I had been holidaying in Australia and I cut my stay short by a few days in order to visit Zemdula, a remote archipelago of five small islands in the Pacific Ocean. It was not an easy journey, involving island hopping on several light aircraft and the final two hundred miles on a ferry. Few people have ever heard of the place, let alone visited it!
I had a good reason to go there. An old school friend of mine, Edward Jackson, having served in the Royal Navy for twenty-five years, and reaching the rank of lieutenant, had retired from the service with a pension at the comparatively young age of forty-two. He had spotted an advertisement in a London newspaper advertising for an experienced naval officer for the post of Commanding Officer of The Zemdula Navel Cadet Academy. He applied for, and got, the post. Further more, he had been given the rank of captain, presumably because it sounded more suitable for a commanding officer!
I was rather puzzled by all of this. Whatever sort of a navy had a small country of half a million people got? And why did it need one at all? However, all would soon be revealed. I had tried to find out as much as I could about the tiny state. The islands were uninhabited when they were discoverd in the eighteenth century and had been populated first by the British followed later by an influx from other European countries, mainly Germany, Scandinavia, France and Holland. It had gained independence from the UK after the Second World War. The language is English.
Ted, as I know my friend, met me at the dock side, and after the usual warm exchanges of old friends who had not met for two years we were driven to the academy in a staff car by a senior navel rating. I was amazed by the size of the place and the number of personnel about. Ted took me to his opulent quarters in the Captain`s Block where I had been allocated a room. We settled down in his living room.
"Just how large a navy has Zemdula got?" I had to ask.
Ted laughed. "I thought you would ask that question! In fact we`ve got five fishery protectiuon vessels! I had better put you in the picture. It`s doubtful whether any of the boys here will end up in our small navy. Zemdula has been getting the same sort of troubles as you are getting back home with youngsters; vandalism, graffiti, rowdyism and troublemakers in the schools who get suspended or expelled until there are no schools left which will take them. And like Europe in general, all the old fasioned disciplinary methods have been abolished. Then one of our politcians got a bright idea! Why not put these misfits in the navy as cadets and subject them to military discipline! So what we have here is a glorified school! They still get lessions. We have teachers here who have all been given navel officers ranks and now they can keep the boys under control. In addition to theit tutoring the boys get all the military training - parades, square bashing - the lot!"
"It`s beginning to make sense!" I said, "When did this start?"
"About five years ago. My predecessor, also an ex-RN officer retired last year when I took over. He did a good job, but I have made one big improvement. Like most of the western world, Zemdula has abolished corporal punishment. When I arrived I went carefully through all the naval rules and laws and made a discovery. When the government abolished corporal punishment they forgot to abolish it in the navy - or in reality they hadn`t forgotten, they didn`t know that it existed! Apparently nobody remembers it ever being used although is was on the navel statute book. But it`s being used now, but only here at the academy.
"But won`t they just bring in an amendment to abolish it here?" I asked.
"No, because it`s working so well! They regret ever abolishing it in schools now. They intend to leave well alone because I`m getting results."
I suddenly felt envious! Back in our school day Ted and I had a "thing" about spanking! We used to think it hilarious when somebody was going to be spanked or slippered on the bum, even if it was one of our best friends! Providing, that is, we were not the victims! Fascinated, I continued to question Ted about the set up. There were about a hundred and fifty boys at the academy, their ages ranging from thirteen to sixteen years old. They would be sent here for a year and then sent back to an ordinary school if they had been of good behavour, and if they had not they stayed on at the academy. Most of them had learnt to behave themselves after a year! The academy is not a prison or a reform school. The boys were free to go out in their own time, but only in uniform. Civilian clothes were not allowed except during the holidays, which, of course, were refered to as "leave." The climate is tropical; so the boy`s uniforms are light and simple, - a white sailor suit top with the almost universal stripes around the collar and neatly pressed white shorts. The typical navel type hat only had to be warn when they were off the base.
As Commanding Officer Ted had his own catering staff and that night I was wined and dined in his private quarters. The next morning, Tuesday, I was photographed and had the picture put on a credit card size pass which I would need to get in and out of the main gate. Ted was, of course, on duty and apologised to me for leaving me to my own devices that day, promising me that he would have a free day on Wednesday to take me on a tour of the five islands. He asked me to be back by four o`clock that afternoon and come to his office. He did not say why. I caught a bus into town and returned to Ted`s office right on time.
"I asked you to be back early because I thought you would be interested to see how we deal with offenders!" said Ted.
I told him that I certainly would. I presumed he was refering to some sort of corporal punishment. He opened a drawer and took out a long cane and a metre long plastic ruler.
"These are the two instruments I use," he said, "this," holding up the cane, "is for serious offences, and this," holding up the ruler, "is for minor offences."
"When will you be using them them?" I asked.
"Defaulters report here at four-thirty. We have three today. Two for starting a fight in town yesterday and one for a prank in his classroom this morning."
Ted went on to explain that the cane was administered over their shorts but the ruler was always used on the bare buttocks. I asked him whether the ruler really hurt very much. He handed iut to me.
"Just try it on your hand!" he said
I held the ruler in my right hand and gave it a flick onto my left palm. It made me wave my hand about!
"You see!" he went on, "It`s got quite a sting! The difference is that the effect is short lived, whereas the cane ensures that they are not sitting down the next day!"
Ted put an arm chair for me in a position where I would get a good view of the proceedings. He then put a chair about six feet in front of his desk and placed a padded footstool, which was about seven or eight inches high, beside the chair. Promptly at four-thirty there was a knock on the door. It was the bosun from the outer office.
"Defaulters all present and correct sir!" he said.
"Send in cadets Banks and Smidt first, please bosun"
The bosun looked back through the door. "Cadets Banks and Smidt! Line up one behind the other.......Aten.....shun! By the left quick march! Left right left right left right left right left. Mark time!"
The two boys were lifting their legs up high in true military mark time fashion. I thought how appropriate the expression was; It was time to mark their bottoms!
"Defaulters......Halt! Smidt, two paces left....move! Two paces forward.... move!"
The two boys were now side by side standing ridgedly to attention. Ted looked at the charge sheets on his desk.
"Cadets Banks and Smidt, both aged sixteen." he read out. "You are charged with causing an unprovoked fight in a cafe in the town. You were arrested by the police and brought back here in a police car. The police say that they will not press charges providing you are adequately dealt with here! Have you anything to say in mitigation?"
"No sir!" they replied in unison.
"Such behavour will not be tolerated! If you cannot behave yourselves in town I think it would be as well if I kept you away from it for a while. Twenty-eight days confined to barracks and six strokes of the cane!" announced Ted. "Bosun, check that they are wearing nothing under their shorts!"
The bosun thrust his hand inside the seat of the shorts of each boy in turn. Neither of them so much as flinched as his hand touched their bottoms! They knew that they must keep stiffly to attention!
"Take one of them to the outer office for the time being, bosun."
"Aye aye sir. Cadet Smidt. About turn. By the left quick march!"
The cadet was marched smartly through the door into the outer office to await his turn to be dealt with.
"Put the defaulter in the punishment position, bosun."
"Cadet Banks! Turn to the right.....right turn!"
Banks was now facing the footstool. "Kneel on the stool!......Bend over the chair, elbows on the floor!" ordered the bosun.
The cadet`s bottom, with his shorts stretched thightly around it, was now sticking up high ready for punishment. Ted got up from his desk, and with the cane in his hand, moved to a position just behind the boy.
Swish! Crack!
I winced as I saw a momentary depression where the cane had landed. How that must be stinging, I thought to myself!
Swish! Crack!
Banks was squirming and I heard him catch his breath as the second stroke landed.
Swish! Crack!
"Aowl! Oh! My God!" the boy blurted out.
Swish! Crack!
"Arrrrrrr. _f_u_c_k_ing hell!"
"Enough of that language, Banks, unless you want some extra strokes!" shouted Ted.
Swish! Crack!
"Aowl! Aowl! Aowl!"
"Get up!" ordered the bosun.
The cadet clawed up and clapsed his hands on his burning backside. He arcked his back and flung his head back, his face screwed up in agony, but he wasn`t crying. I thought he had taken it rather well.
"Take him away bosun." said Ted.
The end of a thrashing is the one time military formalities are overlooked. Nobody could be expected to stand to attention or march smartly after a wacking like that! The bosun got hold of him by the arm and escorted him out of the office. I wondered what could be going through cadet Smidt`s mind when he saw Banks being brought out in such excruciating agony!
"Cadet Smidt! Aten.....shun!"
Once again Smidt had to go through the "left right left mark time" routine! I could see the look of fear on his face. He was ordered onto the stool and across the chair just as Banks had been. I got the impression that he was not going to take it as well as Banks had; and I was correct.
Swish! Crack!
His whole body lifted up and then fell back onto the chair as the cane landed squarely across the crowns of both cheeks. He let out a loud gasp of pain!
Swish! Crack!
"Arrrrrrrr!"
His whole body seemed to be vibrating and pulsating.
Swish! Crack!
"Arrrrrrr! Arrrrrr! Arrrrrrr!"
He was pushing up on his elbows in an attempt to get up.
"Hold him down, bosun!" called out Ted.
The bosun put his arms across the cadet`s back and held him firmly onto the chair.
"Swish! Crack!
He was unashamedly crying now and still had two strokes to come!
Swish! Crack!
"Aowl! Aowl! Aowl!"
He struggled and twisted one way and then the other, but he was being firmly held down by the bosun.
Swish! Crack!
"Aowl! Aowl! Aowl! Aowl! Aowl!"
The bosun released him. He shot up and just as banks had done he clutched his bum-cheeks with both hands. Tears were pouring down his face.
"Not such a tough guy after all, are we Smidt?" said Ted, "See him out, bosun." Then he added - " Don`t send in the last defaulter for a moment. I`ll give you a call on the intercom when I`m ready."
"Aye aye sir."
Ted turned to me. "The last one is a minor offender, Sid. I wondered if you would like to try your hand at wielding the ruler!"
I felt my already erect organ give a twitch! "Er. Me? I mean am I allowed....."
"The boy dosen`t know who you are, and he`s certainly not going to ask! As for the bosun, I often let him have a go to keep him happy so he`s not going to say anything!"
"Well ok! Thanks Ted!" I replied.
Ted pressed the intercom button. "Send in the last defaulter please bosun."
The door opened. "Cadet Johnsson! Aten.....shun. By the left quick march. Left right left right......." Again we went through the military rigmarole until the cadet was standing to attention before the desk. So this one was mine! A younger boy than the previous two, a handsome looking lad with a pale complexion, blue eyes and fair hair. I guessed that he probably had a fair amount of scandinavian blood in his veins. Ted picked up the charge sheet.
"Cadet Johnsson, aged fourteen." Ted read out. "You are charged with propelling a misile, namely a piece of screwed up newspaper soaked in ink, with an elastic band used as a catapult. It hit the tunic of another cadet. Is this correct?"
"Yes sir!"
"Presumably the intention was to soil the other cadet`s uniform to get him into trouble?"
"Er. No sir!"
"Well the reason is immaterial. At fourteen I would have thought that you were past childish pranks like this. On the other hand if you were I suppose you wouldn`t have been sent to the academy in the first place! Six strokes of the ruler! Prepare the defaulter bosun!"
"Turn to the right.....right turn! Removing shorts, shorts.......down!"
The boy had obviously been trained at some time or other what he had to do upon this order. On the command "down" his hands shot to the side of his shorts and in a flash they were round his ankles and he had sprung back to attention!
"Kneel on the stool!......Bend over the chair, elbows on the floor!"
I felt a chill run down my spine as I looked at that pert young bare bottom. It could not have been more inviting if it had had "please spank me!" painted on it!
"Mr. Williams will administer the punishment, bosun."
The bosun didn`t turn a hair. "Aye aye sir!"
Ted handed me the ruler. I just hoped neither of them noticed a certain part of my anatomy which felt as if it was going to burst through my trousers at any moment! I lifted the ruler up high and brought it crashing down on the cadet`s backside!
Swish! Crack!
The boy shuddered. A pink strip about an inch and a half wide emerged across the centre of both bum-cheeks. I aimed for the same spot.
Swish! Crack!
I noticed his body go taut. It was obviously hurting but he had not so far uttered a sound.
Swish! Crack!
This time there was a slight gasp, but he was taking it well, I thought. I was glad that he was. If he had been screaming his head off I don`t think that I could have carried on!
Swish! Crack!
There was another gasp. He was trying to lift his bottom up higher. I guessed why. He was trying to get the ruler to land in a different place. I wasn`t letting him get away with that! I made sure that the fifth stroke landed in the same place.
Swish! Crack!
Now he let out a single "Aooowl!"
Swish! Crack!
"Aooowl! Aooowl! Aooowl"
It seemed over all too quickly. Johnnson was ordered to stand up. There was now the usual clasping of hands to bum-cheeks! I admired the way he had taken it; he was obviously in some pain. His shorts back on, he was taken to the door by the bosun. He had just got through he doorway when he could hold it back no longer! He burst into tears!
"You did a good job there, Sid!" said Ted.
"Thanks! I wanted to! This was probably a once in a lifetime experience!"
"Have you any more holiday to come this year?" asked Ted.
"Yes, I have another three weeks in September. Why?"
"Well why not come back here? There would be more opportunity to - how shall I put it? -participate in the academy`s activities!"
"I would love to! Thanks Ted!"
Thursday arrived. My short stay was over. Ted saw me off on the ferry. I stood on the deck at the stern and a feeling of sadness came over me as I watched the Group of islands disappear over the horizon.
"Cheer up Sid Williams!" I said to myself, You`re coming back in September! Why not find the bar and buy yourself a nice stiff double brandy!"
As I sat in the bar I began to relive the events of that Tuesday afternoon. The double brandy wasn`t the only thing which was stiff!