Remember! Remember! The Fifth of November!
This is a chant that every English Schoolboy will know by heart. I had better explain for all my American readers – well my one American reader actually - that it recalls the time when one Guy Fawkes was foiled in his attempt to blow up the Houses of Parliament. Every year on the fifth of November fireworks are let off and an effigy of the aforesaid Guy Fawkes is put on the bonfire and set alight. I am not quite sure if this is to celebrate the fact that he was caught in the act or if his effigy is burnt because he failed in his attempt!!
Most schools have a Parents Committee and we were no exception. Their main task is to run social events for the school and maybe raise some money for special projects and my main task in that direction is to make sure that they did not take over the running of the school!
One year one of the younger, more enthusiastic parents asked if we could have a firework display on November 5th in the schools playing fields. He rightly maintained that if parents pooled their fireworks we would have a really bigger display than any one persons display at home and it could be supervised carefully so that it would be safer for the children who came along. I could see no logical reason to oppose this idea even though I did not like it. I am not fond of fireworks and like all good self-respecting Headmasters I do not like to see children enjoying themselves. As everyone knows, I am there to make their little lives a misery.
It was decided that we would buy the fireworks from a local shop in town. This was a small newsagents that sold confectionary and toys as well as fireworks as November the fifth approached. This shop had been run for many years by a charming elderly couple but they had decided to retire and had sold out. The new owner was a very young looking man in his early twenties and I learned that his name was Anthony Catchpenny. He was much too young to be in charge of a shop but no doubt he had a rich daddy who had bought it for him. He was pleasant enough when I went in to buy my newspaper and it was rather nice when I had the chance to see him bend down to pick something up from a low shelf because he had a very attractive slim figure and a bottom that just asked for some attention if ever the opportunity arose.....
It was some four weeks into the new autumn term when Mr Catchpenny paid a visit to the school and asked to see me. I welcomed him into my study and asked him what had brought him away from his shop and into school. He said that he had a complaint about two of my boys. He had caught them shoplifting and demanded that they be punished. What is more he wanted them caned and he wanted to see the caning for himself – otherwise he was going to the police and charging the boys with theft.
The day was not turning out well. I do not like caning in public and I disliked even more the thought that two of my boys had been caught stealing. I showed the young shop owner copies of form photographs that I kept in my study and he was easily able to identify the two boys. I sent for the two boys and they were two very well behaved boys in their fifth year at school. I found it hard to believe that they could have been stealing but you never know. The two lads duly came into my study and went very white when they heard the accusations levelled at them. Both boys vehemently denied any stealing and so I put it to Mr Catchpenny that perhaps he was mistaken. The latter then produced one of these rather new video cameras and said that he had it all on film. We watched the short video and indeed the two boys appeared to have taken some comics and had left the shop without offering any payment. The boys insisted that they had paid for the comics but there seemed to be the evidence on film. I gave the boys the option of being caned or reporting the matter to their parents and to the police. The boys went outside and thought the matter over for some minutes before returning and saying that they would accept the caning even though they still insisted on their innocence. They did not want to risk the matter going to their parents or to the police. In my experience boys will usually take whatever punishment is offered rather than their parents being told even if they think the punishment is unjustified. This way it is over and done with and not blown up into who knows what.
I ordered the two boys to remove their jackets and I told the first one to bend over my desk. His trousers tightened nicely over his round buttocks and he was ready to receive his caning. I let him have four strokes and then told him to stand up and he could watch his friend receive the same treatment. Mr Catchpenny was positively salivating at the sight of these boys being caned. Victim number two bent over the desk without being told and his posterior also received four hard strokes of the cane. I did not give them the full six because I was not entirely happy that they were guilty but, like the boys, I was prepared to give Anthony Catchpenny what he wanted rather than have two of my boys facing a court prosecution.
It is not often that this Headmaster is not very happy after caning two of his boys but it just did not seem right. Anyway I dismissed the two boys who were busy rubbing their bottoms and I asked Mr Catchpenny to leave as I had important work to do. In actual fact I wanted a glass of medicine from the bottle of sherry that I kept in my desk but I certainly was not in the mood to offer my guest any of it!
The firework season was fast approaching and in one of my morning assemblies I warned all the lads of the dangers of fireworks. I told them that every year there were hundreds of accidents in early November. Up and down the land there would be boys and girls who would suffer terrible injuries because they had not heeded the firework code and did not realise that they were dealing with explosives. Some would lose fingers and some would lose a hand. I made it as gruesome as possible until even I was feeling queasy at the thought of it all. Of course they were all forbidden to bring fireworks to school and there would be the severest punishment if anyone dared to break this rule. I completed my little homily by informing them that there would be a firework display in the school fields on the night of the fifth of November and they would all be welcome to attend and so would their families. At this unexpected piece of news lots of little faces beamed with pleasure but I just scowled, as usual.
A week went by and I was walking across the playground during one dinner break when suddenly a group of lads started moving rather quickly in all directions as a series of explosions could be heard. Someone had dared to let off one of those jumping crackers and it spluttered and banged itself into any direction at random. I looked around and saw that two lads were standing well back but looking at the scene in amusement. When they saw me looking at them they went very red in the face and immediately I had my suspects.
"You two, come with me!" and the two lads who were now going rather ashen faced meekly followed me to my study. "Empty your pockets," I said in a tone, which brooked no dissent. The two lads reluctantly obeyed and out came several bangers, another jumping cracker and a box of matches. "Oh!" I said, "You will pay dearly for this flagrant breach of my rules regarding the bringing of fireworks into school. You will both be caned. Remove your blazers. Now lower your trousers and your pants." The lads did as they were told. And were now standing in front of my desk with their trousers and pants around their ankles. I pointed to one of them and said "You can stand facing the wall with your hands on your head and you, " I said, pointing to the second lad, " can bend over my desk."
Once they had both taken up their respective positions I took out one of my thicker canes and delivered two hard strokes across the creamy white buttocks that were in position. "Stand up!" I ordered and the lad stood up somewhat relieved that he had received only two strokes of the cane. He began to pull his pants up. "I did not tell you to pull your pants up – leave them down and change places." The boy who had two red stripes across his bottom now faced the wall with his hands on his head whilst the other boy took his place. He had a bigger bottom and I lined the cane up nice and square and let him have his two strokes. They had to change places again and the first boy got another two hard strokes and tears were beginning to flow down his face. They changed places again and the second lad got his second dose. I made them do this three times in all so that eventually they both got their six strokes but it was drawn out for maximum effect. Finally I had them stand in front of my desk, still with their pants down and their hands on their head. I waited a few minutes and then asked them where they had bought the fireworks (which I was confiscating of course). They volunteered the information that they had bought the fireworks on the way to school at Mr Catchpennys shop in town.
I raised my eyebrows at this interesting piece of news. I had him! I dismissed the boys and took a brisk walk into town. I waited until his shop was empty and then strode in, bristling with indignation.
"I understand from my boys that you have been selling fireworks to them." He said nothing. "You do know, of course, that it is illegal to sell fireworks to boys under the age of 16. If I report this matter to the police you will lose your licence to sell fireworks and you will lose a very valuable part of your trade – including the large order you have from my parents association."
I let this sink in and then went on. "I will give you the same choice you demanded from me for my boys. Either you will come to my house for a caning this evening at seven oclock or I shall have to report the matter to my friend who happens to be a police Inspector." I was of course lying about my friend but he did not know that! He had gone rather pale at this piece of news and I more than suspected that he enjoyed watching bottoms being caned rather than being on the receiving end himself. I gave him my address and strode out of his shop feeling rather pleased with myself.
I watched the clock impatiently and when 7 oclock arrived he did not appear. I was rather disappointed as the minutes ticked by. However ten minutes later there was a ring on my bell and there he was looking very much like a schoolboy in trouble with his Headmaster. Apparently he had been standing outside for ten minutes, too frightened to ring my doorbell. I ordered him inside and once he was in my lounge I told him to lower his trousers and pants.
"L-lower my trousers," he mumbled, "you never made the boys do that."
"Your crime is worse than theirs. Many children could have had serious injuries as a result of your selling fireworks to under age boys. Just get them down."
"Yes, Sir."
He had become a naughty boy in front of his Headmaster and he did as he was told and before long he was standing in front of me with his trousers and pants around his ankles.
" I am going to spank you first and then I am going to cane you. Put yourself over my knee."
I had sat in a high chair and he came over to me and positioned himself nicely across my knees. He really did have a nice boyish bottom. I let my hands just rest on his white buttocks and gently trace the contours of the two halves of his bottom. I could feel him growing hard underneath. I then spanked first one side and then the other. I smacked him gently at first and then increased the severity slowly but surely until he had a very red bottom and was squirming to avoid my hand. I then ordered him up and told him to bend over my table with his arms outstretched in front of him. I took out a cane I kept at home and I could see that he was casting frightened glances my way. I took up my position and took my time in aligning my cane with the centre of his bottom and then I let him have it. Six nice hard strokes and he cried out after each one. I did not allow him up even after the six strokes. "I want you to admit something to me," I said, "my boys did not steal anything from your shop, did they? DID THEY?" I boomed out.
"No sir," he confessed, "they paid for the comics before they took them from my shop but that was not on the video."
" I thought so. I just knew it was not in their characters to go stealing. Stay where you are I am going to give you another six with this leather tawse. I took out a tawse which is a kind of strap but split into three tails. I let it rest on his already marked bottom and inflicted another six strokes on his little bottom and only then was he allowed up. He was allowed to get dressed and away he went. I felt that justice had been done.
The next day I went into his shop to buy my newspaper as usual and I wondered what my reception would be like. In the event he said nothing but when he turned to put money into the till he rubbed his bottom and grinned at me. I had the distinct feeling that he might be back for more.