Don't worry readers, Westminster sent a missionary expedition to Yorkshire and all Yorkshire men were all converted to modern standards of decency soon afterwards.) Everyone was looking and laughing at Geoff's underwear, and everyone was crowding round in anticipation of seeing his trousers come right off. Mick was saying, "Roy, ger 'is shoes off, so we can 'av 'is britches reet off." So then Roy yanked Geoff's black school shoes off, without untying the laces. Then, having got the trousers down to the knees, Mick jumped back, releasing Geoff's legs, dragging the trousers with him. He was pulling them by the waistband so they turned inside-out as they shot off and cleared Geoff's ankles. One of Geoff's dark blue socks happened to come off with them.
Mick waved his booty in the air, then tossed the stolen trousers to the waiting crowd of youngsters. They started to fight over them but one came up with an idea, "Hey let's cut all his buttons off ! E'll get a reet belt from 'is dad when 'e gets 'ome !!" A penknife was soon produced...
Meanwhile young Roy had taken Mick's place on top of Geoff, anxious to claim an even greater and more embarrassing prize. His older brother Alan was wise to this, and released the hapless Geoff from the immobilising half-Nelson and moved to the side of his victim having stood up. "Allreet Roy...he said to his younger bother.... Tek 'is lasses panties off !" Roy needed hardly any prompting, and without hesitation took hold of the waistband of Geoff's white trunks (as they were called in 1959) and just yanked them down over his bum and legs. The trunks were right off even before Geoff realised he was losing them. A huge cheer erupted up from the gang watching, when Geoff's bare lily white buttocks were exposed. Roy rolled the underpants up into a ball and put them straight into his pocket.
Geoff looked absolutely stunned. He remained face down, and desperately looked from his right to his left. Meanwhile one of the gang of youngsters, having produced a penknife, set about his task, and Geoff's trouser buttons were very efficiently removed. "Well that might as well do a reet job. Let's ger all 'is buttons off !!" shouted Alan. So he grabbed Geoff by the hair and started to pull him to his feet. Geoff really was not in any mood to stand up, and some of the youngsters just could not resist the bare bum target so exposed on the ground, and he took several well placed slaps and kicks to his bottom. He was soon dragged to his feet however, but as he was using both hands to cover himself at the front, his bare buttocks remained completely defenceless.
It was Alan who took the initiative, and decided it was time to have the Grammar School blazer off. It did not prove too difficult a task; Geoff was seemingly more concerned with trying to cover himself and some of the fight seemed to have left him. Off came the blazer with out too much of a struggle, and Alan threw it over to the crowd - " 'Ere. Get buttons of this an all !!" he shouted. By this time one of the much younger onlookers decided to get into the action and grabbed hold of Geoff's satchel. He opened it and emptied the contents all over the ground. The boy with the penknife soon removed all three buttons from Geoff's blazer. There were howls of laughter as the helpless Geoff tried to get items of his clothing and papers back - using only the one hand of course.
"Reet ! Let's 'ev ya shet !!" was Alan's next command. This seemed to inject a bit of the fight back into Geoff who was not willing to lose his last stitch of effective cover without a bit of resistance. He was bent over trying to cover his shirt buttons and keep them out of Alan's reach. To no avail however, as Mick waded in to help. The Grammar School tie was loosened, and was twisted round so that it was hanging down Geoff's back. He was wearing a white, button through shirt (not so common back in the late 1950's). Mick just grabbed one side of the shirt flap and yanked it as hard as he could. The result was the shirt just opened up, and it was soon half off - over one arm and one shoulder. Geoff frantically hung on to the shirt, but with both Alan and Mick pulling and tugging, it soon came right off, leaving Geoff totally naked apart from the school tie and one sock.
Once again, the shirt was thrown over to the lad with the penknife, who obligingly whipped off the buttons. There was a lot of laughter and jostling. Finally in sheer anger and desperation, the naked Geoff let fly with both fists. He missed all of the many targets and soon tears of frustration and humiliation started to furrow his face. Geoff was just completely beaten. Finally, Alan gave him an almighty kick up the backside and shouted, "Give 'im 'is togs back ! 'Ell get a reet brayin when 'is mam 'n dad see t' mess 'is in. All you kids can race 'im 'ome !!" This drew loud cheers and laughter.
So Geoff's clothes were tossed back to him (minus buttons and underpants !) He hastily put his trousers on first - but they dropped as he put on his blazer - causing much mirth and amusement. He did not bother with his shirt nor with his shoes which were still tightly laced. Therefore, with his shirt and shoes tucked under his left arm and his left hand holding the front of his trousers together, he desperately tried to recover his satchel and its widely dispersed contents. The youngsters in the crowd, not surprisingly delighted in trying to pull his trousers back down and taunting him; they had a much older lad - 'one of the snobby grammar school lot' - completely at their mercy. Alan and Mick just stood back, hands in pockets, having a good laugh as the little kids tormented Geoff.
Having retrieved what books and papers he best could, Geoff set off at a trot to get free of the gang. The youngsters were intent on not letting him off that easily and mobbed him most of the way back home. Indeed one of them jumped on his back causing Geoff to lose his precious grip - his trousers dropped to his ankles and tripped him sending him sprawling, lily white bare buttocks again displayed, to the triumphant hilarity of his tormentors. They pounced on him, and proceeded to give his bare backside quite a tanning. Terribly humiliating since some of these boys were more or less only half his age ! I think Geoff's 'trunks' ended up on the crossbar of one of the gas street lights - courtesy of Roy, Alan and Mick !!!