Todd had been up on the roof a long time; it was getting dark. He sat up on his favorite perch, an air conditioner unit. How had he got into this mess? What was with these freaks and smacking his ass? Every time that was their answer, if they don't like what he does or says Pow right to the butt. The sting in his seat had gone away a while ago but the sting to his pride was there. He buried his head in his arms and tried to calm his mind and repair the damage to his defensive wall that felt like it was about to tumble. Todd wasn't given that chance. He knew the moment Jared stepped foot on the roof. He felt him.
"Leave me the _f_u_c_k_ alone," he nearly shouted out. It didn't stop the tank and he didn't really think it would.
"That's not too smart. I could have been Brian."
"I knew it was you."
Jared walked up to the unit and looked up at the forlorn figure. His charge was really having a tough time, of his own making, but still a bad time of it. His voice was tight with an emotion Todd would never admit to. Jared swore he could hear tears in that snarly voice.
"Leave me alone, Jared."
"Guess I should have warned you about Brian's feelings on prophanity."
"No _s_h_i_t_, Sherlock."
A smile tugged at Jared's mouth. There was just no quit to Todd's mouth.
"Well you know about it now, so you can avoid any more "discussions" about it. He's just that way and with Jamie here, he's even more touchy about it."
Todd lifted his head, looking out into the night. "Hey, I know how to act around little kids, alright?"
He sounded so offended. Jared just nodded at him and changed the subject. "How's the chest?"
"Fine."
"Jan said it was pretty bad."
"I said it was fine." Todd never turned his eyes from the horizon.
"C'mon back inside. Dinner is almost ready."
"_f_u_c_k_ that _s_h_i_t_. I ain't hungry."
"Todd, you better watch those F bombs."
Jared was cut off from what he was about to say by Janet's voice. "Boys, dinner is almost done. Why don't you come in and clean up."
Todd looked from Jared to the silhouette in the doorway in aggravation. Jared leaned near and spoke quietly but very seriously. "Ansley, you want to add hurting her feelings to your mistakes with Brian?"
At the defeated look on Todd's face, Jared softened. "She's made a special dinner for you, Todd."
"Why? She don't know me."
Jared waved at Janet. "We're coming! Maybe she just wants to do something nice. People do that from time to time you know."
Jumping down from his perch, Todd glared at Jared. "Fine, I'll go in like a good little bitch."
Jared grabbed Todd just as he went to pass and spun him roughly around. "Tone down that attitude, Ansley."
Jerking his arm out of Jared"s hold Todd headed back for the door. "Why? Brian gonna kick my ass at the table if I don't?"
Todd had an idea what the answer would be but he was too mad to care. The answer he did get chilled his temper. " No, Ansley. I will."
Brown eyes narrowed at Jared skeptically. The tank's green eyes held only promise in them. "Janet is a sweet lady. That kind of disrespect I won't put up with."
Todd turned and just headed back downstairs. Jared guessed Todd believed him, which was a good thing. Todd got up from his bed; he was waiting till the last minute to leave its privacy. He came straight from the roof to change into a different shirt. His still had stains from the soaping Brian gave him. He looked at himself a long time in the dresser mirror. He saw himself cleaner than he was used to, nicer clothes that fit his skinny frame a little better, but still himself a man. Why did these people refuse to see what he saw? Shoving away he made ready to go make nice.
_s_h_i_t_ this sucks*.
When he came out, dinner was ready and the table set, the smell was wonderful. As good as the food was and it was really good, he had trouble enjoying it. Dinner was long and agonizing for Todd. These people talked during dinner, drawing it out with boring conversation and nosey questions. He felt weird and uncomfortable with the attention he was getting and the chitchat. He couldn't help the nervousness at the table and it stole most of his appetite, when asked if he could eat at the counter Jared firmly said no. What he really wanted to do was leave the room all together. Brian watched Todd play with his food and fidget all through dinner. He nearly said something, but Jared kicked him and gave him a negative nod and Brian let it go. Watching Brian with his son killed what little appetite Todd had. Brian held Jamie in his arms like he was gold, laughing at the silly things the brat did with his food. He hated the way it brought out feelings from the dark places he had stashed them long ago. Once dinner was done, Todd got up, cleaned his plate, mumbled thanks to Janet for the dinner and left the room quickly. Brian's deep voice froze him in his tracks.
"Todd. Don't go far there's desert coming."
Turning his head slightly back toward the kitchen. "No, thanks."
Todd had been in his room for a while, just lying on his bed when Brian walked in with a plate and a glass of milk.
"What do you want?"
Todd expected Brian to blast him for his attitude, expression or just breathing wrong. Instead the huge man just smiled kind of weird at him and gestured with the plate.
"Peace offering. Janet made a favorite. Banana cream pie with lots of real bananas."
Todd stared at Brian like he'd never seen the man before. The human wall was all nice now and it made funny feelings run down his spine, messed up his danger radar. The plate with a huge slice of whipped cream-topped pie was handed to him with a smile. A smile so much like Jared's.
Looking at the pie, all kinds of thoughts ran through his mind. Brian just chuckled softly at him. "Kid, you can think about tossing that at me all you want. But there is a difference between thought and action, a big difference. One will get you in hot water over your head."
Todd just rolled his eyes at him and fiddled with the fork. Clairvoyance must be a family trait. A huge hand ruffled his hair, annoying him to no end as he tried to duck the hand.
"What?" "You're
still upset about earlier. Aren't you?" "Yeah, so what's it to you?" Brian
sat down on the bed next to Todd, smiling warmly as Todd took a bite
of the pie. His puppy dog eyes closed in what could only be called
bliss or maybe pain. Brian guessed fresh pie was not readily available
on the streets. What else had this kid missed out on? "Jared told
Jan you seemed to like bananas." Todd just nodded. He was surprised
anyone noticed or cared enough to notice. "Best you get in the zone
is banana Jell-O if you're lucky." Todd said with a mouthful of pie.
Color tinged his cheeks, unsure why he said anything. Brian's heart
went out to Todd as he slowly savored the treat. Brian really felt
bad about how they seemed to clash right off the bat. "We really
got off to a bad start you and I." Todd's shoulders moved in a shrug.
"I'll live." "I'm not your enemy, Todd. No one here is but I guess
that is up to us to prove that. But you'll have to be willing to let
us." Not sure what to say to that. Todd said nothing. Brian kept
silent and watched Todd play with his desert. Not wanting to add any
more friction to what already existed between him and Todd, Brian
got up and headed for the door, before leaving he turned. "Good
night, Todd. See you in a few days." "Not if I see you first." Todd
said around a mouthful of pie. Brian just shook his head and left.
He didn't take offence or the boy seriously. The sarcasm was dulled
by the sheepish look Todd gave him. There was hope. It had been
a rotten day for Todd and the night would not get any better. Jared
came in after everyone left and was in the mood to talk. Well, Todd
didn't want to at all. Not able to take any more of what he saw as
prying, Todd shot to his feet and walked out of his room leaving Jared
in his wake. "Hey, look, Todd, we need to talk about some things
like your appointment tomorrow." Jared could see Todd was getting
close to loosing his grip on his temper. With a dismissive wave, Todd
stormed out of the apartment taking the stairs. Jared wasn't worried
about where he was going. Todd pretty much lived in the garage these
days. He'd been a royal pain lately. Jared had attributed that to
his new life here, an adjustment period if you will. Outwardly it
seemed Todd was at least trying to give it a chance. Jared was not
fooled. The kid still had his backpack packed and ready by his desk,
Jared used that, as a gauge to Todd's acceptance of his situation
so far there was none. Todd wasn't so much cooperating as he was stuffing
his feelings to the point of choking on them. Jared saw through Todd's
pretense easily enough. Todd's attitude the last couple of days
was straining the last of Jared's ample supply of patience. Todd had
tamped down his own temper so much that even a tantrum would be welcome,
almost. At least that was something Jared knew how to deal with. Right
now he had no clue what was cooking under that cold veneer Todd had.
The tension Todd brought on himself with Deek and Brian, topped with
the appointments Jared knew he was forcing on the kid was not helping
Todd's temperament. He had been sour and snarly. Snapping so much
Jared was surprised he still had a hand. Jared half expected to pull
back a nub each time he reached out. Jared walked away from the
large window he was contemplating out of and headed for the elevator.
Todd could definitely be labeled as contents under pressure. Perhaps
it was time for a little pressure release. This evening will end with
a compromise or a sore rear end for a certain young man. Jared was
flexible either way. He walked into the garage and found Todd sitting
on a stack of spare tires. Jared hung in the shadows. He didn't know
what he expected but he was not prepared to find Todd like this. Todd
was unaware of his presence. The boy was very upset. His head in
his hands, small sounds came from him. His breathing was hitched but
it wasn't sobs, more like angry hiccups as he fought for control over
them. Todd raised his head back against the wall and was clearly struggling
with his emotions. The expression on his face was like a silent scream.
His eyes were watery with angry tears. Next thing Jared knew a wrench
landed near his feet. "_f_u_c_k_!" Picking it up he stepped out
of the shadows. "It's a wrench not a boomerang, no return flight." Startled,
Todd wiped at his eyes quickly to hide any wetness. Jared walked up
to him and wouldn't let Todd turn from him or hide his face. He held
the clenched jaw in his hand with gentle firmness. Using the pad of
his thumbs he wiped under the wet lowered lashes. "Todd" "Stop
treating me like a kid. I"m not a _f_u_c_k_in' kid I keep telling
you _f_u_c_k_in' people that. But none of you _f_u_c_k_in' listen!
_f_u_c_k_! I'm almost 18 for _f_u_c_k_'s sake!" Todd jerked angrily
away from Jared and rubbed his eyes and runny nose wth the heal of
his hand wrapped in his sleeve cuff. "Guess ol' Brian is loosing
his touch. I'd think a soaping like you got earlier would tone down
the temptation to drop any more F bombs." Shooting Jared an ugly
look. What the hell is an F bomb?" "That's what Jan calls your favorite
word. Brian hates it and I'm not overly fond of it myself. So unless
you want a rinse and repeat, I'd lay off for a while. Todd glared
at Jared and just sat back down on the tires. I'm not a kid why won't
any of you see that, see me. I'm 18 _d_a_m_n_ it or close enough to
it. Just treat me like a man!" Jared leaned against Todd's workbench
and pinned Todd with his stern eerald gaze. Stop acting like a brat
and tossing a temper tantrum whenever things don't go your way," Jared
countered. Brown eyes rolled in disgust as Todd crossed his arms
over his chest in exasperation. Unaware of the infantile pose he struck.
He hated it, how Jared could stay so cool in a tense spot and make
sense infuriated Todd to the point of boiling. Jared had to swallow
a grin at how Todd's actions for all his declarations of being a man
just proved the opposite, poor kid was just fighting himself. "I
do see you, Todd, I do. "Training? Who do
you think you are, _f_u_c_k_n' Yoda?' Jared put his stern face right
into Todd's belligerent one. "No. I'm the man who will kick your
skinny, disrespectful, Skywalker ass if you don't lose the attitude.
Where did you hear about Star Wars?" Todd's reference to something
as ancient as the Sci-fi story surprised Jared. Todd, picked rocks
out of the tire treads in agitation, shrugged. "Claire, she was
a Tekie or somethin' weird that. She used to tell me stories and had
some movies. What has that to do with anything?" His tone was petulant
but Todd's posture was subdued. "Not a thing, I'm just surprised
you know anything about it. Look, Todd, I know we have had this conversation
before. I guess we will continue to have it until you understand.
What you need to understand is that, yes, at 18 one becomes responsible
for oneself, that's true. Usually, for some. For all the years you've
been on your own and you have done a miraculous job, Todd. You have.
But you haven't learned anything, but survival." This earned Jared
a very dark look. What you've done as a little kid to survive isn't
enough now and you know that. Todd, there is so much more to life
than just survival. Your options out there on the street as a, for
sake of argument, young adult are few and usually dangerous and destructive.
Times are changing and for the better. Your stuck in the dark ages,
kiddo, and without some guidance that's not going to change." Todd
glared hotly at Jared a moment then lowered his head to hide his anger. "Hey,
don't get all up set now, that's not a slam, just a fact. If I just
let you go, what then, the streets? Back to the zone? More likely
in a camp. You get caught and you're stuck there till 21, then you
do a minimum of 3 years in the guard. You told me once that you dream
of owning your own cycle shop. You go to a camp and you can kiss that
dream goodbye. The closest you'll even get to a bike is the motor
pool, maybe. No competitions, no games. Well not till your 24 anyway.
Todd, they don't take _s_h_i_t_ from anyone. You pull one of your
tantrums and they aren't going to just deal out some corporal punishment,
which by the way they do. So you won't be avoiding that by any means.
With your temper you can count on some deep phyc evals." Jared wasn't
trying to scare Todd so much as make him think about his situation.
At this time with the way the world was, people who had deep mental
trauma or physiological problems were isolated from the populous,
in work camps and in extreme cases locked away in sanitariums. Thanks
to the black out, mental health took a tremendous step backwards. "They
haven"t caught me yet." Not impressed with Todd's arrogance Jared
raised an eyebrow. "I found you and they would eventually." Todd
didn't like that and his expression said so, but he kept quiet. "Forget
the camp scenario for the moment. As it stands now that dream is light
years beyond you even now living here. Todd, you can't read." Todd
felt attacked, his ears roared and he began to grown numb. Todd didn't
raise his head, but Jared could see that Todd's breathing grew shallow,
he picked at his lower lip as he stared unseeing at the floor like
he had tuned Jared out. "You can barely write, you can't work a
computer or read a bank statement. What makes you think you can run
a business? It takes much more than even your mechanical abilities
to make that dream come true." Todd lifted his head and he flashed
Jared a wounded look as he got up to leave. Not wanting to listen
to this any more....it hurt. "SIT DOWN!" Jared bit
each word sharply, his tone meant serious business, Todd contemplated
leaving but the icy green eyes changed his mind. Instead he flopped
back down angrily and settled for glaring back. "I'm not putting
you down. These are the cold hard facts. You just don't have the tools,
the skills to make it out there. You need help; you need to be taught
how to live, Todd. I want you to have your dreams and to have them
come true. If you meet me halfway there is a good chance they will.
Is it so terrible that I care about you and want more out of life
for you than the streets? Is it?" That took all the fight out of
Todd. He had no smart-assed answer for that, no answer at all in fact.
Jared took Todd's silence as an answer alone, and was grateful for
the cease-fire. "C'mon, it's late and it's been a long day, for
you especially." Jared debated with himself on wHEther or not tell
Todd now that there was one more appointment this week. Bracing for
Todd's reaction he decided now was as good a time as any. "You might
want to put in some extra time in down here tomorrow." Jared thought
that was a nice intro. "Yeah, why?" "We have an early morning
planned day after tomorrow." Todd looked at Jared with suspicion.
"Yeah, like what?" Keeping his expression bland Jared answered.
"You have a 10:00 with Doc Roy." Todd stood up and his posture was
unmistakably hostile. Jared waited for it and was not disappointed. "Fine.
That"s great, just _f_u_c_k_ing great!" Todd could see in Jared's
unyielding face the subject was closed. Todd stalked off mumbling
unkind things about a _d_a_m_n_ tank putting it's cannon were it wasn't
welcome. Jared shut the light off the work table and followed at a
slower pace, giving himself time to go over the reasons not to kill
the kid. By the time Jared got home he changed his mind and no longer
wanted to kill Todd. Instead he was rather impressed that all Todd
did was act like the teenager he was, a pissed off one but there was
no throwing things or hitting. The penthouse was quiet when the
doors opened, only the dim hall lights were on when Jared walked off
the elevator. There was light coming from under Todd's door. Tempted
to knock, Jared changed his mind. So far the evening had ended with
a compromise albeit a problematic one. The plus was Todd could still
sit. Another small victory? Jared wasn't that optimistic. Todd paced
in his room like a caged animal. That's just how he felt , caged,
trapped and frustrated nearly to the point of doing some damage to
his room. Unable to bring himself to do anything to the nicest room
he could remember having, that and it would unquestionably bring the
tank down on him, Todd turned the frustration inward by punishing
himself with sit ups, crunches and push ups using a chair to dip deep
to the floor, he didn't stop till his arms burned and gave out. He
was tempted to sneak out down to the gym but he didn't want to take
a chance on dealing with Jared. Jared would probably let him but he
just wanted to avoid the man altogether right now. Lying on his bed
breathless and exhausted to the point of pain, his anger spent and
no longer felt like it was eating his brain. Too tired to undress,
he was so tired. Stop fighting* The small voice in the back of his
head was becoming bigger and a bigger pain in his neck. Todd just
curled his legs up tight to his chest and drifted into stormy dreams.
Very realistic dreams. He dreamt he was in a huge storm. The ground
beneath him shook with explosions of thunder. Lightning flashed bright,
he was cold and wet. Wet? He snapped awake with a clash of thunder.
Todd was disoriented and afraid. He was in the dark and all wet and
very cold. He looked up and had to blink his eyes against the rain.
Rain? Lightning flashed close lighting up the skyline and just seconds
away was thunder so loud it made his ears ring. Oh _f_u_c_k_!* He
was outside! On the roof in a storm, shirtless. He stumbled back from
the edge and ran to the door but it was locked. Todd panicked, he
had sleepwalked on to the _d_a_m_n_ roof. He banged and kicked it. "Jared!
Somebody! Wake up, Jared! Open up, dude! Please! Wake up!" Nothing.
No one came. Lightning flashed right over his head, immediately followed
by such an explosion it caused Todd to hit the ground. He belly crawled
away from the door to the brick equipment shed. He tried it's door.
It was locked, too. His level of desperation was choking him. He could
not get a hold of his fear, he could not breath, his ears roared.
Frantically he tried pounding it with his hands, ramming the door
with his shoulder, kicking, it didn't work and he only cracked the
jamb a little but that was all the give the door would allow him.
Todd cried out as another clap of thunder crashed overhead. Despair
took a hold of him. Todd slid down against the building and curled
up in a tight ball not caring he was practically in a puddle of water. "JARED
He just laid there in the rain too choked with panic
to even cry. Jared was suddenly wide awake. He lay there in bed
listening to the house. He could have sworn there was a thumping that
woke him, now there was nothing. It was quiet. Looking over at the
clock, it was 3 am. Getting up he pulled on his jeans he left by the
bed. Todd's door was open and the bed empty, a quick search found
the house empty. Jared went into his study and opened the cabinet
that housed the security monitors. Nothing on them but empty doorways
and halls. He picked up the phone. "Herb, yeah, it is early. Look
I know you would have called me but have you seen Todd, is he in the
garage? No? Jared carried the cordless phone
and looked in closets while Herb backed up the security tapes. Fifteen
minutes and 5 closets later did not turn up any sign of Todd. "No,
don't wake up anyone yet. I'll call you back, there is one more place
I can check before I call in the heavy guns. Yeah, I'll call you,
thanks." Jared looked out his study window at the storm. Where the
hell is that boy. The hairs on his neck stood up. "Ah _s_h_i_t_,
Jared!" He snapped at himself. Why didn't he think of the roof first?
He grabbed his keys, flashlight and rain coat on his way out. He checked
the alarm system by the stairway, he must have forgot to arm it before
going to bed. There were no cameras between the penthouse and roof
or on the roof so if Todd did come up here they wouldn't know. Jared
sprinted up the stairs two at a time, unlocking the roof door so it
wouldn't lock behind him he burst up onto the rooftop. The rain was
coming down in sheets so hard it almost drove him backwards, the thunder
was deafening, and Todd might be out in this? "Todd! Are you out
here? Todd answer me!" Jared swung the flashlight frantically side
to side. Horrible pictures of Todd sleep walking off the roof, being
struck by lightning, all kinds ran in his mind. He cursed himself
for not arming the door's alarm as he shouted unanswered for Todd. "_d_a_m_n_
it, Ansley!! Where are you?" Two laps around the roof's edge and
nothing. Jared even made himself look over it to see if Todd's broken
body was on the concrete walk below. Nothing, Todd wasn't at his favorite
place either, he was about to give up and call Deek when the lightning
lit up the rooftop again, something was over by the maintenance shed.
Jared's long strides had him across the roof in seconds. "Todd?" Todd
was curled in a fetal position, shirtless and soaked. "Thank God." Jared
wasn't exactly sure if Todd was awake or still lost to the dreams
that sent him walking. Not sure what to do he gently reached out.
At his touch Todd jumped and swung his fists and feet at him. He was
awake sure enough. "Todd! Todd, easy buddy. It's me." Backing
up, Jared gave Todd some space. Frightened and disoriented Todd leapt
to his feet, not sure if Jared was really there or if he just wanted
it so badly his mind was messing with him. Jared took in the figure
in front of him. Shivering, shirtless, the black tattoos stood out
on the pale skin. Rain-plastered hair hung in overly large eyes. The
boy was terrified, it was just a rainstorm but Todd was nearly mindless
with fear. He'd seen Todd like this before, in the cabin when he found
him huddled in a closet and it was during a storm. Jared backed up
another step so the pressure was off Todd. Huge brown eyes blinked
and the dark wings above them puckered. Jared slowly opened his arms
wide, like he does for Jamie to run into them. "Shhh....Easy....It's okay, Todd, C'mere, it's okay." He
wasn't sure why he did it. The lost look of naked despair on the Boy's
face perhaps, regardless of why, Jared was not prepared for the slight
figure to fling himself into those arms. Jared was so stunned he stood
there in the rain with his arms around Todd's shivering body a moment.
A clap of thunder snapped him out of it and he wrapped Todd in his
coat and quickly took him back inside. He rushed Todd straight to
the master bedroom and into the master bath. Grabbing a towel he wrapped
Todd in it tightly. Concerned by the dazed look on the pale face,
he started the water in his large bathtub. "Don't move." Jared
pulled out the phone from his coat pocket and called Herb. "Yes, I
found him, long story. Yeah we're fine. I'll fill you in later, yeah,
night." Turning his attention back to Todd, Jared laid him down
on the shaggy rug, there was no resistance at all, he seemed a thousand
miles away. Jared removed the soaked shoes and socks. A strong sense
of deja vu hit him. It took some yanking to remove the wet denim and
underwear. Todd just lay there shivering arms wrapped tightly around
himself. As soon as he was naked Todd curled up in a ball. When Jared
tired to pry open Todd's arms he just squeezed tighter. "C'mon,
kid, snap out of it, we need to get you into the tub. Don't you want
to get warm, Todd?" The only response he got was silence. Very worried
now, Jared removed his own clothes and picked up Todd's knotted body
and sat them down in the giant tub with Todd on his lap, he then hit
the tubs jets. The noise startled Todd and he jerked to life. Jared
had a time of it, holding the slippery body. "Todd! It's okay, it's
okay, your safe, calm down, your safe. Look at me!" That sharp command
cut through the panic clouding Todd's brain. He stopped fighting,
Jared could see the brown eyes actually focus on him, then looked
around where he was. "It's okay. Do you know where you are?" Todd
nodded yes. Jared looked into the dark eyes that seemed clearer now. "How
the hell did you get out there? Sleepwalk again?" Feeling embarrassed
and scared and angry at himself, all at the same time, Todd's throat
tightened he had no voice so he only nodded sadly. Long inky lashes
drifted down over the sad eyes once, twice, on the third time a tear
slipped over the lower spikes. Then another and another, soon tears
were streaming down Todd's face unchecked. Stunned, Jared wiped at
them only to have the tears replaced with more. Slowly Todd's free
arm reached out for Jared's shoulder, then the cold arm slid around
his neck, hesitantly. Jared sat perfectly still. A cold hand latched
on to Jared's warm flesh. Todd tentatively buried his face against
the large chest. Jared carefully moved his arms around Todd and held
him gently. He could feel the slender shoulders as they shook. Not
from the chills but from emotion, the only audible sounds Todd made
were occasional gasps of air and sniffles. Todd was still choking
on his control. Jared knew that, but somehow for whatever reason,
Todd was allowing himself this. Jared just held Todd tightly and let
Todd ride out his own personal storm. Later, after the water cooled
and Todd was warm, Jared drained the tub. Todd was as listless and
docile as never before. The kid just seemed out of it. Jared just
acted like this was a normal everyday occurrence as he dried Todd
off, he was quick and efficient. There were no complaints as he wrapped
up Todd's naked body in a big fluffy towel. Jared steered Todd back
to his own room and tucked him in his bed. Todd's eyes were red and
glassy with some puffiness to them and they never left Jared's. Flashes
of lightning showed through the window blinds making him jump. "It"s
okay, Todd. You're safe in here." "I know." Todd didn't sound
very sure of that at all. Jared pulled the chair from the desk over
to the bed and sat down by Todd's head. He smoothed the now damp locks
of dark hair in place, Todd closed his eyes. "There, that's a good
boy. You're safe now. That's it, just relax now." Aware that Jared
was treating him like some lost puppy, not to mention a child, Todd
didn't have any fight left in him to tell him off and it wasn't so
bad, right now. " Todd?" "Humm?" "Why are you so afraid of storms?
You told me about your dad. Is it because of that?" Todd opened
his eyes. Jared for a second thought he had hit some fuse but Todd
just looked at him. Nothing but tired sadness in his eyes. "I don't
know. I've always hated storms as long as I can remember. Rain is
just a pain in the ass you just get, can't travel in it. Lightning
and thunder, I _f_u_c_k_'n hate it." "Any idea why?" Todd closed
his eyes again. "Don't like the noise. Loud noises bother me. _f_u_c_k_'n
Stan took me shooting once. Left me in the car while he shot off rounds
from the hood of the car." Jared continued to run his hand over
Todd's hair. "Stan? Your foster father?" Keeping his tone level, Jared ignored his
anger at this man. "Just that one time?" "Yeah' but it was for hours,
I don't want to talk about it any more." A stray tear slid out from
it's fringed cage. Jared smoothed it away. "Okay, Todd. That"s fine,
go to sleep now." Jared traced the features of Todd's face, soothing
the boy, haunted eyes drifted shut, and the brow relaxed. Jared stayed
with Todd until he was sure he was asleep. He got up to leave. "Don't....go. There was an unmistakable plea in that request. Jared
was bone tired and he had no doubt that Todd was as well. "Please?" He
looked down at Todd's bed. Just right for the kid but not for a man
his size. Without a word Jared bent down pulled back the sheets and
picked Todd up like a baby. "Hey!" "Quiet. Your bed is too small
for the both of us and I don't want to sleep in the chair, so unless
you want to sleep alone in here, your sleeping in my bed tonight." That
explanation must have been enough for Todd. He didn't say another
word. Later Jared looked down at the dark head he had snuggled against
him. He never ceased to be amazed at the transformation that took
place when Todd was sleeping. His face relaxed in slumber, looked
so very young. There was no trace of the cold, grimness it carried
in the daytime. Now there was just sweet beauty, completely childlike,
down to the hairless chin. Jared smiled at how that must rankle the
little rebels pride. Jared's mood darkened thinking how unfair it
was that this was the only chance he got to see Todd free of what
emotional shackles kept him a prisoner locked behind that cold façade.
Even this freedom Todd had between dusk and dawn were sometimes plagued
with dreams that caused him to thrash around, dreams he refused to
admit he had. Jared felt robbed, robbed of the pleasure of knowing
what the undamaged, free-spirited Todd would have been like. It was
selfish but he couldn't help it. Brushing the bangs that fell across
a face that bordered on the angelic, to Jared's somewhat bias opinion,
he placed a kiss on the top of the dark head. Promising him and the
kid in his arms that one day they would both know that side of Todd,
and drifted off himself. Jared slept lightly, ready to defend him
from any more demons. Jared was the first one up in the morning.
Not so much by choice but by the fact that a certain guest kept stealing
the covers, giving up fighting for them Jared just decided to get
up and start his day. He really didn't mind. Todd, if he needed
their comfort, was welcome to them. Poor kid had a rough night. Jared
showered and while dressing in the mirror, watched Todd sleep. He
was all twisted up in the bedding. His thick mop of hair was all that
you could see of him. Jared walked over and couldn't resist touching
the stands of chocolate silk. He could never get enough of it, how
soft it was or how it seemed to have a life of its own as it curled
around his fingers. Figures. Would be just your hair that accepts
affection.* Jared thought ruefully to himself. Well it was a start.
Smiling to himself as he left the room, at least he was starting at
the top. Todd woke up all tangled in the sheets. It took him a frustrating
moment to unravel himself. Coming out of his cocoon, he found himself
not in his room but Jared's. Last night and the storm came rushing
back. He buried his face in his hands. Bile burned in his throat.
Not only did Jared now know that Todd was some sort of freak, Jared
would now think he was a whuss. He'll get no respect now, not after
last night. Todd got to his feet angrilly, catching a glimpse of
himself in the mirror, he hated what he saw as a whimp, a weak loser. "You
_f_u_c_k_'n little puss. Grow some balls!" Todd felt sick both physically
and mentally. He had humiliated himself and acted like the kid he
keeps telling everyone he's not. Going into his own bedroom, he got
dressed. He got his shirt halfway buttoned when he froze. "Aw _s_h_i_t_." Did
he really tell Jared that crap about Stan last night. "Rule number
one, keep your _f_u_c_k_in' mouth shut." Todd reminded himself out
loud. When he left his room his temper was on full boil....at himself for letting last night get out of hand, for himself
to get out of hand. "G'mornin'." Jared's cheery voice boomed when
he walked into the kitchen. "Is it?" Todd's tone and choice of
greeting said otherwise. Jared watched him jerk open the fridge door
and grab the milk jug. Something was eating him this morning. "How
are you feeling?" "_f_u_c_k_in' peachy. Why? Yeah something was
definitely wrong with Todd. He was not usually so antagonistic first
thing in the morning, that usually was saved for lunch. Todd lifted
the milk to his lips and drank from the jug. That he had never done,
at least to Jared's knowledge. Jared's green eyes narrowed. "Todd?
Is there something wrong?" Todd turned to stare angrily at Jared.
He was taken aback by the near hate reflected in the dark eyes. Jared
had no way of knowing it was aimed internally. "No. What the _f_u_c_k_
could possibly be wrong?" Todd just lifted the jug again. "Todd
don't drink from the jug. Please get a glass. Something is bothering
you." "You want to know what's bug'n me? You! Your always _f_u_c_k_ing
nosing around in my _s_h_i_t_! I'm sick of it. Sick of you and this
place and your _f_u_c_k_'n rules!" Jared was surpised by Todd's
rage, the boy was really angry. Standing up from the table Jared started
to walk over to the kid hands raised in surrender. "Calm down. Todd,
just calm down and we can talk about." "I am so _f_u_c_k_ing tired
of your _s_h_i_t_! I don't want to talk about anything with you! GET
OUT OF MY HEAD!" Todd hurled the milk jug at the cabinets. Todd
and a large portion of the kitchen were showered in white wetness. "_f_u_c_k_!" Stunned,
Jared could do nothing but stare open-mouthed as Todd stormed out
of the kitchen. Todd walked into the foryer and then looked back,
no tank? Todd thought well he wasn't sure what Jared would do but
nothing was not what he expected at all. Todd never heard or saw Mouse
approach. Mouse stepped off the penthouse elevator, there was Todd
standing with his back to him, and he was dripping in what looked
like milk. Mouse walked up behind him. "Dude! What happ...." Mouse didn't get to finish his sentence. Todd spun and
a fist plowed right into Mouse's nose. Jared looked at his milk-drenched
kitchen. Somehow he avoided the milk bath, a trail of milky wetness
led out of the kitchen. Well he might have been spared but nothing
was going to spare the kid from dealing with whatever brought this
on. Until he found out whatever it was, Jared reserved any thoughts
of murder for the moment. He stalked out of the kitchen after Todd. Jared
rounded the hall corner, just in time to see Todd punch Mouse right
in the face. When he reached the boys, Mouse was on the ground trying
to staunch a bleeding nose. Todd was just looking down at him. "What
the hell is going on?" Jared bent down to Mouse. His nose didn't
appear to be broken, just bleeding heavily. "_d_a_m_n_it! One of
you better answer me." Mouse pointed a bloodied finger at Todd,
glaring at him through watering eyes. "The _f_u_c_k_er hit me!" Mouse's
voice was so high it was a squeak. Todd thought oddly to himself that
must be the reason behind the nickname. Jared stood up and grabbed
Todd who looked like he was dazed. "Why?" Todd was just standing
there, staring at Mouse. He didn't move or answer. A rough shake got
his attention. Cold green eyes bored into him. Todd couldn't answer,
it had been an automatic response. It was over and done before he
even realized he'd thrown a punch. Disgusted Jared returned his
attention back to Mouse, and helped him up. Mouse caught the look
in the large mans eye. "Dude! I swear, all I did was walk up to
the Dude and he _f_u_c_k_'n hit me!" "Calm down, Mouse." Again
those cold eyes speared Todd. "That true Todd?" Todd could only
nod. He locked eyes with Jared and wished he was someplace else...very
far away. He saw the murderous glare in those green eyes and took
off at a dead run for the stairs. "Mouse hold your nose like this.
Now, can you get home okay? Good." Assured that Mouse was okay,
Jared took off right behind Todd. The kid had a good head start and
he was quick as a cat. Jared's long legs enabled him to leap down
several steps at once making up time. About the 9th floor Jared leaped
down the last few steps and tackled Todd just as he was grabbing for
the door. They both burst through the door and into the hallway, startling
several of the people working there. Todd got up first but a hand
on his ankle tripped him. In the next second a hand on the back of
his shirt and his pant waist had him up on his feet and suspended
in the air. "We need to have a chat, you and I. We're sorry for
disturbing everyone. Aren't we, Todd?" "_f_u_c_k_off!" Eyes like
green fire burned threateningly. Jared the human tank gave him a rough
shake, so hard is rattled his teeth. "Isn't - that - right -Todd?" "Yeah,
sa, sorry." Todd was grabbed by the arm almost painfully and dragged
behind the tank down the long hall, past the stunned onlookers. At
one point self -preservation took over and he tried to yank free. "Leggome!
Get off, _f_u_c_k_er!" All that got him was a hand of iron squeezing
the feeling out of his arm and jerked to a faster speed. Jared tossed
Todd into the private elevator. When the doors closed Jared turned
to him and lifted a finger in warning. "Not one word Ansley. Not
a single word, breath, peep or fart. You got me?" That voice could
have frozen flame into an ice sculpture. Todd nodded, rubbing the
feeling back into his arm. He felt the elevator sink instead of rise.
Jared saw the unveiled worry in Todd's face. Good. Let the punk
worry a little.* Seconds later the doors opened to the main lobby
floor and Todd was dragged out of the elevator by the scruff of his
neck. The first thought he had was that Jared was going to throw him
in the street. Strangely, he feared that more than Jared's temper.
Instead he was shoved past the surprised guards and into the gym.
Jared had been so angry at Todd he hit the wrong button. Well he had
an idea. It was dark and empty, Jared didn't seem to notice he just
plowed through the darkness. He stopped at the double doors that led
to the room Todd remembered had the punching bag it, he got scared.
A large hand slapped the lights on and Todd was pushed to the center
of the room. It was bigger that he remembered. There were some other
things he hadn't seen that night. There was a boxing ring and some
gymnastic equipment, too. Before he could take it all in, Jared began
to yell at him. "I've warned you and warned you about that _f_u_c_k_ing
temper of yours! What is with you?" Jared was really pissed, he
rarely cussed like that, let alone actually yell at him and he was
yelling now. "You just won't _f_u_c_k_ing listen! So I guess I'm
gonna have to show you again what those temper tantrums will get you." Jared
grabbed him and dragged Todd to a pommel horse and shoved him roughly
over it, holding him in place with a heavy hand. Before Todd could
react, something slapped him across his seat. Looking over
his shoulder he saw Jared's arm raised and holding a belt. Todd never
saw him take it off. When, where and how, became of no importance
as Jared lashed him across the butt again. The sound exploded off
the walls. "OW!! _f_u_c_k_!" Todd kicked and struggled
but he never moved an inch. Or if he did, the belt followed him, locked
on target and a direct hit each time. "Argh! Knockifoff!" Beyond
painful, he reacted almost on instinct. He shoved violently against
the horse and was able to shake off Jared's hold. Spinning around
he grabbed and wrapped the belt around his arm in one quick move.
Todd stared the large man in the face. Jared's face was set firm,
eyes like emerald fire and there was an edge to that deep voice that
spoke with unnerving calm as he moved into Todd's personal space just
inches from his own nose. "Don't square off with me, little man.
You wont win, all you'll do is make a bad situation worse. You have
two seconds to get back over that." "_f_u_c_k_ you!" "Or, I'll
skin those jeans off and you"ll really have something to cuss about." Todd
absolutely believed him and with a hot glare, stiffly he jerked his
arm free of the belt. He knew he had no chance of escape yet his eyes
slid to the door. "Huh uh. Don't even try, you won't make it two
feet. Just how far do you want to push, Todd. Think about it. Work
it out. Are you willing to gamble that big?" Todd couldn't make
himself take that chance, a big part of him so desperately wanted
to fight but a bigger part of him refused to bring that much trouble
on himself. That belt hurt and he didn't want to lose his pants. Angry
as he was at Jared's power over him, he was more afraid than angry.
Jared gave him a slight shove towards the horse, Todd was not done
deliberating, a second firmer shove made his mind up. With a look
that could render skin, Todd turned and faced the pommel horse hating
himself for the frightened whuss he was becoming. Just as he was about
to lean back over it, his pride rebelled. _f_u_c_k_ this _s_h_i_t_* Todd
braced his hands on the vinyl apparatus to rise back up but Jared's
large hand held him firmly to the horse, seconds later the belt cracked
painfully against his bottom. He couldn't keep his cry behind his
teeth. "_s_h_i_t_!...._f_u_c_k_er!" Jared laid on five hard licks. Tough as he thought himself
to be Todd couldn't help it, he even begged Jared to stop. "Please!
Stop it _f_u_c_k_ Jared Jared staaaahhhhpa!" Todd's anger dissolved
under the lash of the belt followed by his bravado, leaving him afraid
and feeling small and very close to bawling. Each lick made Todd yelp
in pain. He couldn't stop himself. Jared stopped after just five more
very hard licks but it was all he could make himself deliver. The
pained cry's pierced Jared's resolve, visions of Todd and bloodied
and bruised flashed in his mind. Jared weakened, he couldn't rid himself
of those images. Jared flung the belt at the door. Angry at Todd
for being such a brat, was the only term he could come up with and
angry at himself for being unable to give this brat's stubborn butt
what he was begging for. Once again, against his better judgment Jared
let Todd off easy. Though Todd didn't see it that way. Todd felt
Jared's hand ease up and that was all he needed, his anger flared
white hot. Jared let go of Todd, he was almost too late in his reaction
to the fists that swung wildly at him. Images of young abused Todd
faded before the older, dangerous Todd. Jared's own temper quickened. "Boy,
you just don't learn. Fine, you want to fight me?" Todd was picked
up like a sac of grain and tossed up on ropes of the close by boxing
ring. Before he could get through the ropes he was pushed through
them and down onto the mat, Jared right behind him. Todd's temper
was ruled by panic, he scrambled to his feet and blindly lashed out
at the big man with his fist. His blows were easily deflected, like
they were no more than a pesky fly and he got a smack in the face
for his effort. Not hard but it did not feel good, it brought him
up short. "C'mon, kid. Show me what you got." Jared stood toe
to toe with him. He opened his arms wide. "Here I am. Take a shot
kid." Todd was never one to pass up an opportunity so he threw a
punch. Again it was deflected and Jared smacked the other side of
his face. "Whatsamatter, Toyboy? C'mon, tough guy, you like to hit
so much, so hit me." "C'mon fight me like, show me what a man you
are." Todd's temper erupted, he attacked Jared with every thing
he had and he knew how to fight. Jared was impressed. Todd had a style
all to himself, and if he wasn't so blind with anger, Todd might be
a small challenge. Jared was still able to dance around him. "Stand
still, _f_u_c_k_er!" Jared smiled but it was without humor it was
geared to infuriate the boy and it worked. Todd was about to have
a melt down. Todd swung wildly, but he could never land a punch. Jared
ducked or deflected all of them with an ease that was frightening.
Jared's hands however managed to pop Todd with perfect precision,
each time. His face, the back of his head, chin, and his ass. Those
hits pissed off Todd the most. Jared just finished roasting his ass
with a belt and nearly every opportunity he landed a hard blow on
that throbbing area. Todd realized he didn't stand a chance, but pride
kept him from giving in. Soon his temper gave way to frustration at
not being able to hit Jared or block Jared's hits. Frustration gave
way to something else. It shook him up, made him feel small, helpless,
which sparked his anger or was it fear. The lines began to blur between
the two. Jared watched Todd closely. He wasn't hitting the kid hard.
The smacks did not even leave a pink mark, yet they were working.
Todd didn't look so angry now. He looked like a scared little boy,
he was slower now, concentrating on his attack and anticipating where
the next smack would hit. Todd's punches became calculated but also
more hesitant and he flinched after each one, knowing a smack was
coming. Soon there were more flinches than punches. Jared was sure
the kid was done. Most of the fight had left Todd a while ago. "Are
we done, do you still want to hit someone?" Jared knew that Todd
had been putting up a show for pride's sake, but he was running out
of pride at the moment. Todd was bent at the waist with his hands
braced on his legs. Sweat poured down his face and his breath was
labored with gasps that sounded suspiciously like sobs. Jared knew
Todd would never admit to them being anything close to that. Bloodshot
eyes glared at him but all Todd did was nod silently. "Good. Look,
I know you think your life sucks right now. I'm sorry you feel that
way. But you don't go punching people in the face because of it. Buddy
you hit any thing that lives, breathes or eats....I don't
care if it's just a plant, I'll make earlier feel like a day at the
races. Don't ever make me have to use a belt again. Oh believe me
Todd, I will use it again if you raise a hand to anyone again. I'll
lay it on so hard that even just the word belt alone will hurt." Todd
just snapped back, his voice horse with tears. "I didn't make you
use the _f_u_c_k_ing thing in the first place." Bending down to
become eye level, Jared put his face into Todd's. "Didn't you?" Todd
lowered his eyes giving in, Jared's alpha dominance on full display.
Todd couldn't help it but a slight shudder ran down his spine at the
thought of any further sessions with that _d_a_m_n_ belt. Nodding
his head that he understood he waited in the uncomfortable silence
that stretched out between them. Todd fought to get control over his
breathing and his emotions, he was so close to just losing it and
bawling right here, his butt really hurt, he could feel his heart
beat in it, or it felt like he could. Jared climbed out of the ring,
he turned back to face Todd who looked wholly confused and unsure
right now. Jared hardened against the boy's distress. "Come over
here." Hating himself for his obedience Todd slid through the ropes
and found himself in front of the tank like a scolded puppy. Jared
just pointed to the punching bag. "You want to hit something you
hit this. No one hits around here, not me, Mouse or even Deek. We
all use this." Jared punched the bag to punctuate. "To take it out
on the bag not the body. You get pissed and want to hit someone. You
come down here and wail on this whenever you need to. Have I made
this clear enough now?" Jared waited for Todd to make some smart
assed remark about how he's just been hit. Todd only listened and
kept his eyes on the floor. Jared knew he got his point over, no reason
to belabor it or he'd loose Todd's attention that way. The dark head
moved in a positive motion. "Then we're done here. No garage the
rest of the week." "What? You can't do that. You got no right."
A blonde eyebrow arched in challenge. " I can do that and I have
every right, it's my garage. Want to make it off limits all next week
too?" Jared turned and walked away without Todd's answer, dreading
the fireworks sure to come. "No, "Such as?" Todd
shrugged nervously. Jared didn't miss the hand that reached behind
to discreetly rub. "I left the welding torch out and my....the tools are not put up." There was no open hostility just a nervous
avoidance of eye contact. Jared relented just happy Todd didn't lose
his temper over it. "Okay, fine. You will be home no later than
6:00. After that no more garage for the week. Clear?" The kid was
clearly displeased and nearly argued with him. Jared swallowed a grin,
as that hand reached back again to test tender flesh. He didn't miss
the frown that twitched on Todd's brow for a microsecond. He waited
while Todd weighed his choices. "Yeah....clear." Smart
choice little rebel* "Good." Todd watched as Jared picked up his
belt and left the gym. Alone now his traitorous temper reared its
head. *chicken _s_h_i_t_* he walked over to the punching bag and for
a long moment just stared at its worn leather body before giving it
a half-hearted sock. There was something close to satisfaction to
the sound and feel of it. Hitting it again harder this time Todd was
rewarded with the same sensation. He began to unleash his temper on
the bag. He didn't really mind the sting in his knuckles it felt....almost good, took his mind off the other part of him that
had been stinging. Just like most evenings Deek finished his last
lap of jogging up and down the buildings ten flights of stairs and
was headed for the gym to hit the weight room and showers. He walked
in though the door and headed for the mirrored wall lined with nautilus
machines and rows of neatly stacked weights. He froze, a small noise
caught his ear. Moving to the double doors that separated boxing area
from the rest of the gym, he saw Todd at the punching bag. He was
noticeably upset and having some difficulty. "_f_u_c_k_!" It wasn't
helping the boy's mood any either. Deek decided to risk a few pointers
before the kid injured something. He walked up on silent feet and
watched Todd attack the hapless bag. There was the promise of some
talent in the kid's moves, he was quick, just untrained. Todd felt
the hairs on the back of his neck prickle, startled he swung around
to face Deek's placid face. "Wanna let me show you how to really
hurt that thing," Deek asked mildly. Todd's openly startled expression
turned cold and unreadable. There was something deep going on behind
those dark eyes. Deek was prepared for the negative response but was
surprised with a curt nod. "Well all right, boy." Todd waited
for Deek to blast him about hitting his precious rat boy but Deek
said nothing and Todd didn't bring it up either. Deek put Todd in
the proper stance and distance from the bag and he got on the other
side of it to steady it for Todd's punches. He called out the blows. "Ready?....right,
left, right, right, left, jab....good...sock it to it, baby...yeah
that's it." Deek paid close attention to Todd's face. It was completely
focused on his task. But there was something intense going on with
the kid, but he wasn't giving the bag all he could give...Todd was
holding back on something. After a good long while Deek called halt
and gave Todd some more pointers as well as grab some boxing gloves
for Todd his fists were very red. "_d_a_m_n_. I should have had
you put these on first. They'll be sore in the morning.' Todd just
shrugged and jammed his hands into the gloves. Deek showed him how
to fit them and help lace them. He couldn't get over the boy's face.
_d_a_m_n_ pretty white boy. Finely featured, angelic, elfin even,
was a good description of his face. In sharp contrast to whatever
was always boiling just beneath the surface. Not even the way his
hair was matted to his forehead with the sweat that ran down his face
and soaked his t-shirt detracted from his Hollywood looks. The kid
was a lot like Jared. Masculine on the outside and mascara on the
inside. Deacon wasn't being unkind in his opinions. He didn't look
down on Jared's life choice, he respected and accepted the man for
who he was. Todd? Time would tell. Jared's choice in relationships
didn't matter to Deek. It was whether or not one was to be trusted.
This little man had a lot going on inside. Maybe knocking the stuffing
out of the punching bag would unload some of whatever it was that
was weighing down the kid. "Ready to go again?" Another curt nod.
And they began again. "YEOW! Look out...kid's hot, baby...yeah...that's
what I'm talking about....good, jab jab, left, right,
right, Good job, Todd, real good." Deek still felt Todd was holding
back. Like he was afraid to let loose. He called for another break. "Good,
okay...Todd, try this...hit it like..I don't know..like someone who
messed with your bike or something or kicked your dog." Deek got
a sharp look from Todd. "What kid?" Todd just lowered his eyes
before Deek could read anything into it. Todd shook whatever it was
off and began to hit that bag a little harder. "Harder, Todd harder!
Again...again. Hit that bag..again....put a name to it...give it a
face, own it!. Yeah that's it...Hurt it, Todd. Harder!" Todd did
what Deek said and began to hit harder and harder...it felt good,
he could feel a building of something and it wanted out. He could
hear himself grunt loudly with each punch. Closing his eye's he gave
the bag a face and hit with all he had... but then there was another
face and soon another before he knew it the bag was gone and standing
in front of him was all the faces of his nightmares, he punched and
punched but fear was crushing his anger and stealing his strength. Watching
Todd all the while, Deek saw him start to let it go, he could feel
the strength behind those punches grow as the bag slammed against
him with each punch, there was some surprising power in them. Todd
was starting to exercise those demons. Then the oddest thing happened.
Todd's face paled and his punches grew weaker and his punches began
to falter and then no more hits. Deek stood silently with Todd who
was just staring at the bag now, his breathing had been labored a
second ago but was now shallow and jagged to the point of stopping
altogether. The boy's lips even darkened. Todd even seemed to have
forgotten he was standing next to him. "Todd? You all right, kid?" Todd
snapped out of it, and looked at Deek like he just materialized out
of the blue. There was a panicked look for just a split second then
the boy backed away from the bag. He began to rip off the gloves. "Yeah...fine.
I'm done." There was a ferocity in his voice. Deek was not sure
where it came from but he didn't want Todd to leave like this, to
just let his anger swallow him whole. "No...you're not. Not just
yet. Gotta cool down those muscles." It was true and a good excuse
to keep the kid from storming out. Todd looked at him like he was
trying to decide if he was going to tell Deek to _f_u_c_k_ off or
not. Deek waited and watched for the decision. He saw some of the
tension leave and assumed it was decided in his favor. Todd's eye's
darted back to the bag and then briefly to the black giant in front
of him and nodded. "Good. C'mon over here." Deek lead him to a
large mat that covered a 24X24 area of floor. "Ever hear of Qigong?" The
only answer he got was a silent shake of the head. Well that was fine.
"It's a type of martial arts...but slow and mellow...like a dance
but with a hidden power behind the movements. It's a great way to
cool down." It was a better way to cool down a hot temper but Deek
chose to keep that little secret to himself. In fact he was going
to show Todd Tai Chi instead of Qigong for starters Todd would not
know the difference. Deek stood away from Todd, so not to get in the
kids space and stood relaxed and straight. Todd did the same...minus
the relaxed part. Deek stared very slow, making clear, repetitive,
fluid movements and deep breaths. He watched as Todd deftly mimicked
his movements, stiffly at first then more and more softly and correct.
Soon he and Todd were moving in sync. Todd's color was back and he
was breathing deeply now. Todd wasn't totally relaxed but he wasn't
so hostile now. Deek would almost say Todd seemed to be enjoying this,
going a step further Deek tossed in a the end some breathing exercises,
soley for the purpose of relaxing and calming the mind, he just let
Todd think it was all martial arts. Todd surprised him at how much
promise he was showing at Tai Chi, Deek would talk to Jared about
allowing him to teach Todd more...it could only help. "Okay, I think
that's enough. Why don't we head out now and get some dinner." Todd
slipped his shirt back over his head, he'd taken it off earlier. "Naw,
I need to go clean up in the garage" While the kid was no longer
hostile, he wasn't all warm and fuzzy either. "Okay, kid. Hey you
did great for a first timer. Think you'd like to workout again sometime." All
Deek got was a noncommittal shrug but it beat a kick in the ass, as
far as he was concerned it was an improvement. Todd left the gym and
headed for the elevator. He had to walk past the guards who averted
their glances, all except for one. The older guard smiled and shook
his head slightly. Not so much to patronize but understanding that
it'd been a rough day. Just wanting to be alone, Todd was less than
tickled when the elevator doors opened and there was Meg with sacks
of what looked like food around her on the floor. She didn't miss
the exasperated look on the boy's face. Not one to let such small
things ruffle her feathers, she smiled brightly. "Hi, sweety." Todd
made eye contact but that was it. He stepped in and pushed the button. "Bad
day, huh?" The beautiful head of rich, dark hair nodded. The elevator
beeped as they stopped at her floor. "Well don't just stand there,
boy, help an old lady with all these bags." Confused, brown eyes
met steady, hazel eyes. She was looking at him like he was simpleminded.
Todd bent and hefted several bags for her and followed to the apartment
door before he found his voice. "I don't think you want me in your
house?" "Now why would you say that? Set your bags on the kitchen
counter please." Todd stood in the open doorway and readied himself
for her to kick him out. "I hit Mouse." "I know, hurry now, I need
to get the milk in the fridge." He was surprised. She acted like
he just made a comment on the weather. "Aren't you.... like upset?" Taking the milk from Todd, Meg directed him where
to put the rest of the groceries. "Should I be? I trust Jared had
a humm....discussion about it with you." The boy across
from her nodded, not meeting her eyes. "Then, no, I'm not upset. It's
over and you paid for your actions. Paid a high price, didn't you?" Heat
flushed Todd's face. Did everyone know he got his ass roasted? Taking
pity on the boy's embarrassment, she said, "Your having a tough time
here, aren't you, sweety?" His eyes averted her's. Giving her the
answer she already knew. She poured a large glass of milk and set
a bag of cookies down on the counter he was leaning on. "Here, sit
with me. You and Mouse, well that will work itself out. There are
just some things that aren't allowed. Like borrowing Deek's wallet,
cussing around Brian and me by the way. More important, you don't
throw punches as people. It's just that simple." Todd just spun
his glass around as he listened to her waiting for the yelling to
start. But Meg's voice never grew any louder. A warm, soft hand placed
on his, stopped the glass, she rubbed his hand with hers soothingly.
Todd began to relax almost against his will. Her vanilla fragrance,
kind eyes and voice seemed to place him in a mellow mood. "You can
talk to me, honey, anytime." All she got was stoic silence. "Men,
you all have to be so tough, don't you?" she teased. Cold eyes lifted
from the glass of milk. "I wouldn't know, according to Jared I'm
not a man." There was bitter resentment in his tone. "Oh, sweety,
off course you're not a man, Todd, you're only 17." Todd just leaned
back in his chair and folded his arms. He was so tired of all that
crap. "I am 18. I'm....or will be 18 in a few months." "Okay,
but that still only makes you an 18-year-old boy." His tone matching
the insolent look Todd cast the older woman. "Boy? Yeah I got your
boy." Meg was not impressed with Todd's loutish remark. "Don't be
vulgar. Fine, a young adult if you prefer but still not a man. Honey,
it will happen but not just yet. Not for a few more years. It takes
time and growth, learning, not birthdays alone." Slouching on his
arms, Todd fought her logic. "Yeah? What about Ra....Mouse?
He's what, 20? And everyone talks about him like he's just some kid,
too." Meg smiled indulgently. "You're right, Mouse is 20 and he
is as you are, mature for your age." She added to sooth bruised teen
pride. "Yes, because like you, he's had a less than pleasant childhood.
You are both mature, yes, all grown up? No. Mouse still has some growing
to do, but not a great deal, you have to understand he has a few years
on you." A look of utter disgust appeared on the boy's face. Meg
felt for him. "Todd, I've raised three boys, Brian was ten and Jared
was just a baby when I was hired. Then a few years ago Mouse came
to us. So I have some experience with this subject. And I have found
that real adulthood doesn't show till your mid-twenties, sorry but
that is just how it is." Raising a dark eyebrow, Todd tested her
theory. "What about Jared. He's in his mid-twenties." A rye grin
lifted the corners of Meg's lips. "Yes. Yes, he is. He is most definitely
an adult. Do you see him differently? Other than an adult?" Sharp
hazel eye's sparkled with challenge. Todd didn't. The three men he
found his life tangle with were perhaps the most adult men he'd ever
been in contact with. "No." Todd dropped his head to the table in
frustration. Meg rubbed a hand through the silky mop of dark hair.
It was in bad need of a trim. Todd let her work her magic on his scalp,
it felt like heaven. Long buried memories of similar touches clouded
his brain. Todd let himself be wrapped in them like a favorite blanket. Meg
knew the affect her touch was having on the boy. He was giving in,
just a little. She could almost feel the inner turmoil, she had no
doubt he wanted to give in to life here, to Jared's. He just couldn't
bring himself to, just yet. So much young male pride to over come. "Sweety,
no one expects this to be easy on you, okay no one does. It's hard,
it's different from what you're used to, I know. But you have to give
it a chance, Todd. Give Jared a chance." That same soft hand reached
for his buried chin and lifted it to meet firm hazel eyes. " He truly
cares about you, Todd, he...." Whatever she was about
to say was interrupted by the phone. "Oh, sugar!....here
have some cookies, I'll be right back." Todd sat at the counter
in an odd state of relaxed comfort. Reaching for a cookie he popped
it in his mouth. Closing his eyes Todd enjoyed the sweetness of it
and the mood he found himself in. The mood was ruined quickly by a
door in the wall opening, Mouse walked into the apartment. He froze
at the sight of Todd sitting in Meg's kitchen and bristled. "What
the _f_u_c_k_ are you doing here?" Whatever he was just feeling
dissolved at the acid tone from the short blonde. With a sigh of regret,
Todd got up from the counter and faced Mouse, he opened his mouth
to begin to apologize. Blue eyes narrowed in contempt. It would be
a waste of breath. Todd just headed for the door but he was grabbed
by the arm. "I asked you a question, asshole." Jerking his arm
free. Todd noticed the blacked area between both of Mouse's eyes and
his temper cooled. He had done that and it didn't sit well with him. "What
are you doing here?" " I'm leaving, that's what." Mouse pointed
at the door. "There's the door. Don't let it hit you in the ass on
the way out." Watching with smug satisfaction as Todd left. Mouse
grabbed the bag of cookies off the counter and popped a few in his
mouth. "Mouse? Where is Todd?" "Gone." Shooting Mouse a sharp
look Meg hurried to the door but the hallway was empty. Stepping back
into the apartment she found Mouse drinking the glass of milk she
had poured Todd. "Boy." Mouse blinked back at Meg in innocence,
the look she cast him nearly soured his milk. "What?" Jared was
sitting on the couch staring off into oblivion. He had no idea he
was being watched. "Something going on, girl friend?" Looking
up to find Deek smiling at him, Jared just let out a big sigh and
gestured for him to have a seat. "Deek, with Todd, there is always
something going on." "Uh oh. What the brat do now?" Leaning back
deeper into the couch Jared found he was still pretty upset over this
morning, he could hear it in his own voice. "Oh nothing much, just
that he had a melt down in the kitchen and followed that up with punching
Mouse in the nose." Deek's dark eyes widened. "What?" "Yeah, socked
him clean between the eyes." Seeing his friend frown, Jared clarified.
"Mouse is fine, his eye's blackened some but nothing is broken. Meg
called to let me know he was okay, pissed but he'll live. Todd? I'm
not so sure of." Relaxing after the momentary shock and concern
for Mouse passed Deek got more comfortable himself. "Any idea what
set him off...other than just breathing." Shaking his head sadly
Jared looked over at his best friend. "Deek, I don't know what to
do." "Bull_s_h_i_t_." Looking up into Deeks stern features. "What?" "You
heard me. That's bull_s_h_i_t_ and you know it, don't you?" Tiredly
Jared nodded. "I know, Deacon...I know. I...I just can't get past
this." He tapped the file on the coffee table containing details of
Todds' past and the horrible photos of his abuse. "Yeah, it's tough.
But you signed on for this, girlfriend. You gotta see it all the way." "I
know, Deek, I know that." Deek glared meaningfully at Jared. "I
know you think you know. Tell me, Jared, how many warnings and second
chances are you going to dish out before the kid catches on to the
empty threats and then where are you? You're the one that said you
wanted to give him structure, safety, discipline a real home. You
can't do that if there is no respect. Right?" Raking a hand in agitation
threw his blond hair Jared stood and began to prowl the room. "Aw,
Deek I know what my gut tells me to do. But my mind gets all wrapped
up in this. There's no doubt he has it coming..frequently. But is
it the way to handle Todd. He's so...I don't know...so....so Todd all the time. Brian said the same thing you have. Bust
his ass. I just don't know if it is the way to handle him. He is practically
grown." Deek looked at his friend with a look of utter annoyance.
"You're full of _s_h_i_t_ and you know it. Since when has age....under 21 anyway stopped us from getting our tails whupped?
Girlfriend, you almost got that white, 25-year-old ass of yours beat
just a few weeks ago. Don't use that played out excuse it don't cut
no slack and you know that well." Deek could see that Jared was
very upset and confused. He changed the subject. He told Jared how
he found Todd in the gym. "Yeah, I know he was down there. Did you
know that little punk tried to run from me after he punched Mouse.
I nailed him on the computer floor. We gave them quite a floor show." Smiling
Deek could imaging the looks the must have got. "No, I didn't know
that. I'll just bet you did. So how did he end up in gym?" Hooded
green eyes lifted with a sparkle of mischief in them. "I dragged our
little rebel without a clue down there and roasted his ass with my
belt. How was he? Todd was pretty upset, upset enough to take a swing
at me. I put him in the ring for a lesson, I don't think he'll pull
that again. Can you believe that? Right after he got his butt beat." Deek
looked at Jared sternly. "What I can't believe is that you let him
off so easy. You should have taken his hide off for that crap, Jared,
he looked nowhere near as punished as that boy should have been." Sheepishly
Jared agreed. "How was he when you found him?" "Pissed at the world."
Deek told him about showing him how to hit the bag and Todd's bizarre
way of reacting to the bag. "I honestly can't tell you what happened,
Jared. I told the kid to put a face on the bag and if he did, it was
the face of Satan himself by the look on the kid's face." Jared
was in deep thought for a long time. "Deek, I am never going to get
anywhere with him if I can't get him to unload whatever is eating
him. And it's eating him alive." Deek stood to leave the room. "Jared...you
will, just not overnight. I know that, you know that, we all do. As
for the rest of them." Deek pointed to the folder on the desk. "You're
not one of them. You would never beat him, tempted to? Hell, yes,
who wouldn't be with his mouth. But you never would. That file is
his past, Jared, you're his future and if he's going to have one it
will be because you kept him safe and in line. You gotta go with your
gut. Follow your instincts, they've been right so far. Jared, the
best thing you can do for that boy is, praise him when he's good,
spank his ass when he's out of line. I know it sounds too easy but
it's the best anyone can do for a kid." Jared was left with a lot
to think about. Deek made a lot of sense, the man always did. Picking
up the file, Jared placed it back in his desk drawer. There was a
lot of truth to what Deek and his brother had said. Returning to the
kitchen and making dinner preparations Jared knew they were right.
It was time to think about Todd's future.
More stories by Frost Spinner