Xak, Funny, to see your two notes this morning. I was heading downstairs to write to you, to share with you really all the thoughts that have been racing in my mind.
First, again, the 'thanks.' I mean, you spent HOURS on me....and I mean ON me. You made time for me. I had no idea it could be that intense. First, I was expecting something different.....a smack-each-other on the ass thing I think, something like we did before. I figured we might jerk in the end, but I didn't expect the intensity of my experience or even guess you had the expertise you had. God Xak, or whatever-your-real-name is, God. You, truly, are a master at the craft.
I figured out that I'm not just anyone to you. No way you would give me that attention, time, and effort...the feelings you experience are as obvious as the ones I endured. I'm not stupid. Have to share a few of my thoughts, now that I have had the time to go home and reflect on it all...
I see you as a friend and felt awkward at first out getting food but then, once in the room and playing the game, now THAT was different and OH GOD it was FANTASTIC. I did like that, and a LOT! First, the slow strip....feeling in my pants...finally grabbing my _c_o_c_k_ and pulling it out and laying it on the black little "table"...staring at my _c_o_c_k_ that was no longer mine. I think that was so _d_a_m_n_ hot....and I never knew anything could feel like that and the way you talked to me...teaching me....making me admit things and me, so SHOCKED that I could hardly talk--the intensity of the moment just so great. You....the way you held the essence of my manhood.......oh GOD, I can never forget it. I mean, you are an expert on touching a man's _c_o_c_k_. You know what to do...how to make it feel oh so _f_u_c_k_ing good....yet not too good. You would touch the tip...almost electric as you rubbed it in different directions...or you would grab it or feel it. The stuff you rubbed into it...you knew just when to do it....oh GOD. I was hard for more than 4 hours Xak! For more than 4 hours!
The cuffs...oh yes....I've never had that feeling. Cuffed, and all in the living room. The music, the pictures, figuring out my turn ons....as you "interviewed" me...._c_o_c_k_ in hand....your hand....handled just the way you wanted to handle it. God.
Finally, the brass couch.....bed.....whatever it was. When you tied out my arms my heart was racing....but THEN...the legs....I mean I was so vurnerable after that. When you left me, my ass glowing and you took a break and moved around the apartment, making a call and having a beverage, that was very intense because I tried to get out and found out I could not. I mean, I TRIED. I will probably write a story based on that waiting period alone....turn it into a fantasy perhaps. I waited...and waited.....wonderered... thought what could have been that thankfully wasnt. I realized if someone came over, you might decide to bring them in and let them swat my ass and I could not have prevented it. You could have hosted a party at 5pm and put a sign over the couch I was strapped to and there would have been nothing I could have done but yell, and a gag would have stopped that in a second. I realized that the 5pm time was nearing...people sometimes come home early. God. I struggled, and you were in no hurry and I was scared cause I didn't really know, I mean not 100% I didn't and yet I trusted you. But when you left me....alone...tied....waiting........WAITING for WHAT? For my paddling? Oh GOD, I was WAITING for a spanking....and NOTHING I could do to stop it. You didn't paddle me when I needed it.....you paddled me when you wanted to. GOD!
Finally, the swats. I mean, so perfectly timed. Just the right impact. My ass, glowing....only once did the sting REALLY burn so bad my eyes watered. I didn't know my eyes would do that...I can see if it was done wrong you could in fact, really reduce someone to tears....you could really punish someone like my stories do, and in the end leave their ass a flaming caldron that would be mangled and the tears flooding from the eyes and the face as red as the ass. Of course, no one would want that, but the fact that I was stretched out and open, exposed and at your mercy and...well, when you laid that paddle on you sent the message that you COULD...and so I HAD to do what I was told.
As a sidenote, when I got out of the shower and back to the hotel I looked at my ass. I was overjoyed to see it wasn't really damanged....I had nothing I had to hide and so you had given me the totality of the experience I "needed" without the aftermath it could have been had you not been such an expert. Perfection Paddling...yeah, a 'PP'. A 10.
Finally, the ejaculation. I mean, it was one of the most intense ones in my lifetime. I don't know how much came out...I did't see it happening as it was happening, so I don't really know. But I know that you knew just how to keep it going, just when to really concentrate the pressure, when to work the tip and when to work the dick. God. I can't do it that good myself. I don't have the skill, not even on my own body.
I thought my fantasy was to shoot my wad while I was being paddled. It's in my stories, and as you were spanking me I could have done that....it would have been easy to push my ass into that couch and blow the wad. But you had told me not to shoot and so I didn't do what I was thinking I wanted to do. But I found out there was a greater fantasy I had never imagined. Now, afterwards, its all I can think about. Perhaps....someday, when I am, once again, at your mercy. The one thing that a guy ALWAYS controls is when he cums. I mean, when you are jerking or _f_u_c_k_ing you know the feeling is building and you know when you are going to shoot even before it happens. You can always yell "I'm cumming". You can also prevent it too....you can stop the motion.... push the hand away or pull out of the pussy and let the feeling subside. Hell, you can even stop moving, and the feeling will slowly recede. You knew all that too...but your expertise goes way beyond that, as you know how to keep a guy hard and literally dripping for hours...the feeling not quite there...but never far away. Wow. Perfection...again, a 10!
But the one thing that has always been true is the feeling that happens when it happens....the extacy that just explodes out of you. Well, you took that to such an intense level...I finally pulled your hand away because I could "take" no more. I had reached the highest intensity point of what I could stand. Before I did, though, I was jerking and twisting and trying to live the feeling.....later when I got back to my room my dick was so limp and satisfied I haven't had it up since.
The fantasy, the fantasy that has taken the place of the one I had is to be tied out, my arms stretched wide, my legs open and exposed and my ass on fire, only you have turned me over, and I am facing you, and my dick is in your hand, and I am NOT IN CONTROL of what I HAVE ALWAYS HAD CONTROL OF. I could beg you....beg you to stop... beg you to continue...beg you to quit....beg you not too....but begging is all I could do. I would have no control....and in the end, God in the end...I wouldn't be able to put my hand out to stop you like I HAD TO DO. In a bigger way, larger than life way, that would be the ultimate loss of control....even more than the paddle and more than the crowd cheering. If someone was paddling me as it was happening...as I was looking in your eyes and begging you to stop, before I came...OH GOD.
I am going to write a fantasy. First though, I'm going to recover. My arms and legs are sore...sore from pulling so hard to get loose as that paddle found its mark. Thanks, Xak. Thanks a LOT.
Nathan