Destiny Calling:
Part two:
A Sam and Colin Story.
Lavish promises to be the model lodger amounted to a peck of dirt where Sam was concerned. He just couldnt seem to help himself.
As I drove home from work one evening I mulled over a conversation Id had with Jon the previous night. Id gone to his house in a desperate effort to obtain a few hours respite from Sam who, having turned the central heating up to maximum, was wandering around the house clad in nothing but a blue cotton sarong, singing the score from South Pacific. If Id had to listen to him singing, I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Outa My Hair, one more time, I would have gone mad, as well as dying from heat stroke!
"Whats the real problem," asked Jon, after pouring me a cooling drink and putting on some soothing music, "why are you holding back? You like Sam, God knows why, but you do. Hell, lets face it, you more than like him. What are you afraid of Colin?" Hed gazed at me steadily, "emotional commitment? Or is it something else, something to do with Suzy?"
Id shrugged, "I just dont think Im up to handling a relationship with someone like Sam."
"Why? Because you somehow feel guilty about Suzys death? Theres no need, it wasnt your fault Colin, it was no ones fault."
Id sat silently for a while. "I failed her Jon, we all did, none of us knew how to handle her, when to say no, or how to judge when she was genuinely ill, and beyond controlling herself, or when she was just pushing buttons for the sheer hell of it."
Jon smiled, "Suze certainly enjoyed pushing buttons from time to time, she had a warped sense of humour. The main trouble was that you all over indulged her. Her condition not only ruled her life, it ruled all your lives. It doesnt have to be like that with Sam."
" But what if I fail him?"
"Youre failing him now," Jon was nothing if not blunt, "youre already letting him control your life in a negative way. Its not good for you, and it isnt good for him. Incidentally, when it comes to button pushing, hes an expert and he does it far more consciously than Suzy ever did. Either say yes, you want him, and all that entails, or make sure he finds another place to live as soon as possible. From where Im standing youre both hankering after one another. This state of emotional limbo isnt fair on either one of you, but least of all on Sam!"
Jon was right, I had to make a decision. As I parked the car, I pictured Sams smile and my stomach gave its usual gymnastic response. A sudden wave of affection, mixed with an undercurrent of excitement, swept over me as I inserted my key in the lock and stepped into the hall. "Sam," I called, then stopped and sniffed curiously, there was a smell of...
"Colin, darling, come in here and see what a wonderful surprise Ive got for you!"
I stared dumbfounded at my sitting room, which when Id left for work early that morning had been decorated in restful tones of rose and cream, but no longer. I swallowed and closed my eyes tightly, but when I opened them again the nightmare persisted. Affection and excitement withered and died to be replaced with simmering hatred and a pathological desire to tear him limb from limb!
"Well darling, as you can see, Ive been a very busy boy today. What do you think?" Sam, spattered with paint particles and looking very pleased with himself, gazed at me brightly, but not as brightly as the walls of my sitting room which were now garbed in vomit inducing shades of orange and mauve.
What did I think?
I was beyond thinking, my mind had gone into shock and was struggling on the edge of migraine. I stared mesmerised at the vibrant walls, then something, some small spark of recognition caused my mouth to open and ask, "where did you get the paint from, I thought you were broke?"
Sam beamed, "I found it sweetheart, wasnt that lucky?"
Not from where I was standing it wasnt. I persisted, "what do you mean, you found it, you dont just find cans of paint."
"I did darling, honestly, they were just sitting on the pavement in Grange Road, totally abandoned. It would have been cruel to leave them there, all forlorn and homeless, yearning for walls to be spread across."
Memory suddenly surfaced and I knew where Id seen those horrific colours before. I glared furiously at him. "You stole it! I cant believe it, youve painted my sitting room with stolen paint! Thats the stuff the council are using to paint the tenement flats on Grange road, I recognise the insulting colours. For heavens sake Sam!"
"But darling," he smiled sweetly, totally unrepentant as I remonstrated with him, "I thought no one wanted them, and lets face it duckylove, your dreary sitting room desperately needed an update. It was like sitting in a vasectomy clinics waiting room, ball achingly depressing."
From between gritted teeth, I managed to snarl. "I want my old colour scheme back, at your expense, and if it isnt back by tomorrow night then Im going to evict you, thats if I dont give in to the temptation to kill you, very slowly and painfully!" Even as I snarled, I could feel my arteries clogging up with stress. Having Sam as a house guest was taking its toll on me. "And whats more, youll send an anonymous postal order covering the cost of that paint to the council offices, is that clear?"
"Youre so middle of the road Colin darling," he pouted, "its a wonder you havent been hit by a truck or had white lines painted up your back. I just wanted to brighten things up for you, and do I get a single word of appreciation? Do I Fanny Craddock! I bet Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen never had this trouble when he was Changing Rooms."
"Change this particular room back to the way it was Sam, or I mean it, youre history!" I began to un-knot my tie, "Im going for a shower. If you want something to eat youll have to get it yourself, Im going out this evening."
"Out?" The pout grew more pronounced, "Ive rented some new videos, I thought we could watch them together. Ive bought wine too."
I shook my head, "Tonight is my sisters birthday party, you knew that Sam."
"Can I come with you?"
"No." I shook my head firmly.
"Why not?"
"Because youre not invited."
"Surely youre allowed to take a guest?"
"Oh yes, on the proviso that it isnt you. My sister loathes you, shed rather have dry rot than you in her house again!"
"Charming Im sure," Sam scowled. "I dont know why you want to go to her dreary party anyway, itll be dreadfully boring, especially if Im not there!"
"Good," I raked my eyes around my violated sitting room, "I can live with boring, at least its restful."
"I could wear my sparkly tiara," he gazed at me appealingly, "it would add a touch of glamour to the proceedings. God knows your sister doesnt know the meaning of the word. Darling, her clothes would get rejected by Oxfam. Poor dear, she could frump for the Commonwealth."
"Youre not coming Sam and thats that. Try to eat something healthy, and wash up for a change. Ill see you later, much later." I needed a break from my lodger, I was seriously considering putting up a tent in the garden and moving into it.
"So," he sulkily folded his arms. "Youre really going to go out and enjoy yourself, leaving me here, all on my lonesome, even though Ive spent all day slaving away and making the house beautiful for you?"
"Oh yes," I nodded vigorously as I headed for the stairs, "especially because of that."
Leaning against my car, arms folded, I watched him happily vault the garden gate and all but skip up the path. Inserting his key in the lock, he then looked back over his shoulder, shouting. "Come on Colin, dont linger out here. I think theres going to be a storm soon. You dont want to get all rain bedraggled, do you darling. You put the video on, and Ill open the wine, well have fun. Im sure your sister WILL speak to you again, someday."
Opening the gate I walked more sedately up the path. What a change in his mood. He was as happy as a lamb now hed got his own way, and caused me to leave the party hed resented me going to in the first place.
As wed driven home, Sam had chatted and hummed, absolutely pleased with himself and totally unconcerned at the embarrassment hed caused. I shuddered at the memory of him sauntering over to an old friend of the family, Father Stuart, a Catholic priest. Draping a seductive arm around his shoulder, hed leered in his face and said loudly, "tell me Father, or may I call you daddy, are you married?"
Flushing deeply and nervously plucking at his clerical collar, poor Stuart had replied, "only to God and the Church."
Sam, giving one of his shattering shrieks, had bellowed, "Gods GAY then? FANCY that... so am I! Darling thats quite some coup, getting off with God. Whats he like in the bedroom department?"
At that point Anne, my sister, already traumatised by Sams antics with a bowl of stuffed olives in front of her strait laced mother in law, fainted. I made a round of apologies, left poor Anne being tended to by my parents and furiously bundled Sam into the car.
Six weeks, six long weeks this monster, this demon had now lived in my house and it was killing me. Tonight, gate crashing, and spoiling my sisters birthday party was the last straw. Sam had to go, in one sense anyway.
I glanced up at the lowering firmament which was slowly deepening to black. Sam was right about one thing, there was going to be a storm.
I walked into the house, locked and bolted the door, and hung up my jacket, picking Sams up from the floor where, as per normal hed dropped it.
He was in the kitchen, foraging in the fridge. I marched across and took the block of cheese out of his hands, noting with disgust the teeth marks hed nibbled into it. He really had some filthy habits! "I wish youd cut the _d_a_m_n_ cheese properly Sam, instead of just biting chunks out of it like some upright rodent!"
Ignoring his protests that he was hungry, I put the molested cheese back on the shelf and, leaving the fridge open, grabbed his hand, pulling him across the room with me.
"You love being in the spotlight dont you Sam, centre stage, the object of all attention?" I flicked the light switch off. The only light now illuminating the storm dark kitchen, came from the interior of the fridge. Keeping hold of his hand, I pulled out a chair and placed it a little way back from the fridge, so it was in a kind of inverted V of light.
"What are you doing Colin dearest," he sounded slightly perplexed, "trying to save on the electricity?"
"Im putting you in the spotlight Sam, just where you like to be."
"Oooh, I get it," he giggled. "You kinky thing, you want me to do a Liza Minneli and copy that chair scene from Cabaret! Well of course, I do have the legs for it, if not the fish net stockings! Perhaps we can purchase a pair from the Ann Summers brochure? Im game if you are sweetie! Have you got a bowler hat handy?"
"You just dont get it do you Sam?" I sat down on the chair, "Im going to give you my full attention, thats what you want isnt it, my absolute undivided attention? Well youve finally got it, but I dont think youre going to like it overly much!" He let out a gasp as I yanked him sharply forwards and down across my knees.
"Colin DARLING," he gave a squeal. "I didnt know you were into this kind of scene. You ARE full of surprises, you naughty, naughty man you! Well, if its what turns you on, so be it. Im just glad youve finally succumbed to my charms. I was beginning to think youd gone straight, or religious."
I was suddenly furious, absolutely sick of his goading mockery. Raising my hand as high as I could, I brought it down hard on the centre of his bottom.
He let out another screech, of surprise this time. "Bloody hell Colin," he yelled, "that really hurt. If this is your idea of foreplay, I shudder to think what the grand finale will be like! Try to think of me as a rare and beautiful flower, then act accordingly. You wouldnt clog dance on an orchid would you darling?"
Grasping him more firmly around the waist, I gave into the urge Id had for weeks, the urge to put him over my knee and give him a bloody good spanking. "You just dont know when to stop do you Sam? Youre a manipulative, cunning brat, always pushing and provoking, needling and mocking people to get a reaction to feed from. Youre driving me up the wall!"
He shrieked like a banshee as I smacked his bottom over and over again, but I knew it was mainly theatricals. He still thought we were playing a game. Any illusions he had about this being _s_e_x_ual foreplay would soon be dispelled. Heaving him to his feet, I said sharply, "unfasten your trousers."
Face flushed, hair dishevelled, he rubbed his backside and glared at me. "Its all or nothing with you Colin darling isnt it? Ive been batting my eyelashes at you for weeks and not so much as a surreptitious grope, or a quick snog, but the minute you decide youre finally in the mood, its wham bam gerrem off Sam! Can we at least go up to bed for stage two?"
Grabbing his hips I pulled him towards me and began unbuttoning him. Pulling his trousers down to his knees I then pulled him back over my lap.
"Oh God Col," he gasped as the breath was knocked slightly out of him when his midriff impacted with my thighs. "I thought wed finished with this bit. I have to say it isnt doing anything for me darling, not a thing...OW YOU SOD! I dont want to play this game any more, I dont like it, I dont want to play!"
"Good," I flipped up his shirt away from the target area, "because it isnt a game."
A series of fast sharp slaps delivered to the seat of his briefs set him hollering in earnest. He had another shock to come. I was going for the full Monty. Lifting him slightly, I inserted my fingers in the waistband of his briefs and whisked them down. His bottom, the cute little bottom that hed been wiggling under my nose, at every opportunity for weeks, was rosy pink in the cool light of the fridge, but not for much longer. I had every intention of deepening it to a nice deep shade of scarlet.
My hand made a satisfying noise as it contacted his bare bottom with all the force I could muster. He went rigid as the pain from the smack made itself felt, then kicked frantically as my intentions became all too horribly clear, trying desperately to wriggle off my lap. Leaning slightly to the left I used my weight to anchor him more firmly as he struggled and squirmed.
"NO! Colin, you bullying swine, it hurts, I dont like...OW..._f_u_c_k_...AAGGHH!"
A note of truth crept into his cries and yells this time. I was finally getting through to him that this was no game. His trousers and briefs were pooled about his ankles, his shoes preventing them falling off altogether, which at least helped reduce some of his ability to kick, but his right hand was flailing about, trying desperately to stop my right hand spanking any more heat into his backside. "You deserve this spanking mister, youve earned it a hundred times over, and nothing is going to get in the way of me giving it to you." I grasped the hand and held it safely behind his back, then I continued in my quest to sort out Sam. "Youve upset my sister, my parents, ruined my sitting room, insulted and alienated most of my friends and neighbours, and spoiled my bathtub by roller skating in it, and Ive had ENOUGH!"
I took my time, concentrating on methodically applying my hand to every inch of his bottom. He gave way to tears, then sobs, but I carried on, turning his smooth, rounded cheeks a deep shade of red from hip to thigh. His struggles eventually gave way to the odd jerk and wriggle, more a reflex action from my hand contacting his bottom, than an act of resistance, and thats when I stopped. Rubbing my hand across his scalding backside, I said, "if were going to live together as partners then were going to live on my terms, because frankly yours are anarchic, and detrimental to yourself and everyone else!"
He stood on shaky legs, tears gushing down his hot face, his hands behind him frantically trying to rub the pain out of his smouldering buttocks. "Sorry," he gasped between sobs, tears dripping off his chin, "sorry about spoiling your sisters party. I didnt mean..."
I halted him there, "you did mean to Sam, you were determined to spoil it." I pulled up his underwear and trousers, refastening them about his waist. Plucking a tissue from the box on the table I gently mopped his eyes and nose. Then, resting my hands on his shoulders, I said sternly, "I want you to go straight up to bed!"
He stared at me, hands still kneading away at his behind, breath hitching. "I dont think I like you in this mood Colin. I have to say darling, youre absolutely no fun at all." Then a look came over his face, "partners?" His eyes widened as far as the tear swollen lids would allow, "you said we were partners."
Thats right," I folded my arms. "Partners to have and to hold, albeit without benefit of clergy, from this day forward, etc, but bearing in mind, that Im the senior partner in this particular firm, and all final decisions are mine to make, i. e. old fashioned as it might be, you my lad, will obey me. Is that understood and accepted?" I decided it was best to be totally blunt where Sam was concerned, it left him less room to manoeuvre and manipulate that way.
He gazed at me for a moment, then he flung himself forward, winding his arms around my neck he hugged me tightly. I took that as a yes.
My stomach did a double somersault. "Good." Wrapping my arms around him I kissed him, a long, satisfying kiss which he returned with interest. Aside from spanking him, this was one of the other things Id longed to do to him and it was sheer bliss. I felt light headed with pleasure. When we broke for air, I tenderly brushed his hair back from his eyes and said, "I believe Ive just sent you to bed, so why are you still standing here?"
"Colin?" he _c_o_c_k_ed his head on one side and looked at me in a perplexed kind of way, "I dont..."
"BED NOW!" I barked, making us both jump. "Unless," I pointed towards the fridge, "you want me to put on another performance for the yoghurts and eggs?" I couldnt afford to let my resolve slip in any way, he had to see that I was serious about being in charge.
He glared at me. "You do realise darling, that youve probably given me a fridge phobia, I could need counselling you know."
I lifted and gazed at my right palm in an interested sort of way, as if calculating possible uses for it.
He still held his ground. "But Colin darling, its not fair," he pouted and folded his arms defiantly, making no attempt to leave the room.
Fixing him with a stern look, I began to count, it just seemed the natural thing to do, "one...two..."
He all but ran from the kitchen, crashing up the stairs. I heard him throw open his bedroom door, then throw it shut again. I shook my head, that was Sam, dramatic to the last. There was a creak and a thud as he hurled himself full length on his bed, face down I suspected. Moving across to the fridge I stuck my hand inside it for a few moments, trying to cool it. Spanking was hard work and if the stinging in my palm was even half an indication of the stinging in his bottom, then I reckon Id probably done a good job.
There was a sudden burst of rebellious movement from upstairs and I moved quickly to the foot of the stairs, shouting, "I told you to go to bed Sam, am I going to have to come up there and deal with you again?"
"You can come up if you want darling, just dont bring that frigging fridge with you!"
"Sam, Im warning you."
"Okay, okay," he shouted back crossly. "Im getting ready for bed, I have to move around to do it, unless you expect me to stand in the one spot and mime the _f_u_c_k_ing actions like Marcel Marceau!"
"Watch that mouth mister!"
There was a thud that sounded suspiciously like a foot being stamped. "I havent got a mirror to hand, so how the _f_u_c_k_ can I watch my mouth?"
"Right!" I thundered up the stairs and he shrieked.
"Im getting ready, I am darling, I am!" Darting past me into the bathroom he hurriedly bolted it behind him.
I grinned, knocking on the door, "get on with it then. Youve got five minutes to finish in there and go to bed, if I hear a sound after that, youre in big, big trouble."
There were a few inaudible mutterings as I turned to descend the stairs, but three minutes later silence reigned.
I spent some time tidying the kitchen to a pre-Sam days standard, then, unable to face the colour scheme in the sitting room, I poured myself a glass of wine and sat at the kitchen table listening to enya, my idea of radical pop music. I had an awful lot to think about.
Much later, I switched on my bedroom light and found Sam, complete with his teddy bear, curled up fast asleep in my...our bed. Stomach performing pleasurable flip flops, I switched the light off again so as not to disturb him. Completing the necessary ablutions, I then climbed in beside him. Gently kissing his shoulder, I whispered, "I love you Sam."
"I know," murmured a sleepy voice, "about bloody time you acknowledged it darling, it took you long enough."
Turning over, he snuggled into my arms with a contented sigh. It all felt so natural. I lay still, staring into the darkness, revelling in his closeness, the feel of his fair head resting against my chest, the faintly musky scent of him, the silence.
"Any chance of a shag now darling?"
My romantic and peaceful interlude cracked like glass in a furnace. What had I let myself in for? Pressing my eyelids closed, I growled, "just go to sleep Sam."
"Youre not impotent, are you sweetheart? Only, they can work miracles these...yeowch."
He gave a little squeak as I swatted his still tender bottom. "Shut up Sam."
"I was only asking, its nothing to be ashamed of."
"Are you going to shut up and go to sleep, or am I going to have to open that fridge door again?"
"Okay, okay," he snuggled back against me, then murmured, "theres no need to go all fridge-it on me!"
I stifled my amusement, it was inappropriate. "Look Sam," I said seriously, "therell be plenty of times for _s_e_x_, but now is not one of them. Ive just disciplined you for a start. All I want you to do is go to sleep."
"Bummer, at this rate Im going to die a virgin, do you want that on your conscience darling, do you?"
"Virgin?" I couldnt keep the incredulity out of my voice.
"Yes," he sounded suddenly tearful, "Im all talk and no action sweetheart, hadnt you realised? For some reason, not many people seem to want to get to know me better. Ive had a few touch-ups, but no touch-downs, if you catch my drift darling." There was an anxious pause, then he said, "you do like me, dont you Colin, in that way I mean?"
"Youre beautiful," I said sincerely, "and Ill prove it, but not now." I kissed his head tenderly. "Go to sleep."
"Brute," he whispered, but he sounded content.
Giving his shoulder another gentle little kiss, I murmured, "goodnight darling."
He gave a soft giggle, whispering, "hey, thats my line."
Destiny? Oh boy! Fait-accompli more like. I cuddled him, my manic, mad, mischievous, enigmatic Sam. Life with him wouldnt be easy or comfortable that was for sure, but, in addition to being terrified, I was happy.