It had been six weeks since the night of the storm and I had been depressed every day since then. Life was normal. A. J. and I were still best friends, Petey was no different and as far as Drew was concerned, the matter was closed the day David was sent off to college. Drew had a long talk with my Dad about David and I could see that they were very angry. It must have been some conversation because I had never seen my Dad so scared as he hustled his son off to college and it was obvious that my mom was clueless by the questions she asked about the haste.

A. J. and I were back in school which we both enjoyed. We didn't even mind that we had to wear uniforms because there was no thought about what to pull on in the mornings. Neither one of us took much real notice of clothes. Well I did whenever Cole was around which wasn't often if I was visiting. He'd still hug me when he saw me and I would get to give him the obligatory kiss, but there was a distance, not a coldness, just a sad distance between us. I even suspected that he deliberately busied himself in his studio to avoid having to see me at all.

I guess I couldn't blame him. He must relive that night like it was his worst nightmare...a blow job from a love sick kid then getting his ass beaten by his lover because of it.

To me, it was one of the best/worst nights of my short life. I replayed it in my mind over and over remembering what it was like to have him in my mouth and the sweet fragrance of wet jasmine in his hair. I was so lonely for him and the relationship we used to have, playful, teasing and trusting. Trust was the thing that I had violated and once I realized it, I cried myself to sleep every night.

That autumn I wasn't doing very well. My weight, which was never very much, was dropping. The teachers complained that I was distracted and seemed over-tired, listless, even apathetic. I promised my parents that I would do better, but I didn't no matter how hard I tried. Mom thought I missed David. How could I tell my parents that I was depressed about Cole? I knew my Dad had heard what happened but he would kill me if I ever told my mom. I didn't know what to do.

The last Friday in September that year was a half day at our private school. It worked out well for A. J. who had a doctor's appointment that afternoon. We got off the bus together and walked up his driveway. Drew was pulling his pickup out of the garage and called over to us that our timing was great, Petey had lunch ready. I said bye to A. J. and headed home.

Drew's voice boomed, "HOLD IT, BOY! You're spending the day here. Cole's going to watch you while A. J. and I see his doctor and Petey gets the rest of the stuff for my party."

He couldn't miss the look of dread on my face. "MOVE IT, BOY! It'll be OK."

Yeah sure, I had to think fast. I would die if I had to haunt the kitchen while Cole hid out to avoid me. "Ah Sir, Elena's waiting. She knows I'm supposed to be home this afternoon. I don't want my folks to think I'm trying to get out of homework by hanging out here." I smiled weakly to emphasize my point.

Drew's steely blue eyes bored right through me. "Yes, I've heard ALL about your school work. We're going to fix that or I'll know the reason WHY. You need to put that weight you've lost back on, too. We're going to start with lunch." He glanced over his shoulder into the darkened garage and said meaningfully, "Aren't we?"

Cole emerged slowly into the sunlight from within. "Yes Drew." He answered quietly. Oh god, he took my breath away wearing one of my favorite outfits: skin tight jeans, boots and a black Boot Hill Saloon T-shirt cut just short of his waist, exposing his navel.

"GOOD!" Drew thundered cheerily. "COME ON, LET'S EAT! YOU BOY, GIVE COLE HIS KISS AND SEE IF WE CAN'T WORK YOU UP AN APPETITE!"

Both of us blushed furiously, but he knelt down and hugged me and I kissed him on the cheek, breathing in the aroma of his shampoo. To my surprise, he picked me up and carried me to the kitchen, playfully swinging me over his shoulder and dangling me upside down. I grabbed on to the waistband of his jeans and held on tight, giggling wildly. My nose was buried in his long ponytail and I had a perfect view of his delectable orbs as he walked. It was just like before! I was ecstatic!

At lunch, I ate ravenously. Petey's eyebrows climbed near his hairline at my capacity for his tostones.

My mood swing was not lost on Drew who cracked jokes all through lunch about Cole and me. Obviously everyone at the table knew what had happened between us and it was to be talked about it until 'we' got over it. Although I was embarrassed, I was relieved. Drew was forcing us to 'kiss and make up'.

After lunch, the three of them left and I wondered if we could pull off a whole afternoon together. We did the dishes and chatted easily about school, family, the mess Petey left the kitchen in, but not a word about that night. I wondered how I would know if he trusted me again and if he did, then would everything really be back...? How could everything go back to the way they were? In my confusion, I had started to withdraw and lose track of what he was saying to me. Cole noticed and did something that surprised me.

He took me into his studio and showed me the earring he had crafted for Drew's birthday present. It was exquisite. A delicate spider's web of silver with a tiny gold spider making its way towards a tiny gold butterfly. It was about a half inch around or less and the stud that would hold it in Drew's ear pierced right through the butterfly. I had never seen anything so delicate and beautiful.

I asked him curiously, "Why a butterfly, not just a fly?"

He answered lightly, neatly avoiding my question, "It's a private joke." I didn't like anything about him to be private. I was becoming more and more possessive of Cole. One day and I didn't care how long it took me, I was going to be the most important person in his life just as he was in mine.

Cole flushed with pleasure at my praise of his work and showed me sketches of other designs that he had made and sold. They were so elegant, I couldn't imagine why he would sell them. Drew had plenty of money, I insisted, plenty for the both of them. He shouldn't have to sell his work! He seemed embarrassed but pleased at my passion for his talent. Before I could go off on another tangent he made me promise not to give away his surprise for Drew and shooed me home to get a bathing suit. I was told to meet him at the pool.

I was on a cloud that I just rode home and back. Elena, our housekeeper, was surly because she had to prepare for a dinner party that evening, so I was doubly glad I didn't have to stay with her.

When I got to the pool, Cole was already in it. _d_a_m_n_, I wanted to watch him dive in. We played all our regular games and he even let me stand on his shoulders to be tossed into the deep end. I pleaded for one last round of 'torpedo' to be close to him and then exhausted, he left the pool and headed into the kitchen. I floated lazily on my back daydreaming my darkest desires. There were two cold drinks in his hands when he returned and he called to me that it was time to come out.

When he turned around and bent over to put the drinks onto a low table, I noticed a huge bruise at the top of his right thigh. It was an angry shade of purple, almost black. I wondered why it looked familiar? I knew, almost immediately as I watched him settle into a lounge chair. Drew had beaten him for some reason. I couldn't concentrate on what Cole was saying. All I could think of was Drew hurting him and my thoughts were murderous. Again Cole was speaking and I just interrupted him rudely.

"Why did he beat you?!" I demanded. I couldn't believe my own nerve that could push my way into his private life like that, but I had a suspicion that it had something to do with me.

He avoided my glare. "Did Drew have to beat you for you to be nice to me? Is this all a lie? You really don't forgive me and you're only here because he forced you!"

I was heartsick and ready to bolt but he was out of the chair like a shot and held me tightly. He was way too strong for me to push away but I tried mightily. I kicked him in the shins and pummeled his sides in my fury. My tears were coming so heavily that I would have been blinded even if I could have gotten loose.

"Settle down and I'll tell you what happened! The truth, trust me! Please, stop this, it won't help! Now stop it if you really do care about me." He was pleading with me.

As my struggling stopped he gradually let me go. Then it occurred to me that he had been stroking my hair and back to soothe me. Cole retrieved the cold drink he had brought me and pushed it into my hand then went back to the lounge chair with his. I walked to the edge of the pool and sat down, my back to him. Then he made his confession.

"You were right, I was avoiding you, but not because I was angry with you. Every time I looked at you I had to wonder if Drew was right, that I had to know it was you. I knew you had a crush on me, I'm not blind. I thought it was harmless and I admit I got a kick out of it." He sounded dismal.

He took an audible deep breath and continued sounding more forlorn with every word. "I mean, what kind of man let's a little kid...." His voice was breaking. "I'm no better than David, but I didn't want to admit it to you or myself." He couldn't go on.

I could feel the blood draining from my face at the mention of David's name. "You should have told me that it wasn't because of what I did! I thought you didn't want to be friends anymore and you didn't even notice how hurt I was! I'm glad Drew punished you like that, you deserve it!"

I jumped to my feet and ran past him to the house and the safety of A. J's room. All the hurt I had been feeling came back along with a blazing anger. I pulled on a pair of my friend's dry shorts and when I knew I could handle things without crying again, I went to the kitchen and looked out at the lounge chairs. They were empty. So I went down the hall to their bedroom and listened at the door. The shower was running. Not bothering to knock, I let myself in.

Cole was sitting on the floor of the shower wringing the chlorine out of his hair. It looked odd but I stayed out of his sight and went to sit on the bed. I had more to say and he was going to listen. So I waited. The shower was still going five minutes later and I was anxious to confront him before my anger cooled. He was still on the floor of the shower slumped against the wall and I could see then that he was weeping. I reached in, hit the brass handle and the water stopped.

"Get your ass out here." I ordered. Slowly he began to rise. "NOW, I SAID." He moved more quickly and grabbed a towel to wrap around his waist.

Returning to the bedroom, I glowered over my shoulder at him and demanded, "Bring me the paddle." I was afraid that I was going too far and I was already forming another plan if he didn't obey me, but he did. He went to one of the closets and took out a heavy paddle that exactly matched the one in my dad's study. It was very heavy, too heavy for my skinny wrists, but my anger was going to give me strength.

"Show me how Drew likes it." I was deliberately pushing him and enjoying my control over him tremendously. He walked slowly to the bed, put the paddle on it then bent over and placed his hands beside it, spreading his legs a little. Drunk with power, I picked up the evil looking thing and pulled his towel off. I had to force myself not to look between his legs. I had to concentrate. His butt was so bruised, I almost changed my mind, so I hit him quickly before I did.

WHACK! A low groan came from somewhere deep inside him, but he didn't move. I struck him again and again and again.

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

I could hear him sobbing, "Do it...I deserve it...I was a selfish bastard...I'm sorry, I'm sorry." His breath came out in heaves, he sounded so broken that I didn't have the heart to continue with the paddle. I returned it to the closet, there was a hook on the wall for it, so that no one but us would know that it had been used. Cole stayed where he was. I needed to hold him but I knew he still needed to be punished, so I took his hairbrush and sat on the bed, pulling myself to its center.

"Put yourself across my knees." I commanded.

He looked up, "I'm too heavy. I'll hurt you."

"You're good at hurting me, aren't you?" I almost whispered to him.

He looked like he had been slapped. Slowly he placed himself across my lap. I could feel his _c_o_c_k_ and hairy balls on my thighs. He was a little heavy but the bed supported his whole weight. Oh god, he was so beautiful just spread out there for me and all I wanted to do was caress him but I couldn't, not yet. I brought the brush down on those naked mounds over and over as hard as I possibly could. After the first few blows, I could feel him leaning into it and following my rhythm. I could also feel him lengthening until he was hard as a rock. He was actually enjoying it, I realized with a thrill.

The control I had gained had to be savored. I decided to end the punishment, for then. I had some retribution, but I wanted more. "This isn't over between us. You deserve much more for treating me so badly, don't you?" Again, I almost whispered. He nodded as I rubbed his back lightly. I inspected his ass, which was stove-hot to the touch, for signs of my handiwork. Surprisingly, it didn't appear that I had marked him, except for one small, I peered closely at it, was it a bruise?

I could feel him laughing. "Do I stink or have you just spotted the tattoo?"

A tattoo? I ran my finger over it and got even closer. Cole was really laughing then, "If you get any closer, your nose will be in my crack!" He was verging on hysteria.

"I can see a black and yellow butterfly, but what's it say underneath it?" In my intense curiosity about him, I had lost the upper hand.

Hearing Drew's boots on the hall tiles, I quickly covered Cole with the towel and started brushing his hair. He was still laughing but tried to muffle the sounds with the bed. Drew loomed in the doorway.

"There you are! Jeez, Cole! You'll crush the kid. Get off him. There's pizza in the kitchen. So, little boy, you two friends again? Did you have a fun afternoon? See, I knew if I left the two of you together..." He had turned and walked away still talking but we were laughing too hard to listen.

"So? What's it say?" I demanded as I watched him struggle to pull on his jeans over a huge erection.

"This afternoon stays between us?" He smiled. I smiled back. "You'll have to wait until I get stuck baby sitting you again." He looked at the door anxiously, watching for Drew's return. I grinned wickedly and headed for that pizza. I was famished again.