There are very many fans of the Harry Potter books but how many of you realise that young Harry has a twin brother? Now, I do not want to spoil the books that are yet to come but I feel that the time has come to reveal to you that when you know who tried to kill the baby Harry the magic spell backfired and what actually happened was that the lad was split into two. Harry was left with most of the good qualities such as bravery, honesty and the ability to speak to snakes but his twin brother who was an identical twin had all the darker qualities of life and he ended up on another Earth in a parallel universe. This Potter was a sneak, a liar and so untrustworthy that even the snakes would not talk to him. The time has come to tell you a little of how he fared and how the two are eventually destined to meet up again one day.
This other Earth is vastly different from ours. For a start most of the inhabitants are wizards and witches and the muggles are very few in number and they try to keep their identities secret. This little Potter was always a handful and he too was brought up by a muggles family but he made their lives an absolute misery by playing all sorts of magic tricks on them. By the time this Potter reached the age of eleven they were only too pleased to see the back of him. He was packed off to an all boys school for wizards called Cowpats. On this enlightened planet there was no need for girls to be educated – it was thought that their place was in the kitchen, sweating over a hot cauldron. Cowpats was situated in the back of beyond and the family just hoped they would never see or hear from him again. They had named him Trains. Apparently this was a name of Transylvanian origin the meaning of which has been lost in the mists of time. And if you believe that, dear Reader, you will also believe the rest of this incredible story.
Trains is a stupid name and he quickly became known as puff puff and this in turn was shortened to Puffy and so Puffy Potter he was called by pupils and teachers alike.
Young Puffy Potter was always in trouble because he was so badly behaved. He upset Professor Turnip, the Herbology teacher, who came from Sweden, and was know as Turnip the Swede, (a great improvement on last years teacher Professor Sprouts from Brussels) by deliberately planting sage in the thyme pots and thyme in the basil pots so that all the spells that the good professor tried to teach his students failed to work. The Potter boy even annoyed the other students. There was one very well behaved young lad from France called Marcel Bonnefoi and Potter managed to turn him into a frog. It was some weeks later that the teachers managed to turn the lad back into his former self but the nickname of froggie stayed with the lad for life. They say that this is the reason why even today the vulgar English call the French frogs.
You can understand why not many weeks had passed in Potters first term before he was summoned to the Headmasters study. Dr Fumbleclaw was a man to be reckoned with. He was a fearsome looking ogre of a man with a long black beard and both the pupils and masters went in awe of him. He walked around carrying his magic wand, which somehow resembled a long school cane, swishing it in the air from time to time. He claimed that he could turn the pale bottoms of naughty pupils a nice red colour just with a flick of his magic wand. Potter was wondering if he might experience this for himself as he knocked rather timidly on the great mans door.
"Come in!" boomed a voice from within and young Potter suddenly felt rather nervous and slowly the door opened by itself and a hand that was not attached to any body beckoned him in. The room was dark and cold and all around on the wall were rows and rows of canes and whips and leather tawses. There were also a quite a few portraits of previous Headmasters and they all looked a mean lot, as Headmasters are. The portraits moved and some of them seemed to be looking at Potter and following him as the hand suddenly grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and catapulted the young man forward until he was standing in front of the Headmasters enormous desk.
"You have been a naughty little boy," roared the Headmaster, "and your masters have asked me to punish you." Poor Potter shrank as these words echoed around the room and the figures in the portraits began to click their tongues with tut tuts. A few of them had already got hold of a cane and were swishing it around as though advising the Headmaster what action he should take.
"I am very sorry," croaked the young trembling lad.
"SORRY! SORRY! It is too late to be sorry – you must pay for your bad behaviour! " shrieked the Headmaster who had now risen from his chair and seemed to be ten feet tall. Potters scar on his forehead began to glow bright red and the zigzag was starting to hurt as though the young lad was in the presence of great evil – but then it is a well known fact that all Headmasters are by definition evil.
The Doctor got hold of his magic wand which had been lying on the top of his desk and with a quick flick - all the clothes that Potter had been wearing disappeared from his body and lay in a neat pile on the floor at the back of the study. Potter was stark naked! Automatically the lad covered his private parts with his two hands – but to tell the truth there was not much to cover. He was a puny specimen. Another flick of the magic wand and Potter now found himself lying across a punishment bench and his hands and legs were tied down so that he could not budge. His pale bottom however was now fully exposed and ready to receive whatever the Headmaster wanted to deliver.
Slowly, ever so slowly, Doctor Fumbleclaw approached his victim and, try as he could, the helpless Potter could not move. The Doctor felt the boys buttocks – first one side then the other and slowly ran his hand down the crack in the centre. Much to Potters surprise it felt quite good but then the Doctor raised his wand and brought it crashing down across the boys hapless bottom. "OOH!" yelled the boy. Then came a second devastating blow from the cane and an even louder "OOUCH!" echoed round the room. There were now two parallel red lines standing out on the boys round bottom. The Headmaster raised his cane or wand a third time and brought it crashing down so that a diagonal line appeared making a red zigzag pattern on the boys buttocks, which exactly matched the smaller version on the boys forehead. "Aaaargh!" screamed the lad but the Headmasters in the portraits all clapped their hands in appreciation of Dr Fumbleclaws accuracy. The good Doctor nodded his head in acknowledgement of his predecessors applause and proceeded to repeat this pattern once again so that Potters bum now had two lovely red zig zags to match the scar on his forehead. With another flick of his magic wand the Headmaster released the boy who clutched his burning bottom with his hands, trying to relieve the searing pain. He was still naked however but the pain in his bottom was so intense that he did not seem to care about his nakedness.
"You may go," bellowed the great man and young Potter grabbed hold of his clothes and fled into the corridor. There were many boys in the corridor and they all began to look at him and titter. Suddenly poor Potter realised that he still had no clothes on and they were all looking at the marks on his erstwhile beautiful bottom. He flushed a deep crimson and quickly tried to don his school uniform, tripping over himself in the process.
This was young Potters first taste of discipline at his new school. There was much more to come.........