Dear Linda,
I don't know where to begin. I am so embarrassed, and so ashamed that all I can say is 'I'm sorry.' Yesterday was the worst day of my life. I guess you know that already. Being sixteen and a half you would think I would be a little too old to be spanked by my father. Yeah, it's hard to believe he still spanks me like a little kid, but well, now you know and there isn't much I can say. He doesn't do it very often, and the last time was almost a year ago, when I got caught with my cousin drinking and then lied about it afterwards. I have to really screw up to get spanked, but yeah, when I do then its a bad deal and now you know. Still, I'm so humiliated I can hardly write. You got to see it all first hand, and _s_h_i_t_, knowing you were there, in my closet, and watching it all happen is just destroying me.
I'm grounded too, on top of everything else, so I can't call you, and I'm sneaking this email in hopes that you will get it and at least understand and try and not hate me. I have a big favor to ask. Please don't tell anyone! I mean that...please! Double please! I'm begging you. I'll just die if they find out at school!
You know, I was so excited about yesterday, and all week at school I could hardly wait for the weekend to get here. Just knowing you were going to come over and that my old man had to go in to work was really exciting. Knowing we were going to be alone together was just really hot. Thanks for coming, and I just wish it had gone better. God....it was so cool having you over, and I really liked kissing you. I mean it. Your mouth was really wet, and well, I like you a lot. A LOT! It was so much fun, and when you were hugging me, well.....and we were laying on my bed and just rolling around....well, it was just so great! I'll never forget some of the things you said either. You are so cool and I really mean that. I've never had a real girlfriend and so it was really special. It was just so hot and I was so excited. You kiss great too! I don't know...it was starting out to be the best day of my life, and then, well, my Dad _f_u_c_k_ed it all up when he came home.
I know I promised we would be alone....my brother was spending the weekend with a friend, my mom was at a Bridge tournament in Springwater, and my dad was supposed to be working all day. I guess he went by the post office and picked up the mail during his lunch break, and after he saw the letter from school apparently he came straight home after that. I had no idea....so don't be too mad at me for that...OK? There was no way I could have seen that coming. Still, what can I say? I could have _s_h_i_t_ when I heard the garage door opening!
You can move fast I'll give you that! Yeah....making out was really hot, and then, when my dad showed up suddenly and came bounding up the stairs and you jumped in the closet just in time _d_a_m_n_ it was close. Funny, but I just never even suspected I was in that much trouble. I was hoping he would just say what he had to say and let me be alone....and then go back to work, but boy, he was mad! I knew I was in for it as soon as I saw his face, and when I saw that note from school in his hand, and he started reading it I KNEW I WAS DOOMED! _s_h_i_t_, I just didn't know what to do then....and when he told me to get my paddle and to drop my pants and get over his lap NOW I just could have died.
I sure didn't want you to see it. That's why I was trying to reason with him so long...begging him I know....I was and I hate it but I had no choice. I know I begged him like a ten year old....but _s_h_i_t_...I would have said ANYTHING to get him to put it off. I hope you understand. Not that it did any good...but _s_h_i_t_...you were in there and I was begging him cause I knew I was screwed if he started. I really hate it when he starts counting..... ONE........ TWO................ I mean, _s_h_i_t_, when he was doing the count thing for me to get my paddle there wasn't anything I could do. You can't reason with him once he starts with the numbers.
When he hit THREE and grabbed me and started jerking me around until I gave him the paddle I just started freaking. Of course, it got worse quick after that, and when he made me drop my pants I didnt know what to do! I had to! If I hadn't he'd have ripped them off me, and if that had happened I'd have got another spanking just for that. It was so humiliating....you have no idea and I would have given up my allowance for the rest of my life to have been anywhere else in the world.
I know you saw it all! God. I was beggin him to let me at least keep my underwear, pleaded with him, but even when I was begging I knew it wasnt gonna happen cause when he gives a hiding he always does it on the bare. You heard him say what he always says...that my pants havent done anything wrong so he's not going to spank them. Yeah, I knew my pants were coming down. Still, knowing you were in the closet I HAD TO BEG....._s_h_i_t_. When he told me to lose my underwear NOW I was shaking.....and hell, I even almost told him....cause he would have sent you home first at least.
Of course, he would have all but killed me then. I just don't know what he would have done if he had caught me with you in there but I'm pretty sure my dating days would have been over for a long time. So, well, I just couldn't tell him that even though I had to pull my underpants down with you watching. You know, I tried to turn around, to keep some modesty I guess, and I know he was surprised when I faced him instead of my closet when I took em down. But _s_h_i_t_....what else could I do?
Then, when he made me bend over his lap....OH GOD I WAS SO EMBARRASSED! You have no idea! I knew the way he was holding me that you were looking right up my ass. God. I know you saw IT...and my balls too. I was so ashamed! Yeah, you just have no idea what it was like knowing you were watching as he turned my bottom cherry red. It was all I could think about, knowing you were watching the whole time too, and I knew you were seeing EVERYTHING and hearing EVERYTHING. I really tried not to cry. Of course, that just got him madder and he knows how to get to me. Yeah he does. When he pulled my legs apart and started working the inner areas along my crack I was just so humiliated, and yet it hurt so _f_u_c_k_ing bad I couldn't stop myself from crying after that. I know I cried like a little kid too, but he just kept it up, using that paddle to burn my ass until it was fried.
I heard you giggle when I let that fart....that was so embarrassing too and after that my dad just really turned up the heat. I didn't do it on purpose, and thank GOD he didn't hear you....but when he spread my cheeks and pulled them wide apart so he could paddle the inside of my thighs it just happened and I knew you were laughing and I was so embarrassed and yet so scared he would hear that I just can't even describe it.
I'll share a secret with you. I had to make it you know. The paddle---yeah, I actually had to make it myself. When I turned thirteen my dad made me cut it out of a piece of black walnut and sand it smooth....I varnished it myself too. The flat part is eight inches long and four inches wide--I know cause Dad made sure it was. He wanted it just the right size so he could use it to "thoroughly cover a boy's bottom." Those were his words! My brother has one too, same size as mine. They are both a half inch thick and they are heavy and solid and with that handle for leverage they hurt like hell. My brother had to make his when he turned thirteen too. Dad calls them "teenage attitude adjusters" and they sure make an impression, and fast. You saw the holes I'm sure. Well, each time we get spanked he drills two more holes in our paddle after he's done, so that if there is a next time it will sting even more. My paddle has always stung like _s_h_i_t_ anyway and the holes of course just make it worse.
Yeah, we each have our own, and we have to keep them out, right on top of our dressers. Dad wants them out. He says they need to be kept ready and waiting for our bottoms, just in case. They are supposed to be a reminder. Yeah, we each have our own and I am supposed to keep it on top of my dresser and that's why dad was so mad when it wasnt there. Of course, I had hid it when I knew you were coming over. The last thing in the world I wanted you to know about was my _f_u_c_k_ing paddle.
Anyway, _s_h_i_t_, when I had to pull it out of my drawer that's why he was really pissed, and I knew when I handed it to him that I was gonna be getting it big time. I was shaking. I was. I just didnt know what to do, and that time, just before he bent me over, when I was really shaking and my voice was cracking like I was thirteen or something, well, that's when I was about to tell him you were there. I really considered it cause I just didn't want you to watch. But like I said, I just couldn't bring myself to tell. If he had known you were in my closet he would have sent you home and then I think he probably would have paddled my ass right off. I don't know exactly what he would have done to me after you left, but I just couldn't take a chance to make him any madder. I would have at least gotten it twice for sure....once for the cutting class thing and then again for having a girl over when no one was home. I just couldn't let that happen, and well, I knew I was in for it big time as it was, and my bottom sure couldn't have taken any more. No way. Anyway, thats why I just couldn't do nothing....just had to take it and I tried to take it like a man. Yeah, I know....I didn't but I tried.
I don't get it very often. I really don't. You gotta believe me. It's not like I'm getting spanked all the time like some eight year old. Dad's normally great, and as long as we behave ourselves we have a super time. He's strict, but he's usually fair, and he has always been that way so I can usually figure him out and stay out of trouble. Still, he does say that we have to learn that there are consequences for our actions. I just wish the consequences didn't include that _d_a_m_n_ paddle. I hate it! Anyway, we don't get it very often. Most times he just takes away something I like, like the phone or the PS2 or the TV. Sometimes I have to do extra chores, or it costs me my allowance. Still, when my brother or I screw up with something really big then that's when he gives us what he calls a "bottom warming."
We've been warned plenty of times, so you would think we wouldn't be so stupid. I knew I was taking a chance last week when I cut school with Billy and Greg and the other guys. At the time I knew, but hell, I HAD TO GO and we did have fun and when I forged the note I thought I had it all covered. I sure as _s_h_i_t_ NEVER thought I would get caught. I sure _f_u_c_k_ed that up though. But _s_h_i_t_....just never thought this would happen. Never in a zillion years. I'll never cut class again--not ever! I won't and I mean it.
I hated you seeing me getting spanked. I know I cried, and when I was bent over and the snot was coming out of my nose and I was kicking and screaming and crying like a _f_u_c_k_ing baby I just hated myself but every time that _f_u_c_k_ing board cracked into my ass the pain just shot up and right through me and there wasnt anything I could do. Yeah, I cried and cried...I know I did....and yet even so I couldn't help myself. Please don't be too ashamed of me...please!
Crack crack crack crack crack..................I didn't think he was EVER gonna stop! Of course, when it was finally done, and he made me go stand in front of the closet.....with my hands on my head and my legs spread....FACING YOU....I just wanted to DIE. I'm sorry I was boned....I know you saw it...saw me without my pants and hard and stiff.....I don't know why but when he paddles me like that it sometimes just happens. It happens to my brother too, so it doesnt mean nothing. Still, standing there, with my ass hurting like it was and knowing you were only a few feet away, just behind the door and looking through the louvers, staring I'm sure, I was so ashamed I can't tell you.
I know I was whimpering like a bad little boy, and the reason I was hopping up and down like a rabbit was cause my bottom hurt so bad. Funny, yeah, I know, I had the _d_a_m_n_ stiffy and I knew it was bouncing up and down and you were watchin....but my bottom was so red and was burning so much it just wasn't possible to just stand there and not move. I wanted so bad to rub it, but he makes you keep your hands on your head until he's done with you. I only dropped them once before to rub my bottom before he was done talking and it got me bent over his knee again so fast I'll never forget it.
My dad says that bad little boys need to stand when he lectures them, and so you stand, and while the tears flow and the snot drips out of your nose you have to listen to him until he's done doin' his talking. Anyway, yeah, thats why I had to just stand there with my hands on my head, hopping up and down and squirming so, because my ass was like on fire, just burning back there, and it stung so bad I just couldn't stand still. Anyway, I'm really sorry you saw me like that.
As bad as the spanking was the entire lecture afterwards was humiliating too....standing there; sucking up my snot and saying "YES SIR'"....."NO SIR"....."YES SIR"......answering his stupid questions while you, the best girl I've ever known watched and listened as my stiff dick bobbed up and down. I know I acted like a nerd....I know I wasn't cool and I cried like a baby. But you have to believe that _d_a_m_n_ paddle REALLY HURTS.....and if I didn't at least sound respectful and say "YES SIR" and apologize to him the way I did he would have just bent me back over his knee and started the entire paddling all over again. I only made that mistake once when I was fourteen and its not something I will ever do again.
Anyway, I can't describe how much it hurt but he swings it so fast and so hard and for so long that the tears just come out and there is no way to stop them. Still, I sure didn't want to cry but he would have kept it going until I did. I tried to fight back the tears as long as I could...and I was holding them back too until he spread my legs and worked that paddle into my crack. Like I said, he knows how to get to me, and he's an expert with it and when he paddles you he always does it until you're bawling like a baby. Always. He knows exactly where to hit you, and he doesnt let up or give you any slack. When he started on me there, smacking the flesh along my crack, well, he knew he had me; it's just so sensitive, you have no idea.
Anyway, it was just way too much for me as you saw....and no matter how I bucked my hips after that it didn't make any difference. You know, when he was hitting me, and I was squirming and wiggling my bottom up and down the way I knew I was I didn't want to do it but I couldn't stop. I was trying to hold it still, but I just couldn't, and yet as I was bouncing it up and down I was aware of what it must look like to you and that just freaked me out.
I didn't do it on purpose I swear! Still, I knew I was bobbing my ass up and down, and knew you were watching it too, but I couldn't stop cause my entire ass was so hot and well, when he's swinging the paddle the way he was swinging it you don't have a lot of choice in how you react. No you don't. He just paints your bottom red with that paddle, and it hurts like _s_h_i_t_ it does it does. No, you just HAVE to move it and jerk it to try and dodge the blows any way you can. Yeah, I know, it doesnt work, but it's impossible to just lay there; just no way to sit there and take em one after the other without squirming or jerking or doing SOMETHING. I can't describe it really, not the intensity of it. Yeah, it's like your entire ass is being set on fire, a fire that burns across your rear like a nuclear furnace, hotter and hotter and hotter with each swing of that board.
Please don't tell anyone. PLEASE! I'm begging you....cause I know that you could and I know that you might want to. I'll be OK...and I'll get over it. I'm grounded for a month...so except for school I'm not gonna be able to call or write or use the computer or do much of anything. I have to take the stupid bus now too....my car is parked UNTIL FOREVER he said....so I don't know when I'll get to drive again. I also can't make the dance now....I know...I promised too, but I can't and there is no way for me to sneak out to it. Not after this....my bottom is just way too red and way too sore and my dad has had it with me. You heard him promise that next time he will make it a lot worse, and give me twice as many, and well, frankly, my ass can't take it again.
Yeah, cutting school was way stupid. Now I've got to bring up the grades too, and when he said he'd burn my ass for anything less than a "C" he wasnt kidding. He's never said THAT before, but _s_h_i_t_....I've never cut school before and he is really pissed and now that he said it he won't forget. So, I'm gonna have to be catchin up, cause I'm not sure about the Science grade and American History isn't going too well either. Needless to say, I'm going to be busy.
You heard his lecture, or at least the first one. After he left and went downstairs, I don't blame you for splitting so fast. Hell, I would have run too if I could. Anyway, he lectured me again just before bed, after he drilled the new holes in my paddle. I hate the lectures, but I didn't say a word and I had to listen to him all over again. Same _s_h_i_t_ you heard, but more and I had to apologize to him all over again. He was still pissed, but not at the same level. Still, what he said he meant. Yeah, he wasn't kidding about any of it, and I know that if I screw up again he will do what he says. So, I'm through messin around.....Im just going to be good from now on...do what they want me to do in school and behave myself by following the rules at home. I hope you still like me.....I mean it too.
If you don't...well, I understand. I mean, who would? Who wants to date a crybaby? All I can ask is for you to keep my secret....when I think of you staring at my boner and seeing my red ass I am so ashamed I don't know what to do. PLEASE! I hope we can stay friends, but it's probably too much to hope for. God. It's a nightmare....it is! I'm really sorry! Well....I gotta go...before he checks up on me and catches me on the computer. See you Monday?
Sean
[Authors note: © Copyright January, 2003. All rights reserved. Not to be copied without the consent of the author.]