This story follows on from "The Golden Ass" episodes 1 and 2, which should be read first. Lucius Apuleius, who has been metamorphosed in the form of a donkey, relates his adventures in the hands of various masters and mistresses.
There was only one black cloud in the idyllic new life I had at Pulchrias villa. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say two small black clouds. These were Pulchrias nephews Rufus and Romulus, identical twins aged 13 – double trouble if ever there was. Her brother Publius often used to bring them along when he visited her. They were the most horrible, spoilt brats imaginable. While Pulchria and Publius were chatting in the villa, the boys would be sent out into the walled garden where I used to graze. And yes, as you can imagine, the first thing that would come to the minds of two bored, mischievous adolescent males was to tease the poor little donkey tethered there, i. e. me.
They would shove stinging nettles up my arse and dust my ears with itching powder, laughing at the way I twitched my rump and ears to relieve my agony. Then they would clamber on my back, whipping my side with a switch to make me give them a ride round the garden. Right little tykes they were! Little did they know that inside that donkeys head was the mind of a man and not a dumb ass. Oooh, how I seethed and longed to get even with these young monsters. Unfortunately, they always seemed to know when their parents and aunt were about to come out into the garden. They would then cease tormenting me and act all angelic – the little rotters. How I longed to get my revenge on them for all those times they whipped my flanks raw with a switch!
The gods must have eventually smiled on me because one day, at last, I got my chance. At one end of the walled garden there was a small yard which (from the garden) was only accessible through a wrought-iron gate that was normally kept securely locked. The only other way into the yard was through the kitchen and Urbanus the cook, who had a violent temper, would have skinned them alive if they had tried to take that route. Through the gate the boys could see an enormous cake resting on a long trestle table. It had a beautiful shape, like a Roman galley, and looked mouth-wateringly delicious. There were also piles of cookies and pastries which Urbanus had been busy preparing. Pulchria was going to have a garden party later that evening.
"Cor, look at that lot!" said Rufus.
"Looks absolutely delicious, doesnt it? Wish we could have a bite at them, Im starving!" said Romulus.
They tried forcing the gate open, but the lock held and the wall at that end of the garden was at least 10 cubits (15ft) high, so they couldnt get in that way.
"Aah, lets give up. We cant get in there" said Rufus.
It was then that Romulus spotted the ladder lying by the garden shed. It had been left there by some builders who were doing some renovation work on Pulchrias villa. It was just long enough to enable the boys to scale the wall.
"Yes we can!" said Romulus, nudging his brothers arm. "Give me a hand with this ladder. We can use it to scale the wall and climb down the vine growing on the other side.
There were dozens of rose bushes growing at the base of the wall and it was not easy to find a place to set up the ladder. Clad in their short togas, the boys scratched their legs several times on the thorns. Eventually they got the ladder in place and scaled the wall.
Once on the other side it was easy to climb down the vine. The boys sneaked up to the trestle table and made a hole in the side of the cake, causing it to cave in. They shoved as much cake, cookies and pastries into their satchels as they could and then dashed back to the wall, clambering up the vine again.
Meanwhile, I of course had been observing all this carefully. I crept down the garden towards the spot where the ladder was resting against the wall. It was not at all easy to get at. The thorns on the rose bushes were agonising. I had thick hairy skin on my back which protected me there, but there was much less hair on my legs and I had to move very gingerly to avoid getting badly scratched. Eventually I reached the ladder without too much suffering and nudged it with my head. Just as the boys reached the top of the wall on the other side, I succeeded in toppling over the ladder, which fell with a loud crash onto some amphoras of wine, spilling their contents onto the flower-beds. I began to kick and eeyore with joy at the triumph of my plan. Pulchria and Publius rushed out to see what on earth was going on. They saw the ladder and the broken amphoras and me capering around the lawn like a mad thing. Then, as they lifted their gaze upwards, they saw two very red-faced, guilty-looking boys sitting astride the wall. Without the ladder there was no way down into the walled garden. They could not risk jumping onto the rose bushes.
At that moment Urbanus the cook started yelling. He had come out of the kitchen and seen the wreck, which had been a beautiful, galley-shaped cake. He was stamping around on the point of apoplexy, so great was his rage at seeing the demise of his culinary masterpiece.
Pulchria and Publius soon learnt the reason for the cooks rage when they looked through the wrought-iron gate and saw the sad state of the cake he had spent so long working on.
"What shall we do with Rufus and Romulus?" asked Pulchria.
"I would leave them up on the wall to stew for a while. If they climb back down into the yard, Urbanus will skin them alive. If they try to jump down on this side, theyll land on the rose-bushes. Either way, it will be a most painful experience for them!" said Publius.
"But we cant leave them up there for ever, can we?"
"No, well ask Nigrellus, your tall black slave, to get them down eventually. But lets leave them up there for an hour or so first."
Rufus and Romulus sat astride the wall, munching the loot they had taken from the table in the yard and pretending not to be bothered about their plight. After an hour or so Pulchria once again brought up the question of what to do with the boys.
"Have you ever spanked them, Publius?"
"Good Zeus, no! Theyre normally such little angels. I wouldnt have the heart to hurt them."
"Well, I think youve made a mistake, Publius. Theyre obviously not half as angelic as youve supposed them to be. And look at them up there on the wall, munching away at their ill-gotten gains without a care in the world. Theyve ruined my garden party unless Urbanus can rustle up another cake in time. And they dont look at all bothered or contrite. They know eventually Nigrellus is going to shin up that ladder and get them down."
"Youre right, Pulchria. Theyve really gone too far this time. How do you suggest the boys should be punished?"
At that moment I gave a loud eeyore and they turned round and looked at me.
"We could tie them over the donkey and flog them. It wont be the first time Ive used him in that way" said Pulchria, obviously referring to the thrashing my previous owner, Aronius, had received.
"Flog them?! You surely dont mean with a whip, do you?"
"No, although they certainly deserve to be horsewhipped. I was thinking of that razor strap Nigrellus uses to sharpen his blades. Nigrellus!"
The enormous black slave who constantly waited on Pulchria, came to her side and bowed.
"Nigrellus, go and fetch that thick leather strap you sharpen your razor blades on. I want you then to set up the ladder and get those two boys down. Then I want you to tie them over the donkeys back and whip their little bums until the skin is nearly broken. Only stop when you draw a little blood."
"Very good, mistress" said Nigrellus, as he went off obediently to carry out her command. Along with the strap, he brought the same harness which had been used to tie Aronius for his chastisement and fitted it over my back. This time there was an extra couple of straps in the middle.
Rufus and Romulus still had no idea of the fate which was to befall them. They were licking the last remains of the cake off their fingers.
"Im getting a bit fed up sitting up here on the wall," said Rufus.
"Aah, they wont leave us up here for ever. Its just to punish us for stealing the cake and that. Just pretend you arent bothered. Theyll get us down from here soon enough," replied Romulus.
No sooner had he said this than Nigrellus rested the ladder on the wall and started climbing up. He put one boy on his back and tucked the other one under his right arm and then started down the ladder gain. As if on cue, I sidled right up to him.
"Good little donkey! Its almost as if you know what Im going to do next," said Nigrellus. Little did he know!
Nigrellus deposited both boys on their stomachs over my back and told them sternly not to move.
"Hey! You cant tell us what to do. Youre only a slave!" said Rufus.
"He can and he will" said Pulchria. "Your father and I have decided you need teaching a lesson and Nigrellus is going to be your teacher!"
"Dad! This sucks! You cant let them do this to us," said Romulus.
"You got yourselves into this, boys. Now youll have to take the consequences," said Publius.
Nigrellus tied Rufus left wrist to the strap nearest my head and Romulus right wrist to the strap nearest my tail. He then tied Rufus right wrist and Romulus left wrist to the middle strap. The boys had no possibility of running away now, so he went round the back of me and tied their ankles to the straps on the other side. He then pulled up their togas and exposed their pretty little white fannies, which I could see beautifully reflected in the clear still pool where I used to drink.
The boys were obviously terrified at the punishment that was about to befall them.
"Dad! Aunt Pulchria! Were sorry for spoiling the cake. Please dont let Nigrellus spank us!" pleaded Romulus.
"Its too late for that now, boys" said Pulchria. "We would be failing in our duty if we did not impress on you the seriousness of your naughty behaviour, wouldnt we, Publius?"
"We would indeed, Pulchria. You can carry on, Nigrellus. Warm them up nicely with those splendidly large hands of yours and then fry their little bottoms with the razor strap."
Nigrellus did not need much persuasion. He too, like me, had suffered at the hands of the twins. Their rowdiness and insolence had often been intolerable. Now he had been given full authority to chastise them. What bliss! They were already snivelling – little cowards! – and begging Nigrellus not to be too hard on them. But he had his orders: they were to be flogged till the first sign of blood. He was determined that it would be a long time before any bleeding occurred. He would give them a long drawn-out flogging which would hurt them considerably without being excessive. Nigrellus had often disciplined the other servants and knew just how hard to beat his victims.
WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! Nigrellus huge black hand was almost as wide as both Rufus buttocks. The boy screamed and bucked with the pain, but I held him securely in place.
WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! Now it was Romulus turn. His legs too started flailing as he begged for mercy.
Nigrellus was so strong he could have spanked the boys indefinitely without getting tired and his hands were as tough as leather. After a while the boys stopped screaming and bucking and lay meekly sobbing over my back.
"Well now, young Rufus and Romulus! Do you think youve learned your lesson?"
"O yes, Aunt Pulchria!" chorused the boys.
"Yes, well. YOU may think so, but I dont. After a hand spanking youll be comfortable again within an hour or so. I intend you to be sore for at least two or three days, during which time I hope you will be unable to sit down. Carry on, Nigrellus!"
"No, auntie, no!! Pleeease!" pleaded the boys.
Nigrellus picked up the razor strap and tapped it lightly on the palm of his other hand. He then drew his arm back and brought the strap down with full force on Rufus buttocks, leaving an angry red mark which stood out distinctly from the pink area caused by the hand spanking. Rufus roared with pain and broke into tears once again. The strap then came down with equal force on Romulus buttocks and he too screamed loud enough to awaken the dead. Pretty soon they kept up a continuous wailing sound as that awful strap landed first on one boys fanny and then on the other. All in all Nigrellus must have given them about thirty strokes each. The boys bottoms were covered in welts and blisters. Nigrellus could see that just a few more strokes would break the skin and cause bleeding. He turned anxiously to Publius, who gave him a nod to carry on. Nigrellus summoned up his full strength and laid into Rufus bottom with a hail of strokes with no gap in between. The boy let out a heart-rending shriek. A small trickle of blood ran down his right thigh. His brother Romulus, lying just an inch away beside him, trembled with fear, waiting for his turn to come. Nigrellus rested the strap on his bottom and then began a rain of strokes. Romulus bucked and yelled, but there was no way to avoid that murderous strap. Soon he too was bleeding and Nigrellus then put down the strap. Both boys sobbed and wept for several minutes after their flogging was over.
"Well, now, Rufus and Romulus. What have you got to say for yourselves?"
"Sorry, Dad. Weve been a couple of brats. Were sorry for stealing Aunt Pulchrias cake and things. We deserved to be beaten."
"Thats better. You can let them go now, Nigrellus. Mind you both behave from now on. I wont hesitate to have you flogged again if you dont."
For the rest of that day the boys behaviour was impeccable. They were even nice to me and tenderly stroked my mane. It is amazing how effective a sore backside can be in correcting the behaviour of errant young males. Strange that we are often so slow in giving them what they need.