Treated As a Young Boy


by Neil Benson <Neil_Benson1958@yahoo.com>

I have recently begun therapy to get over what happened in my childhood and I have been writing about it. Much my problems were due to the fact my parents treated me like I wasnt growing up through my teens. To them I was still a 5 year old and that included spanking. They say the past is another country and that is certainly true, Im writing about my history not now.

I had a very happy childhood till the age of 11-12. My mother ran a large nursery school in the small village and this served a large rural population and my father worked for the church. They were good god fearing people with a love of children but very nave of the ways of the world, almost Victorian in their attitudes. Also, unfortunately they did not have a love of teenagers.

I had always been spanked as punishment, on my bare bottom. But as I grew up I wanted it to stop but my parents saw no reason to do so. The shame and embarrassment of bearing my bottom and genitals became worse and worse but my Father didnt think my views were of any importance. All boys were spanked when I was growing up but not in the same way as me. A naked man would have been terrible to them but a naked little boy, well to them I was and remained a child and that was how I was treated till I left at the age of 24 (I am ashamed to say I was spanked on my bare bottom till that age although the last time I remember being spanked in front of anyone other than family was when I was about 17). My Mother and Father were used to having children do as they said and that is what they expected from me.

As I grew up I wanted more adult clothes this was in the 60s when kids clothes really did look different and when my friends were having their first pair of jeans I was still in short trousers (blue canvas in the summer, grey in winter I remember) and elasticised waist, beige short socks or grey long ones and sandal shoes (I have photos of me wearing this aged 15!). In the summer when it was hot I often was told to go without my underpants and wear just my shorts By the time I was 13 I felt very vulnerable as the legs were short and wide and I was developed down below . It sounds funny but it wasnt, it was humiliating. I was bought up in a rural area and was very much the figure of fun with the other boys. I was teased mercilessly for my childrens clothes and my shyness. My father and mother were respected and I doubt any grown up thought it was odd but I hated the childish clothes.

I am rather puny but still reached maturity at the normal time, so if I was bared for a spanking it was very obvious that I was a teenager. I had red fair hair and no hair on my body except round my penis.

I cant remember when it happened but my Father was obsessed with the dangers of masturbation. He called this abusing the soul and he gave me a few frightening talks about what would happen should I play with myself. In the end my mother made me some mittens in thin cotton and these were tied on me every night. My Father had had the same treatment when he was growing up and I have seen pictures in Victorian books of similar mittens. Of course I still got regular erections but couldnt do anything about this. The result of this was that I had wet dreams and often unwanted erections. And when I say unwanted that what I mean.... when my father spanked me, naked from the waist down I would often get a partial erection, this was not _s_e_x_ual just a result of my exposure. This added to the terrible shame of the situation. Nothing was ever said (which made it even worse) but I was very aware that everyone was looking at me, excited and with no control over my exposure of my excited state. My Father would just look on stern faced as would other grown-ups who sometimes witnessed the punishments. If my cousins or others of my age where there they would smirk and couldnt believe their eyes. My upbringing made me think that _s_e_x_ was dirty and should be avoided at all costs.

I have many shameful punishments during my teen years but one sticks in my mind. I was about 14 and had been sulking and my mother said that I must spend the afternoon at her nursery school if I was going to be childish. This was a common punishment as the school holidays and the nursery holidays were different. I was never treated any different to my Mothers charges at the Nursery School even though I was much much older.

However this time rather than being made to sit in my mothers class Mr Taylor the caretaker was put in charge of me and he had clearly been given instructions. At first I helped sweep leaves, then other chores. I cant remember what I did but he became annoyed and said that we should go to the boys toilet. When we were there he told me to stand in the middle of the large room. The nursery was converted from part of an old childrens home and there were a long line of low urinals on one side, many basins down the middle and a row of about 12 childrens sized toilets with no partitions or anything. He told me that he wouldnt put up with any nonsense from me and then came over and pulled down my shorts and underpants right down to my ankles. I began fidgeting and covered myself but he pushed me over to the side of the room and made me to sit on one of the childrens toilets, he slapped each top of the leg until I was squatting. My genitals were exposed and the fact I was sitting on the toilet made it worse. After that some boys of about 4 years old came in to collect their coats it was home time. Mr Taylor went to the door and told the teacher he had me there and he would supervise the boys. I heard the teacher laugh. Anyway gradually more and more boys came in. They didnt hide that they were looking at me in fact they were almost encouraged to look at the big naughty boy as Mr Taylor called me. Then Mr Taylors son, David, came in carrying a mop and bucket. He was about 16 and helped with chores. His brother, Simon, was the year below me at school. I dont know why but with everyone looking at me naked I became excited. I can still remember the feeling of shame, fear, dread and deep humiliation as my penis rose. David started laughing and pointing out to his Dad and I just sat there knowing I couldnt move. He told his dad that my knob was sticking up and Mr Taylor came over and they both looked. Mr Taylor told me I was a filthy, dirty boy to let that happen I felt like an exhibit at the zoo as I ! squatted on this small child size toilet in front of everyone. Finally Mr Taylor pulled me off the toilet, dragged me across the room to a chair by the sinks and arranged me over his knees. He was laughing as I shuffled across, saying the toilet seat had left a target for him. He spanked me hard, much harder than my Father did. My penis was still part rigid and bouncing around in full view of everyone and the spanking seemed to go on for ever until I was in tears. I was then put on my feet and told to wait in the middle of the room (still crying and with my pants and shorts down) until my Father came to collect me. David told me what a baby I was and how he was going to tell everyone how he had seen my knob standing up whilst his Dad had spanked my bum in front of him, I began to cry even more at the though of how dreadful this was. I begged Mr Taylor through my tears to let me pull my pants up but he said that naughty kindergarten boys had to stand like that so there was no reason to save my blushes. Of course I was 10 years older than them! I also knew that the naughty boys in the nursery school had their trousers and pants taken from them completely and were made to walk around with nothing on below till they behaved. In the back of my mind I was dreading that this might happen to me. I could hear parents collecting their children and I imagined being exposed and the figure of fun in front of them all.

A little later, after the children had gone home I was still standing there as Mr Taylor told my Mother and Father and the two female teachers who had come in with my Mother, about the punishment in detail (except for my erection).My Father was very pleased and gave him 5 shillings which was a lot of money in those days. He told Mr Taylor that if he saw me misbehaving he could spank me again just like one of the kindergarten boys which I dreaded as an idea. I remember feeling totally humbled and ashamed. Finally my Father told me to pull my pants and shorts up to cover myself and I left for home.

I have tried to write about this truthfully but its my first time. If you have any positive comments, or had a similar experience please email me at neil_benson1958@yahoo. com


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