The upbringing of boys is one of the most difficult tasks that a parent will face. As boys grow older they become more and more disobedient unless proper upbringing occurs during their childhood. Strict corporal punishment is one of the most effective ways to ensure a firm upbringing of boys. Unlike girls which do not need to receive such punishment (they are brought up differently due to their environment and expectations placed upon them) boys are in firm need of a good through thrashing on a regular basis. The following is a description of my thoughts on how boys should be brought up and disciplined. It focuses on the upbringing of children and spanking techniques and rituals that I believe are the most effective. As the older boys get the more troublesome they become, thus I decided to focus on boys who are in their last year of high school i. e. 18 years old as they are the ones who can do the most damage whilst at the same time being able to receive more pain than younger boys. The examples that I give are based on my boys when they were 17 and 18 years old during our time in Singapore.
The way my kids have been brought up is different from the way most children were brought up. I have two boys who have been disciplined from a very early age. Due to my profession me, my wife and the kids moved to Singapore because of my business opportunities in that region. This is where we lived for 20 years before returning to New York. One of the first things I did was to ensure that I picked out the right school for my boys. The criteria had to be an excellent reputation for academic excellence and a famous reputation for strict and frequent use of corporal punishment. At my first meeting with the school authorities I made it clear that I do not want my boys to be spared the cane at any time. In fact I asked them to be extra strict with my kids when it came to punishing them, both in terms of sentencing them to a number of specific strokes as well as applying them with vigor and conviction. Furthermore I asked the school authorities to notify me when any of the boys was to be punished since that resulted in them receiving a punishment at home once they got back from school. Another difference in my boys upbringing was the fact that I always ensured that they were humble and thankful for anything that they received. Even though we were considered upper class I always wanted to maintain that the boys were still brought up to respect and appreciate people who were not so fortunate. Thus as Singapore is hot practically all year around one of the first things I did was to extremely limit their dress code. This meant that they were kept in shorts and barefoot throughout the entire year. If they wished to go out they may only wear flip flops and nothing else. Sneakers, sandals, shoes and socks were strictly forbidden with a punishment of 3 strokes of the cane applied to the bare buttocks for each item worn of forbidden clothing. Exceptions were made in the case of dinner parties, get togethers where a different form of attire was expected. All my boys had a curfew by which they were expected back home. ! ! This curfew was increasing as they got older.
In terms of advice, first of all one must deal with the offenses that a boy should be punished for. I believe that all offenses constitute the use of corporal punishment. This can range from making sure that the boy cleans his room properly to punishing him for getting into trouble at school. As soon as he learns that punishment will be handed out even for the slightest misdemeanors, his behavior will immediately change for the better. Strict and frequent use of corporal punishment has a way to put fear into the boys mind thus ensuring behavior of a higher caliber at all times as should be expected. The next aspect that must be addressed is what type of implement should be used. Being raised in America I was always exposed to the paddle however in my opinion the cane is a much better implement. First of all it stings more than a paddle without causing unnecessary bruising. Secondly it can be used depending on the degree of severity required. If the punishment is to be mild then it produces a terrible sting which does hardly any damage but produces a great deal of pain. If the punishment is to be more severe, the cane produces some wonderful red welts and blood blisters which will ensure that the boy is not comfortable sitting down for a long time. If the punishment is to be very severe, then a cane can easily be used to break the boys skin. Hitting the same area twice and breaking a blood blister is not unusual during severe punishment and in fact should be encouraged. The boy is there to suffer and must face whatever punishment you decide to inflict upon him. Thus the cane can be used in so many different ways whereas other implements require more effort to ensure proper control.
The third aspect refers to ritual. This is almost as important as the caning itself although nothing is as important as the actual pain felt by the boy. I believe a certain ritual is required when the boy is to be punished. When any one of my boys is about to receive a solid blistering from me, I always call him over to my study. I then discuss the matter with the boy. Upon reflection I inform him of the number of strokes he is going to suffer for his misdeed. I then tell him to come back in one hour ready for his punishment. This means that he has to be back within the hour totally naked in my study. As he returns I once again lecture him about his improper conduct and make sure that I rub it in with regards to how much pain he is going to feel. I inform him that he is to ask and thank me for each stroke received whilst maintaining the proper count. This is done by the boy saying
"May I please have the first stroke sir?"
Swish
Crack
"Thank you for the first stroke sir. May I please have the second stroke sir?"
I inform the boy that if he miscounts, waits too long to count, counts in an improper fashion or does not maintain the proper punishment position, that an extra 2 strokes will follow for each mistake in addition to the boy repeating the last stroke. Once that is concluded I tell the boy to go and fetch the cane from the cupboard. As he gives me the punishment implement I tell him to kiss the cane as a sign of proper respect. He does so and then I instruct the boy to hand me the implement and to assume the required punishment position. This means that if he is receiving 3 to 6 strokes then he is to spread his legs and bend down and touch his toes. During the caning he is to keep his legs straight at all times and keep touching his toes at all time or further strokes will be imposed. If his sentence is over 6 strokes (as it usually is) then he is to bend over the desk and grab hold of the desk at both ends. I then always fuss with regards to his position telling him to spread his legs wider and so forth.
I always try to maximize the boys waiting time by walking around and tapping his buttocks with the cane. I would suggest you do the same as it increases his fear of what is to come next.
The next aspect refers to how many strokes and the severity of the caning. I always ensure that the boy gets 3 strokes for the smallest misdemeanors such as not eating everything on his plate etc. 6 strokes is given for incidents such as poor level of homework, sloppiness and tardiness. 12 strokes is given for more serious offenses such as detention at school, rudeness, fighting and so forth. The next sentence is 18 strokes which is given in the most serious situations such as suspension from school and dangerous behavior. Always try to ensure that each stroke leaves a visible red welt. If it is necessary to break a blood blister do not hesitate to do so. It can only do the boy a world of good. Furthermore ensure that the boy is spared no pain. Extra strokes should be given if there are any signs of disobedience. Try to ask the boy silly questions such as whether it hurts knowing full well that it does. This increases the boys knowledge of the pain felt, making the experience that much more undesirable.
Once the caning is completed, I instruct the boy to stand in the middle of the room with his hands at the back of his head for 10 minutes. Rubbing is strictly forbidden and will lead to additional strokes being imposed. I would suggest caning the boy often ensuring that each experience is an extremely unpleasant occurrence for the boy. Enjoy the whipping. After all he is learning and being molded into a fine young adult ready to face the world thus the more severe the whipping the better the result in the future. You should expect total obedience and submission from the boy at all times. You know what is best for them. I test my boys obedience by calling them to my study once every two months and informing them that they are to receive 12 strokes of the cane. The punishment is not for any offense, yet I feel that a good thrashing would do them well. You must do so and ensure that they accept this punishment with the knowledge that they haven't done anything wrong. They must learn to accept the fact that you are their father figure and know whats best and if you believe they could use a good blistering then they must accept it. The simple reason that you wish to cane them should be good enough for them. If they start to argue add additional strokes for disobedience until the boys learn not to question your decisions again. Boys must fear the father and this can be only achieved through strict upbringing, as well as frequent and severe use of the cane.